Tips for a clean urine sample

mcvgal

Give them to me ladies! Every single doctor's visit, I get urine on my hands and sometimes on my pants. I just don't know that I will ever master the skill

cuntasaurusrex

You're doin' it wrong.

alyssa719

Learn how to write your name in the snow first!! 

Rach7170

I don't understand. Same concept of peeing on a stick. Sit on the toilet with your pant around your ankles and put the cup under the stream.

TricksyPixie

I don't normally have a problem. o_o Except the first time, I accidentally overfilled the cup, and i was trying to get some tp while holding the cup to clean it up and spilled probably 1/4 of it on the floor. I still had plenty, and I cleaned it up, but I was out of the hospital faster than you could say hopscotch.

I just hold the thing directly under me, take a whiz, seal the cup and clean the cup. Oh, and I wash my hands, regardless of if I've sprinkled on them or not. Which I usually don't. But then again, I could be a witch and be all magicy and crap.

MonkeyJD

I basically hold the cup as close to my body as possible. That way there's very little room for me to get splashed. I also push my pants all the way to my ankles so they don't get in the way.

cuntasaurusrex

For serious though, let a few drops out, then stop the flow, hold the cup directly to your junk, and let 'er rip.

shamyfowler

Drop your pants all the way down, spread your legs and pee in the cup? The only time I had trouble was at my very last appointment last time and my belly was huge and I couldn't see what I was doing and peed on my hand.

mcvgal

Thanks ladies, I think I haven't been holding it close enough.

Although as cool as it would be to write my name in the snow, it's too long. I ran out of bubbles on standardized test answer sheets in school.

1982Babies

I hold it right to my crotch and whiz at an angle (lift a cheek up for comfort).  Sometimes, I'll get it on my hand, but whatever, it's washable.

purpleXdandelion

So toward the end of your pregnancy when you're all swollen down there, I was told to hold my labia open while peeing. It made a huge difference and I do it all the time now. The pee goes straight down vs all over my legs haha. So here is the correct sequence of events:
1. pull down pants and undies
2. Spread your labia with pointer finger and thumb.
3. Wipe front to back with the cleaning wipe.
4. Pee a little in the toilet to flush out the cells sitting at the end of your vag. Or something.
5. Pee the rest in the cup.
ETA 6. release labia.

I work in a lab and I approve these instructions.

cakebatter27

I have the world's shyest bladder. I'm lucky if I can squeeze a few drops out. Then after I can whiz like a race horse.

I hold the cup directly making contact with my body.

cuntasaurusrex

heheheheheheehehehehehehehehe labia.

taylorjeanne84

Well now I'm embarassed, but I take my pants off completely! I'm always so scared I'll pee all over myself so I take them all the way off so I can really spread em'!!

knitsandgiggles

I usually just take all of pants/undergarments off, fold them and put them aside, and have perfected the wide stance hover. Works great.

SuperTinkerham

Infertility!!! LOL

 

I smoosh the cup directly to my bits.

SuperTinkerham

Oh and at first I totally thought this was about trying to pass a drug test. Then I remembered the audience.

hgtvmom

Is there a thread of the day award?? I am not sure I have ever laughed/coughed/laughed so hard! I became a professional cup peeer at the age of 10 when my kidneys decided to start hating me. 6 mos of multiple cup pees/week later and I was a pro!

Drop your pants all the way to the ground. Spread those thighs as wide as they will go. Wipe wipe wipe. Pee a squirt, then make contact with that cup. Don't overfill. It's a common mistake and causes spillage. But know that splash will happen and hands are washable.

I just wish my ob's office had a better place for setting the cup while I finish what I gotta finish. The tp holder is rounded on top. The ground is just weird. Back of the throne is too close to hair... Balancing it on a knee can work, as long as the top is on securely. This week, I'm planning on getting my brown paper bag ready to go in advance, dropping the cup in and going for the ground.

A handy place to toss the wipe would be good too. It's not flushable, the trash can is steps away and there is no feminine hygiene product receptacle. Not handy at all!

V1981

You must have a serious stream. Are you getting splash back? I could totally see that happening.

cakebatter27

taylorjeanne84 said:

Well now I'm embarassed, but I take my pants off completely! I'm always so scared I'll pee all over myself so I take them all the way off so I can really spread em'!!

I gotta do this if I'm peeing outside.

youreggoispreggo

My office has a wooden bench right by the toilet and there is an obvious ring from where people have put down their still wet samples. Blech.

TricksyPixie

While we are talking about awkward pee samples, I have to bring first morning urine with me from home in the cup. I don't really feel like just carrying a dang pee cup all the way through the dang hospital, and I can't find any brown bags...what am i supposed to do with the thing? disguise it in a coffee mug?!

RichLab

i take the cup and press up up against myself to create a seal, no spillage there. i set it on the floor, get dressed, put the lid on it, and set it on the lab window.

jamboree jess

when I have to see my ob, I always have to bring a sample of my first pee of the morning. The cup they give you is ridiculously small. It is comparable to a thinner shot glass. Totally impossible to pee into, but I haven't invested in a pee funnel yet, lol.

INmommy871278

Possible solution? (For some reason this post keeps popping up in my fb news feed today)

Myanswer true

cakebatter27 said:

Well now I'm embarassed, but I take my pants off completely! I'm always so scared I'll pee all over myself so I take them all the way off so I can really spread em'!!

I gotta do this if I'm peeing outside.

Years of hunting and hiking have made me the queen of peeing with my pants around my ankles and not getting it on myself. That's come in handy as a pregnant lady. Knees apart!

Salsera29

I love this thread so much :-)

AnAtoZday

Salsera29 said:

I love this thread so much :-)

I do too! Cause it's real life and I feel like a complete idiot when I am in there

LenaLove

I am THE WORST at this.  When POAS I peed into a yogurt container and then dipped.  Those cups are too small.  I always pee all over my hands and somehow manage to get some into the cup.  I even try to make a seal with the cup.  I think my vag is oddly shped or something.  I can't aim. 

hgtvmom

So, for those of you who take your pants and undies off, what about your shoes?? Cause I totally put that cup on the ground and can't promise all the drips are gone... Just sayin...

TricksyPixie

INmommy871278 said:

Possible solution? (For some reason this post keeps popping up in my fb news feed today)

BAHAHAHA I almost peed myself laughing!!! The shewee, oh my GOSH...

alygoo615

Well now I'm embarassed, but I take my pants off completely! I'm always so scared I'll pee all over myself so I take them all the way off so I can really spread em'!!

This had me dying. I just can't imagine actually taking off my pants. Does taking your pants completely off really make that much more of a difference than pulling them around your ankles? I can't imagine it would...

TallMomma29

Ugg... the lab at my hospital has the bathroom door right in front of the waiting room, and you have to walk out of the waiting room with your full pee cup (to the view of every bored person waiting) and then put it in a little bin next to the front desk.  I was so embarrassed the first time that I wrapped it in a paper towel which probably just made me look stupid since everyone there obviously knew what it was ;-)  Next time I'm just giving everyone a thumbs up while holding the cup high and proud ;-)

PenelopeSnuz77

Best thread award. I missed a great day today. So much action!

I definitely go pants on the ground and give my hands a good wash after. There's always splash.

AutumnBonfire

Sit on the can, push your pants down past your knees, open your knees widely so you can see what you're doing, pee a little to see where its coming from, put cup there, then pee more. If you think its bad now, just wait until the third tri when you can't see what you're doing at all. My tip - make sure you don't have long sleeves.

knitsandgiggles

Pup4gdb said:

So, for those of you who take your pants and undies off, what about your shoes?? Cause I totally put that cup on the ground and can't promise all the drips are gone... Just sayin...

I put the cup on the back of the toilet (basin) once it's filled (I put a double layer of paper towel back there.) I always have my TP ready to go when I'm done so I don't have to wrestle with that and that takes care of dripage. Once I get dressed, I toss the paper towels, I wipe the cup outside with one of the sanitizing clothes, and place it in the window.

taylorjeanne84

Pup4gdb said:

So, for those of you who take your pants and undies off, what about your shoes?? Cause I totally put that cup on the ground and can't promise all the drips are gone... Just sayin...

So grossed out even saying this...but I guess that means I've been barefoot in the doctor's office bathroom. Off to get a tetanus shot....

livkight

Just had to say-- I thought of you all yesterday when I did a urine sample...

... and carefully removed ALL my clothes... just in case things got ugly.