I feel dumb

apollonia10

Three years ago I had a miscarriage on my birthday. I was supposed to go out with my family that night, but we had to cancel and tell them why (I had planned on telling them I was pregnant at dinner). I got a million phone calls and visits and FB messages from people once the news spread, and I just wanted to be alone. I know they were being sweet and supportive but it was not a good time for me.

Now, even though I've got DS and my current pregnancy is well past when I had the miscarriage last time, I find myself wanting very little attention for my birthday, which is later this month. I just want to have a nice night with DH and be done with it, but in my family birthdays are a BIG DEAL and they don't get it. I feel like such an ass when people just want to be nice.

ThePinkSuperhero

Sounds annoying!  Sorry.  Hope you can have your own nice celebration!

snickersforeveryone

I get what you are saying. I lost my LO around my birthday too, the same night we went out to celebrate with DH's parents and told them I was pregnant. I wore a dress I loved and had only worn once. I had to get rid of the dress because every time I saw it I thought of that night. My mom saw I was getting rid of it when I loaded things up for goodwill and started asking all kinds of questions about why I wouldn't keep it. I finally had to tell her why, and she felt horrible. It never crossed her mind that I had bad associations with that dress.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should speak up. As PP mentioned, it may not occur to them how sensitive this situation is for you. Maybe pull aside one family member you trust to explain it to, then they can deal with things for you.
((Hugs)) I'm sorry you had to go through that and I hope you can have the more mellow celebration you want.

KarmB

July 12th, I think about the pregnancy I lost, 12 years later. its natural.

sarahandeddiejune212008

I had my d&c the day before my birthday. It has never been the same. I also prefer something small. It's hard to be happy when you're thinking about something so terrible. Hugs to you!