Preemie NICU Twins

JuliaAndPete

My daughters were given half formula, half breast milk feeds for the first time tonight.

They are 4.5 weeks old. Too small to latch. My production is not great. They seem to be digesting it ok. So far so good. One nurse told me it takes a few days to really see bad effects if there will be any.

I feel... relieved? To not feel pressured to produce so much... ?


Am I a terrible mom?

opheliainwaders

Oh, honey. You are not a bad mom! Pumping in the hospital is so hard, and you have been doing an amazing job feeding twins. You're dealing with a whole host of things most of us never even have to consider. It sounds from your post that you've EP'd for more than a month, which is amazing! Trust me, your girls will know how much you love them, regardless of what they eat.

JuliaAndPete

Thanks ladies.

I had never planned to breast feed at all. I am hoping they are on formula by the time they come home. I can't do this. I own two businesses with my husband. I feel like we have four children.

I agreed to pump because I knew they were going to be preemies. I know that what they get from breast milk is crucial and doesn't compare to formula especially for preemies. And this is where the guilt sets in.

I asked the nurses, drs, & LC's if, as long as they're getting some breast milk with the formula, they're still getting the crucial nutrients. They all said yes and they're all very understanding.

Do you all agree with that statement?

You all are my last confirmation for this question and I'll let the guilt go and continue to do my best for as long as I can.

opheliainwaders

Ok, so I am a very pro- breastfeeding person in general, and it is true that they are getting nutrition from you that they can't get from formula. I love feeding my daughter, and I would be sad to lose that part of our relationship. However! I hate the pump (I EP'd and supplemented briefly when we were trying to teach DD to nurse, and pump at work now), and I understand how much it feels like every waking moment is spent just trying to keep up, without the physical closeness that makes me love BFing.

You sound a little desperate, and if your intention is to formula-feed, maybe it makes sense to set a shorter-term goal - maybe say you'll pump until their due date, or you'll pump enough to give them half BM. I say this because it doesn't sound like maintaining supply long-term is something you're interested in, but I agree that whatever BM you can give them is really great.

Listen to the doctors and the LCs, and be gentle with yourself, whatever you decide. You're doing the best you can, truly, even if that means some formula.

kjsmith9

You're doing a great job - any breast milk is better than none!

If they're still too small to latch at 4.5 weeks, I assume they were very tiny at birth.... Do they qualify for donor milk?  If you're really concerned about them getting the benefits of breast milk, that should be an option, right?  At least until they're a certain age...

JuliaAndPete

Eve Marie was born at 1lb 4oz. She's now 2lbs 4oz but still on some respiratory support. Eleanor Anne was born at 2lbs 5oz and is now 3lbs 3oz also on respiratory support but minimal.

I think my plan is going to be to just pump as much as I can and give them as much as I can until I know they're going home (which will be full term). Thanks everyone.