Photographing baby and family

kuipogirl

Hi, I first want to say that I am so sorry for your losses and my heart breaks for you and your families. I hope I am being sensitive in writing this on this board: My husband's coworker just found out their baby's heart stopped beating. She was 36 weeks along. They are in the process of inducing her right now. I am a hobbyist photographer but wanted to offer my services if it is something they want. I have heard of this before when a baby passes and I realize some people want pictures and some people don't and some just want to get their own photos and others would rather someone else take them but how can I bring this up tactfully and respectfully? My heart is just breaking and I want to be able to provide something for them to be able to cherish when they are ready if I can but I don't want it to seem weird or painful to try and bring it up. Did any of you bring in a photographer when your baby was born?

Noethola

I would approach it by letting them know of this organization: Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. They are professional photographers that volunteer time to go in after a birth and take pictures of the baby and family. You can check it out here: www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ 

You can then offer your services. However, I would caution you. This is going to be a VERY hard task if you take it on. You will never see such raw emotions and grief as you do in the hospital room of a baby who was just delivered sleeping. If you do not think you would be up for it emotionally, I suggest you not offer your own services. The last thing the family needs is to be comforting you. 

The photographer that came in from NILMDTS in our case barely said anything. She asked if there were certain family photos we wanted and if it would be ok for her to position the baby. I don't remember her saying another word other than getting our information. She then sent us a disc about 8 weeks later (which is on the long side to wait.)

Generally the hospital will take some if NILMDTS has not been called in and send the memory card home with the family to view if they wish to. We also took our own cameras and cherish the pictures we have. Not all families are able to handle pictures, but others are. 

Your heart is in a beautiful place, just approach it in the way you have. Letting them know you wish to be respectful to what they may wish. 

kuipogirl

Thank you so much for your reply. Thank you for reminding me of the service provided by Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. I had heard of them but had forgotten about them so thank you! I will certainly send along their information. 

I am aware that it would be incredibly difficult and you brought up a good point of not wanting the family to have to comfort me. I actually am a social worker and have seen and been a part of terrible circumstances including infant loss and so have experience and training on how to handle myself in these type of situations although this hits closer to home as these are people I know and not just clients. Thank you again for taking them time to reply and I am so sorry for your loss.