LO is afraid of her room.

vintagejjane

We stopped full time cosleeping at 8 months. We've always done part time cosleeping afterwards. I never minded her waking up in the middle of the night as I would just bring her into bed and nurse her. She did great through out out of state move and was a champ and sleeping in her own room. But now at 19 months, I have no idea what in the world happened. She refuses to be in her room. She is legit scared of it. I don't know what she heard, or if something happened, but I know she won't even play by herself in there anymore. I've tried everything. Crib mattress on the floor, taking off the front of her crib so she can get in and out by herself, putting her bed in our room, I mean really everything. For well over a month now, she will only sleep with us in our bed now. She was going from maybe waking up 1 or 2 times to nurse each night to 5 or sometimes even 6 times every night. We move again in a couple weeks and I'm at a loss for what to do when we finally get in the house to make her room at the new house less scary. Buy her a new bigger bed? Keep her in her crib? Advice? Anyone else go through something similar?

ReeceFamily

Can she tell you what she is afraid of? Just sleeping alone or is she afraid of her room in particular? Have you tried sleeping in her room with her to see if you can pinpoint anything?

This might seem weird but my sister grew up "seeing things" in her room and no one would believe her or help her, it was very traumatic for her. I decided to be very open as a parent to the fact that children just may see things we can't.

vintagejjane

I think she is afraid of her room and being by herself in there. She is fine playing in there if we are with her, but the second we walk out its a nightmare. I mean she could have heard something, we do live in an apartment complex right now and on the first floor, next to the dog park so I mean I guess that could be it. I never thought of her seein anything. I'm not completely against that idea and I wouldn't rule that out.

ReeceFamily

I guess for me the key is to let the child know you are listening and taking their fears seriously (not ridiculing them); let them know you are there to support them; and empower the child to confront their fears - they are not helpless and have lots of inner courage and resources. It really doesn't matter whether the "monsters" are real or fake, because I'm sure it's very real to them. 

A few ideas for empowering them (not sure what is appropriate for a 19 month old):  teach them a protective prayer (if you are a person of faith); give them a stuffed toy that is their "protector" (or even a real pet); arm them with a "love gun" (made from a toilet roll or something) that they can shoot love at to dissolve the monster.  I lived alone for many years and sometimes got spooked at night.  I would always envision a bright, warm, protective bubble of light around me...and it worked wonders.  I am going to pass this skill on to DD!  Might be a little too New Age-y for some, but the power of the imagination is an awesome fear fighter.

Emerald27

I read something the other day that suggested going to your child's room and staying there with them when they're afraid instead of bringing them into your room. The idea was that if they're afraid of their room (or the dark, etc.), bringing them into your room gives the impression that they are not safe in their own room. But if you go to their room and show them that it's a nice place to be (and that you like it and want to be there too!), they can be reassured.

I don't know if that's true or not, but I thought it was interesting.

So my thought would be, can you put a bed in her room in which you (or DH) and she fit comfortably, so that you can lay with her as she goes to sleep, and come stay with her if she becomes afraid during the night?

In your new home, could she help decorate it? I know she's so little, but you could show her, for example, a purple and a pink paint chip, and let her decide which color to paint the walls? You can let her pick out sheets for her new big girl bed, and brighten her room with fun lights and wall art/decals.

DS has a fort in his room (which is for now a playroom because he sleeps in a twin bed in our room), and today as I was putting away Christmas decorations, I decided to keep out a strand of white lights. I strung them around the top of his fort, and it really lit the room and he loved it! Maybe adding some fun elements to her room will help too.

This must be so frustrating. If nothing else, time and lots of snuggles in her room will cute all. And a new room sounds like a fresh start! Good luck!

vintagejjane

Those are some great ideas @Emerald27 ! Thanks!