Just for fun, stuff your kid(s) have said

JujuB22

My 7 yo dd to my fiance' "How come the pregnant lady is always cooking for YOU" (perfect pitch of sarcasm)

Way to go kiddo, way to go

Caught a glimpse of me getting out of the shower... "Wow your boobs are huge!"   Yes....yes they are thanks.

I'm sure there has to be some real gems out there, kids say the darnedest things.

aravis121

My two-year-old, pointing out a truck very loudly at the crowded train station yesterday: (points) "FFFFFFF$CK!"

Mztwilson

My youngest told her grandma " there's a alien in moms belly." Grandma asked her what his name is and she goes "baby Brodder." She's been obsessed with my belly ever since my dh told her there's a baba stealing alien in there. Everyday she tells me I should go to the doctor to feel better. I asked her if she wanted to feel baby brother and she looked at me horrified and responded nope dats a monster. Haha

Read247

My DS is almost 3. Lately as anything I eat he thinks is his. I was eating a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich this morning and he yells: "that's my Sammy! Put it down! Don't touch!!" Dude, mommy is hungry. Stop stealing all my food!

purtz

We recently transitioned DD to a toddler bed (removed one side of crib). Last night after refusing to go to sleep, she said to me, "Daddy broke my crib." Yes, I guess he did!

Savvy122

I was folding laundry Sunday evening and the laundry bag from the hamper was on the floor.  DS pulled it on over his legs and kept asking if he could do the "mashed potato hop."  It took me a few minutes to realize he wanted to have a potato sack race!  I couldn't stop laughing.  Where the heck did he come up with mashed potato hop??

snowpants

Last night at bedtime DD went through her list of who she loves:

"I vove Daddy!  I vove Mommy!  I vove cake!"

=D>  Bravo kiddo.  There's no doubt you're my daughter.

owlcup

Yesterday after DD woke up in the morning she came out to tell me: "mom, I had a crazy pictures in my eye. Beau (our dog) was stuck in Kitty's (cat) butt and I was trying to really pull him out!" She then proceeded to make grunting noises and pulling motions. I laughed so hard!

Unknown

This content has been removed.

RaisingABuzz

My 4 year old DS is convinced that baby is going to be a girl.  I was explaining to him that we could have another brother and that's ok when he said, "But Mom, 3 naughty boys is too much!!!!"

Though I agree with him...we would be pleased to have another boy.  He's just going to have to stop being naughty!

KeyLime81

Poor DS has witnessed way too much m/s...

The other day, he took a sip of milk and then let it dribble out of his mouth.  He had never done that before, and I wanted to nip the behavior in the bud.  I gave him "the look" and sternly asked "What are you doing?"  He gave me a little grin and simply said, "PUKE!!  Mama puke too!  Dada no puke." I had to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing and I told him we only puke in the bathroom, not at the table.  

MrsRahl

Not my child, but my niece when buckling her in screamed "OUCH YOU'RE PINCHING MY NUT SNACK!!" pahahaha her NUT SNACK!!

Mztwilson

MrsRahl said:

Not my child, but my niece when buckling her in screamed "OUCH YOU'RE PINCHING MY NUT SNACK!!" pahahaha her NUT SNACK!!

Hahahahahaha

lellymine

No kids yet but my neighbor took her 5 yr old out Christmas shopping and had to use the restroom. It was packed in there so they shared a stall. When my neighbor sat down her DD yelled out "mom! I see where the baby came out of you!!" My neighbor was mortified and had to say just as loudly "yes! You see my c section scar". I'm so looking forward to being totally embarrassed by my child.

Read247

This cracked me up. Funniest mean notes written by kids.

https://distractify.com/fun/fails/the-30-funniest-notes-from-kids-struggling-to-express-their-emotions/