UO

ColieAnn31

I love the TOATs!! It's a nice place for random thoughts and it gives me something to read in the mornings

mrskait13

Yet another reason I don't vent on this board... I obviously have SO MUCH support.

 

Don't take this the wrong way. but maybe if you showed your life isnt all perfect sunshine and rainbows people would want to support you? All they see if this girl who talks about how perfect her life is all the time.

NicoleReed0324

nykkolaughs said:

Yet another reason I don't vent on this board... I obviously have SO MUCH support.

I get what you were saying. You were very clear, you were just saying what you try to keep in mind when you are going through something difficult. I think it's sweet. And I would like to be more like that. It's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture on little sleep and crazy hormones.

mrskait13

nykkolaughs said:

mrskait13 said:

Yet another reason I don't vent on this board... I obviously have SO MUCH support.

 

Don't take this the wrong way. but maybe if you showed your life isnt all perfect sunshine and rainbows people would want to support you? All they see if this girl who talks about how perfect her life is all the time.

But, where do I say I have a perfect child, perfect husband, perfect life?

...This is obviously a loaded question. If I answered you would respond back with "Not uh!" just like anyone would if they felt like they were backed into a corner. I am not going to kick you why you are down. sorry. I was simply stating what I have observed.

That being said. if you do have stuff to vent about, this board is here to support that. When that person commented nasty things about E, we all showed we cared. We have shown we ARE here to support you. You just have to be willing to lean on us for that support.

This is something I struggle with myself. I take a lot of my own issues and deal with them myself. (and eventually freak out because It's a lot to deal with) It's not healthy. I know this and it's a hard cycle to break from.

CindyRelluh

I created TTOAT for those things. For us to get to know each other, and to have somewhere to go to have a gif war when you're up in the MOTN.

@kellenhi21 I agree!

I love Vegas, and football, and I complain about my H because complaining to my neighbors or toddler just isn't helpful. I don't have a perfect life, but I'm a fantastic mom. DS wakes up occasionally, and sometimes I give up trying to soothe and I feed him at 4 am! Shit happens, it's OK to be a bit vulnerable.

@nykkolaughs I think part of the issue is that sometimes you come across as thinking you're better than some of us. Is that the case? Who knows. You don't give much away, when a lot of us are showing our weaknesses and taking comfort in knowing there are more of us going through the same crap. Everyone has their things.

kelly422

Sleep posts don't really bother me. I just ignore them when I don't need them and read them when I do. I've never been to Vegas. I think home births are scary and SUPER dangerous. I took care of a baby with a hypoxic injury after a home birth and she would have been fine if she were born in the hospital. I don't think it's a big deal that @nykkolaughs doesn't "complain" on here. I don't think she's ever come off as sounding like her life is perfect and she doesn't have any problems. Some people choose to vent and others don't, no big deal.

PinkPuffyHeart2

NicoleReed0324 said:

Lizzybizzy80 said:

My UO, I don't like to complain about DH, on TB and in real life. He's pretty awesome most of the time and I like to think that I am too. I would be hurt if he went online and complained about me when I wasn't being awesome.

If my DH put it out there that I was being a real bitch that day it would probably be true but would make me feel awful if I found out about it.

I have guilt about this often. I feel like I only post about my husband when he's being an ass. But he's actually very sweet and I love him so much. On the flip side it's nice to have a place to vent though because I hate doing it to our friends and my mom who know him IRL.

I complain abt my h and feel guilty about it all the dang time. In the beginning of our relationship I let a lot slide because of his heart condition. I dont know how many years I will have him around so I tried really hard not to keep grudges and just to love him and let things go. But things have built up and I feel like I can't keep excusing his behavior. especially with a baby now. Time to grow up. I would feel like crap if he talked about me like I talk about him too but I complain to his face too so it wouldn't be a secret if he did read my posts. Also, just for the record, this man is my WORLD. No matter how lazy and annoying he is... I love him like I've never loved anyone and he does the same for me. No doubt he is the right man for me- nobody is perfect!

RissNRuss

@kdc2007 I love you. And you definitely have your profession's way with words
:P

PinkPuffyHeart2

subliminalrabbit said:

@nykkolaughs has been very clear that her life isn't perfect.  She's been through some serious shit.  If she's not comfortable sharing current issues and commiserating with us, that's her perogative.  But we do all have the right to do so ourselves!

I have to agree with this. I understand where people are coming from but she has shared about her struggles too. In the end, free country, we can say what we want. That goes for good or bad stuff.

Monkeybutt80

I HAVE A PERFECT BABY, A PERFECT HUSBAND AND A PERFECT LIFE!!!!

except my baby is a teething monster who wants to take my nipple off, my husband acts like a jackass every other day and my life is just an endless cycle of work and baby duty. 

megaroo64

re: Home birth- a BIG reason that was immediately crossed off of the list of options for us is, seriously... who wants to clean up that mess!  

PinkPuffyHeart2

megaroo64 said:

re: Home birth- a BIG reason that was immediately crossed off of the list of options for us is, seriously... who wants to clean up that mess!  

Yes. thank you.

kelly422

NurseMommy13 said:

There are still serious risks and I still wouldn't consider it safe, no matter what training your midwife has. What happens if that baby comes out blue and floppy? And at the same time mom goes into cardiac arrest because of an underlying heart condition. Or starts to bleed out from a PP hemorrhage? I've seen both in the hospital setting and they are acary enough there. I could not imagine being at home with no professional care. A midwife isn't going to suffice in times like that.

Agreed! Midwives (no matter how good their training is) do not have the capability of intubating a baby if there is a problem, giving medications, doing chest compressions all at the same time. AND what if the mom is having problems, too. The midwife is only one person. At a hospital, there are supplies, resources, and extra hands to help.

RissNRuss

@nykkolaughs You may not say those exact things, but you are often exuberantly positive and it comes across as either "perfect life" or "horrible life hidden behind a happy facade". Not saying either of those are true, but there are a lot of women here who need a safe place to vent. I cannot say a negative about my husband in front of certain friends/family, because they won't let it go ever and will constantly bring it up. I try to portray positives, but I'm not against occasionally sharing a struggle or frustration. Who knows- that could be the experience someone else has had and solved and can help me with a resolution.
And yes, we all have seen your struggles here with that wacko AE and such, but again, those tend to reference times past (pre-E). It's possible to show a balance. And even if you'd rather not share negatives (like several of my fav bumpies on this board) you don't have to be negative about those that do. PPD can happen up to a year post-birth. And "every person you meet is fighting a harder battle".

Basically tl:dr - my point is if you don't like it, don't read it. Move on and let it go. Or post about it an UO and realize it's probably unpopular
<:-P

Lizzybizzy80

I'm really glad my LO can't post stuff about me. "Gah, why won't DM let me yank her hair out?! If she doesn't like it she should put her hair up."

"Oh, spicy BM again? Mexican for lunch? Thanks bunches."

kelly422

zigspective said:

I know you probably aren't asking for an actual answer but this is why there are two midwives that attend every birth. One for mom and one for baby. So one can be intubating and providing oxygen for the infant while the other performs rescue operations on the mother. And they can also administer pitocin should there be a hemorrhage.

What if the baby needs both oxygen, intubation, AND chest compressions at the same time? Seen it happen MANY times.

peachnectarine

What about when a couple of months ago, a bunch of posters said that they hated the posts where people complained about their MILs? Isn't that like nykkolaughs saying she doesn't like sleep posts? Why is one okay and not the other?

tiffletons518

CatalinaPink said:

I think it's weird that people leave their shoes on inside.

YES! Every time I'm watching a tv show or movie and the people are walking around their house in shoes it makes me crazy. Who does that?! You're at home. Take your fancy heels off and relax sheesh.

GraceInCA

I love Vegas. I didn't realize so many people didn't. I gamble some, but mostly I go because I love the amazing food, the shows, relaxing by the world class pools, and shopping. I will admit that we always stay at Venetian/Palazzo, Bellagio, or Wynn, so I don't think the experience is the same at other places. I didn't even like the rooms at the Cosmopolitan that much (although the casino was decent and there are some good restaurants there). I think the experience really differs depending on where you are.

GraceInCA

My other OU is that while I think some reasonable "my husband was a doofus this morning" venting is fine, I've noticed some people are married to assholes and they have bigger problems than just a guy being a jerk once in a while, but either they don't realize it or don't want to publicly admit it. I stop feeling sorry for those people at some point. What's worse are the women who seem to have perfectly nice husbands but they nag and peck and treat the guy like shit. I've seen that here too, although not very recently. So yeah, once in a while I do fall into that "I feel sorry for your husband" Bump joke, but have never posted it.

Happens in real life too. I have a school friend who treated her husband like absolute crap, and when he told her he wanted a divorce no one was surprised.

riansmommie

I love Vegas!!! So much so that I got married there and did my honeymoon there . So much to do and see and all within walking distance if you stay on the strip. I think I also love it because my dad lives there so when we go we save money by staying with my dad most of the time and only getting a hotel room for a couple nights

JANCANDANCE

Love Love Love Vegas! Honeymooned there! Bahahahah! I was 10 weeks pregnant buzzkill. But I have been on my birthday every year since I was 26. Not last year though. ETA: you can totes see my bump!

DaisyDuck40

I am not a fan of the color gray.... (it seems to be a popular color on this board).

KellenHi21

kari5186 said:

NurseMommy13 said:

zigspective said:

I think this comes down to location but home birth is safe IF your midwife is properly trained.

The idea that you would have a midwife who couldn't do anything if a baby came out blue and floppy is completely dangerous. However here midwives are well trained and would have no issue providing oxygen and intubation while the child was transported.

The issue in the states is that midwives often aren't well trained and some of the certifications are a joke.

There are still serious risks and I still wouldn't consider it safe, no matter what training your midwife has. What happens if that baby comes out blue and floppy? And at the same time mom goes into cardiac arrest because of an underlying heart condition. Or starts to bleed out from a PP hemorrhage? I've seen both in the hospital setting and they are acary enough there. I could not imagine being at home with no professional care. A midwife isn't going to suffice in times like that.

I think a certified nurse midwife in a hospital is the best if both worlds. Of course, I could be biased since that's exactly how I delivered.

I wanted a MW, DH wanted me to deliver in a state of the art hospital in a hallway between the ICU and NICU with the worlds leading medical professionals on hand. I'm glad we found our compromise haha.

I had a mw in hospital as well and loved my experience!

JANCANDANCE

I love gray. But only bc black is my fav color and gray seems less aggressive.

GraceInCA

JANCANDANCE said:

Love Love Love Vegas! Honeymooned there! Bahahahah! I was 10 weeks pregnant buzzkill. But I have been on my birthday every year since I was 26. Not last year though. ETA: you can totes see my bump!

It's really sad that I can spot the Wynn Casino in your picture just from the carpet.  I spend way too much time there.

llbta85

I would gather that I am one of the ones that is married to a real asshole and has bigger problems.  Yup I know I have serious issues with my marriage.  I am trying to figure out how the hell to make everything work.  I can't vent to my family because they would forever hold it against him.  I can't vent to my BFF because she is going through a wretched divorce and has enough to worry about.  So yes I come on here to vent, but I also know that I have serious issues that need to be dealt with.  I am trying to get into counseling I am trying to talk things out with my husband.  But sometimes I need to vent to just get through the day and face it all when I get home without having a complete meltdown.  Trust me I wish I didn't vent about him.

WasNotWas

Real quick:
I love Vegas and plan on seeing
Britney while she is there.

I tend to only post positive, because when I open up I am flooded with support and it's overwhelming. TB really has some of the best women I have ever met (here and on Parenting)

Coffee is gross, so is tea...diet coke FTW

I could never do a home birth because there is no room in my house that I think is clean enough

My OU: I don't think our LOs are ready to sleep all the way through the night yet. I am happy to have at least 1 wake up until 9 months. I know it's more of a developmental think than an age thing, but that's my UO

CindyRelluh

@catalinapink OMG I seriously say this to h every day! I'm like how can you be comfortable watching tv on the couch in shoes?! Strange. I hate shoes.

JANCANDANCE

That's the way to go Carolyn! Great minds! btw I'm done AW/PW for the day!

BLT20051

JANCANDANCE said:

Love Love Love Vegas! Honeymooned there! Bahahahah! I was 10 weeks pregnant buzzkill. But I have been on my birthday every year since I was 26. Not last year though. ETA: you can totes see my bump!

Your butt bump.

riansmommie

Vegas baby!! Day before I got married

JANCANDANCE

Vegas pics FTW!

chelsmcl

I love Vegas and I hate gambling, there's so much more to do there than just gamble.

GraceInCA

CL8badB said:

I wish i knew that you could take pics in the casino the first time that i went. My friends sat down and played black jack with JayZ.

You can't take pictures of a gaming table, sadly.

kelly422

zigspective said:

I'm pretty sure a lay person could handle pressing the bag if this catastrophic situation went down... Well at least until the aliens came.

Oh, Lord...really? I'm saying this from experience and not exaggerating. It happens more times than you actually realize. Yes, MOST go well without any complications, but many of us have heard stories and know someone who it has not gone well. Not worth that risk IMO. (Oh, and to get technical, it's not just "pressing the bag". If you "press" too little, the baby may not get enough oxygen but if you "press" too hard, you can easily give the baby a pneumothorax. Just like Goldilocks! But what do I know...)

GraceInCA

double post

GraceInCA

The home birth statistics that you hear from home birth advocacy groups are totally off.  They don't include the number of women who had to be rushed to the hospital where they ended up giving birth, and they often even exclude a large number who had postpartum complications. Many women don't realize that just because you're in a hospital doesn't mean you are automatically subjected to a million unnecessary interventions.  I briefly had an IV port in my hand but hated it, so I made them remove it. It's not that complicated.

I gave birth with midwives in a hospital. It felt like the best of both worlds. 

Ballet513

kelly422 said:

zigspective said:

I know you probably aren't asking for an actual answer but this is why there are two midwives that attend every birth. One for mom and one for baby. So one can be intubating and providing oxygen for the infant while the other performs rescue operations on the mother. And they can also administer pitocin should there be a hemorrhage.

What if the baby needs both oxygen, intubation, AND chest compressions at the same time? Seen it happen MANY times.

Totally agee. If I had had a home birth my LO and I would be dead. I had a very typical low risk pregnancy and delivery was a shit show. Anything can happen. Having an extra midwife and pitocin wouldn't have helped.

RissNRuss

I have no problem with homebirth as long as you have someone there who would be prepared to handle an emergency. There was a story recently about a woman with two emergency birth situations (one in hospital, one at home) who chose to have her third baby at home without any medical-type personnel. The cord was around the baby's neck and the baby died. I'd never forgive myself for that.

That being said, between the mess and all, it's not for me. Plus, it was comforting that a top level NICU was attached to our maternity ward when A needed extra care.