OMG. I didn't think it could get worse.

beachy6

After my post on Friday about my coworker, I seriously didn't think the weekend would get worse. Well, I just found out that my SIL is pregnant. She has been married since October and trying to get pregnant for ONE ******* MONTH. She is 36, older than I am.

I just knew this would happen. I feel like a complete B ---- for feeling this way, but I clearly have no control over my emotions. And, DH sent me a text to tell me. Seriously? Although it's probably better because he didn't see my instant ugly cry. I'm trying to hang onto the thought that I will finally be an aunt, but that is overshadowed by stupid infertile feelings. Now I have to listen to my MIL go on and on and on and on about it. I just cannot do it. It's like a down to my soul pain. I feel so dramatic.

For those of you who have been through this with a close family member, does it get more tolerable? I think I need Xanax. Or a bottle of wine. Or beer. Or a sleeping pill that will let me sleep through the next 9 months.

Momarazzi007

Hey, first time in this board- but IVFer and total 7years trying and from my experience- never gets easier with the ones who get BFP after first try. I'm so sorry my brother and his wife got their BFP after a month too. They are divorced now too, so pregnancy lasted longer than marriage and dh and I have been married 10 years almost? Yeah, not easy, but keep your head high and stay strong. Hugs!

hmz819

I'm so sorry! I'm going through this same thing. My SIL and sis both announced on the same weekend. It was the worst weekend of my life. So far it hasn't gotten easier for me. I'm so sorry you have to go through this too

Irishlove16

Ugh I'm so sorry hun!! That's a punch in the gut! It's never easy. My close friend from hs and college both just hot pregnant on their 2nd month of trying. One literally just got married and got pregnant two months after. And she's not one who is sensitive to me and what I'm going through when she talks and shares all her happy stories about her pregnancy! Then of course I miscarried shortly after she announced. Ugh. Well I can say being an aunt is amazing!! I love every minute of it. I have 4 neices and 1 nephew and they def help me through all of this and bring me joy! That's why working at the daycare with them bring there really helps me out. You will love being an aunt so try to just focus on that!

luvboston

i am so sorry you had to go through that. Something like this happened to me but a little worse and i have never gotten over it and cannot stand to hear the childs name or know anything about it because it constantly reminds me that I lost my first LO. And I told everyone not to ever tell me if they are pregnant again because they might find me hanging from the nearest lamppost.

Then my fing mother in law told me that DH's cousin who is not married and smokes and drinks got pg with her long time boyfriend 1st week trying stab me with a knife.

Maybe because you will be an aunt it will be better but DO NOT go to see it the day its born that was like tearing my soul out.

Km672

I'm so sorry Beachy.

These are hard circumstances... I can't even imagine.

beachy6

Thank you ladies. I think I'm slowly getting excited about finally becoming an aunt. My SIL lives in Texas and I'm in Ohio, so I think not seeing her get bigger will be helpful. I'm not sure what we'll do about meeting the baby because of the distance. We have months to figure that out.

I just have to figure out how to handle my MIL. I just need to tell her what I can and can't discuss. Most days, it will be nothing. She just has to be okay with that or I won't visit her. End of story.

I took the high road after I sobered up and called my SIL to congratulate her. Seriously, it was apparent that because of infertility, I know what too much about being/getting pregnant and it must not be normal. Who knew? First, she is only 5 weeks and hasn't been to the doctor yet and is already telling people. It took everything I had in me to not lecture her about m/c risk and why she shouldn't be telling people this early. Stupid miscarriage f'd me up, I guess. AND, she thinks the websites are all wrong because they are counting the start of her pregnancy from her LMP. Sweet Lord. Is she for real? Are people really that stupid or are we just too in the know because of IF? Weird.

beachy6

Thank you ladies. I think I'm slowly getting excited about finally becoming an aunt. My SIL lives in Texas and I'm in Ohio, so I think not seeing her get bigger will be helpful. I'm not sure what we'll do about meeting the baby because of the distance. We have months to figure that out.

I just have to figure out how to handle my MIL. I just need to tell her what I can and can't discuss. Most days, it will be nothing. She just has to be okay with that or I won't visit her. End of story.

I took the high road after I sobered up and called my SIL to congratulate her. Seriously, it was apparent that because of infertility, I know what too much about being/getting pregnant and it must not be normal. Who knew? First, she is only 5 weeks and hasn't been to the doctor yet and is already telling people. It took everything I had in me to not lecture her about m/c risk and why she shouldn't be telling people this early. Stupid miscarriage f'd me up, I guess. AND, she thinks the websites are all wrong because they are counting the start of her pregnancy from her LMP. Sweet Lord. Is she for real? Are people really that stupid or are we just too in the know because of IF? Weird.

kflynn81

beachy6 said:

Thank you ladies. I think I'm slowly getting excited about finally becoming an aunt. My SIL lives in Texas and I'm in Ohio, so I think not seeing her get bigger will be helpful. I'm not sure what we'll do about meeting the baby because of the distance. We have months to figure that out.

I just have to figure out how to handle my MIL. I just need to tell her what I can and can't discuss. Most days, it will be nothing. She just has to be okay with that or I won't visit her. End of story.

I took the high road after I sobered up and called my SIL to congratulate her. Seriously, it was apparent that because of infertility, I know what too much about being/getting pregnant and it must not be normal. Who knew? First, she is only 5 weeks and hasn't been to the doctor yet and is already telling people. It took everything I had in me to not lecture her about m/c risk and why she shouldn't be telling people this early. Stupid miscarriage f'd me up, I guess. AND, she thinks the websites are all wrong because they are counting the start of her pregnancy from her LMP. Sweet Lord. Is she for real? Are people really that stupid or are we just too in the know because of IF? Weird.

I've wondered that myself sometimes. I think we've been in this game for so long, we start just assuming certain things are common knowledge. I get upset when people ask what I deem are "stupid questions" and then have to realize they haven't spent the last three years Googling all about their stupid question like I have, LOL

Stillharbor

Ah, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I totally understand. We had been TTC for a year and a half and my LITTLE sister calls with her BFP TWICE!!! After stopping BC for less than a month. Well, I kept it together long enough to congratulate her, it as soon as we hung up, I fell apart. As much as I wanted to be happy for her, all I could think about was what about me. Why the hell was it so hard for us? I want to tell you it gets easier, but it doesn't. There will be days when it won't bother you as much and days when the mere thought will leave you crying into your pillow. I encourage you to not let the bad days taint your hopes or the time you spend with family.

beachy6

@kflynn81 Sometimes when people ask questions, I stare at them with my mouth hanging open until I realize the same thing! Hey, knowledge is power, right?!