New dad and Im trying to not lose my mind.... - Page 2 — The Bump
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New dad and Im trying to not lose my mind....

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Re: New dad and Im trying to not lose my mind....

  • @Ratpasta

    I was feeling suffocated last week.  In my house, the long winter is really starting to take its tool, and my mind has been in florida for three weeks already, even though we don't leave for another week.  Between myself, the wife and the boy, sometimes we just look at each other like we are sick of looking at each other.

    And then the last few days it has gotten better.  Even though I was up at 5:45 this morning, snow blowing through drifts and wind in 15 degree weather for the coutless time this winter, I feel lucky to have what I have at this point in my life.

    Sometimes life just plan sucks.  Work can be total bullshit, home life can be total bullshit, both can be fucked up at the same time even!  But then it turns around at some point, and through the haze I can see that it is all worth it.

    The ebbs and flows of life are a real motherfucker sometimes.  All we can do is shake it off and get back in there.

    image

  • at this point I should be thanking my lucky stars that I live in a place where I dont have to deal with actual cold.....
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    LuckyDad
  • Loading the player...
  • 10 inches of snow and -17 windshield right now where I'm at. Streets got plowed though.

    As to your semi-update. All you can do is stick-up for your wife and let her know you're on her side. Next time tell them the baby is crying because he doesn't like his Aunts.

     

     

  • polooo27 said:

    10 inches of snow and -17 windshield right now where I'm at. Streets got plowed though.

    As to your semi-update. All you can do is stick-up for your wife and let her know you're on her side. Next time tell them the baby is crying because he doesn't like his Aunts.


    ha.... ill have to try that as Im actually in the family now and I get a say at certain things.

        and - 17 is chilly.  You would laugh your ass off - around here when it dips into the 60's, the heavy coats, scarves and uggs come out for nearly all women.
    image
  • @Ratpasta

    Fuck culture.  Next time those females start tripping on your wife, Shout out loud, for the world to hear, that you have the, "greatest wife in the world, and she is the best mother I know."

    Babies cry, and 1.2.3 seconds later they are laughing at a dust bunny under the stove or something stupid like that.  Tell the aunts to STFU!  I do not hesitate to check people in our families who start digging into my wife over her mothering skills or her wife skills.  No patience for that at all.

    image

  • @Ratpasta

    Fuck culture.  Next time those females start tripping on your wife, Shout out loud, for the world to hear, that you have the, "greatest wife in the world, and she is the best mother I know."

    Babies cry, and 1.2.3 seconds later they are laughing at a dust bunny under the stove or something stupid like that.  Tell the aunts to STFU!  I do not hesitate to check people in our families who start digging into my wife over her mothering skills or her wife skills.  No patience for that at all.

    part of the problem is that they're speaking in Vietnamese, so I have no idea what they are saying but after having spent two months over there and countless days with her family, I have a pretty good idea of what they are inferring.  Wifey usually wont tell me exactly what they said - just the jist.
        Basically what's going to happen is that we are going to start going to less and less family functions
    image

  • Ratpasta said:
    at this point I should be thanking my lucky stars that I live in a place where I dont have to deal with actual cold.....
    Sunshine high five!

    I grew up with actual cold, so I did my time.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • LuckyDad said:

    Ratpasta said:
    at this point I should be thanking my lucky stars that I live in a place where I dont have to deal with actual cold.....
    Sunshine high five!

    I grew up with actual cold, so I did my time.
    I didnt.  Im just spoiled.  But I understand that Im spoiled.

    our house is four blocks from here - not that i ever get to see it

    image
    image
  • Ratpasta said:

    @Ratpasta

    Fuck culture.  Next time those females start tripping on your wife, Shout out loud, for the world to hear, that you have the, "greatest wife in the world, and she is the best mother I know."

    Babies cry, and 1.2.3 seconds later they are laughing at a dust bunny under the stove or something stupid like that.  Tell the aunts to STFU!  I do not hesitate to check people in our families who start digging into my wife over her mothering skills or her wife skills.  No patience for that at all.

    part of the problem is that they're speaking in Vietnamese, so I have no idea what they are saying but after having spent two months over there and countless days with her family, I have a pretty good idea of what they are inferring.  Wifey usually wont tell me exactly what they said - just the jist.
        Basically what's going to happen is that we are going to start going to less and less family functions

    Man, if you're traveling just to not have a good time I just wouldn't go anymore. Is there any family that is actually nice to your wife? What kind of obligation do you have in going? Do any other women have babies? Do they treat everyone like that or is your wife singled out?
  • Ratpasta said:
    LuckyDad said:

    Ratpasta said:
    at this point I should be thanking my lucky stars that I live in a place where I dont have to deal with actual cold.....
    Sunshine high five!

    I grew up with actual cold, so I did my time.
    I didnt.  Im just spoiled.  But I understand that Im spoiled.

    our house is four blocks from here - not that i ever get to see it

    image


    That's a nice view.

    image

    LuckyDad
  • polooo27 said:
    Ratpasta said:

    @Ratpasta

    Fuck culture.  Next time those females start tripping on your wife, Shout out loud, for the world to hear, that you have the, "greatest wife in the world, and she is the best mother I know."

    Babies cry, and 1.2.3 seconds later they are laughing at a dust bunny under the stove or something stupid like that.  Tell the aunts to STFU!  I do not hesitate to check people in our families who start digging into my wife over her mothering skills or her wife skills.  No patience for that at all.

    part of the problem is that they're speaking in Vietnamese, so I have no idea what they are saying but after having spent two months over there and countless days with her family, I have a pretty good idea of what they are inferring.  Wifey usually wont tell me exactly what they said - just the jist.
        Basically what's going to happen is that we are going to start going to less and less family functions

    Man, if you're traveling just to not have a good time I just wouldn't go anymore. Is there any family that is actually nice to your wife? What kind of obligation do you have in going? Do any other women have babies? Do they treat everyone like that or is your wife singled out?
    there are other babies around but they are always more well behaved.
         My wife is strange - in her family she is kind of like a target. 
     She isn't skinny as a twig like most of the girls in her family (which I actually prefer), she's not as "pretty" which just means she doesnt wear 5 pounds of makeup (which I prefer), we're not "successful" which just means that my wife doesn't wear tons of jewlry (which I prefer) and she didnt marry a Asian banker with a BMW.  We wear jeans and T shirts - like normal people and dont brag and flaunt.
         Vietnamese culture is strange - people love to openly flaunt things.  One of her aunts buys 2 carat diamond ear rings and she is showing them off at a party while she is having her house foreclosed on.  So who knows.
       I dont really care, personally what they think of us but it effects my wife - so yes, we will probably see a lot less of the family as our son gets older because I dont want him to be a part of that cycle.  I want him to speak Vietnamese and understand that side of the family but not be around to all that nonsense.
    image
  • polooo27 said:
    Ratpasta said:
    LuckyDad said:

    Ratpasta said:
    at this point I should be thanking my lucky stars that I live in a place where I dont have to deal with actual cold.....
    Sunshine high five!

    I grew up with actual cold, so I did my time.
    I didnt.  Im just spoiled.  But I understand that Im spoiled.

    our house is four blocks from here - not that i ever get to see it

    image


    That's a nice view.

    image

    whats all the white stuff
    image
  • Ratpasta said:
    LuckyDad said:

    Ratpasta said:
    at this point I should be thanking my lucky stars that I live in a place where I dont have to deal with actual cold.....
    Sunshine high five!

    I grew up with actual cold, so I did my time.
    I didnt.  Im just spoiled.  But I understand that Im spoiled.

    our house is four blocks from here - not that i ever get to see it

    image
    Looks like Santa Barbara.

    image

  • Ratpasta said:
    LuckyDad said:

    Ratpasta said:
    at this point I should be thanking my lucky stars that I live in a place where I dont have to deal with actual cold.....
    Sunshine high five!

    I grew up with actual cold, so I did my time.
    I didnt.  Im just spoiled.  But I understand that Im spoiled.

    our house is four blocks from here - not that i ever get to see it

    image
    Looks like Santa Barbara.
    you're quite the right clicker!
    image
  • @ratpasta - I think I understand now. I'd offer advice, but it would be the generic stuff that you've already had go through your head. So I'll just wish you luck.

    As far as that white stuff goes, my people call it snow.

  • I am uber-protective of my boy.  The minute any family drama kicks off, I snatch him up and leave the room.

    image

  • polooo27 said:

    @ratpasta - I think I understand now. I'd offer advice, but it would be the generic stuff that you've already had go through your head. So I'll just wish you luck.

    As far as that white stuff goes, my people call it snow


    I have heard of "snow" and we have even had it once or twice where I live.  I've even been in it a few times!  as it turns out, flip flops are the best for ice the falls from the sky
    image
  • I am uber-protective of my boy.  The minute any family drama kicks off, I snatch him up and leave the room.
    yeah - I can see that.  The issue is that my Vietnamese is terrible and they are always speaking Vietnamese
    image
  • My wife's family is rather critical of her parenting. It gets really weird when I defend my wife to my Mother In Law, specifically parenting choices I actually have strong feelings about and am on the same page as her.

    There's also a lot of selective memory. All Toddlers "misbehave". My mother in law seems to think my wife was this perfect angel when she was my son's age. Riiiiiiiiiight.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • LuckyDad said:
    My wife's family is rather critical of her parenting. It gets really weird when I defend my wife to my Mother In Law, specifically parenting choices I actually have strong feelings about and am on the same page as her.

    There's also a lot of selective memory. All Toddlers "misbehave". My mother in law seems to think my wife was this perfect angel when she was my son's age. Riiiiiiiiiight.
    ive noticed that quite a bit as people age..... Im sure ill probably do the same thing too
    image
  • LuckyDad said:
    My wife's family is rather critical of her parenting. It gets really weird when I defend my wife to my Mother In Law, specifically parenting choices I actually have strong feelings about and am on the same page as her.

    There's also a lot of selective memory. All Toddlers "misbehave". My mother in law seems to think my wife was this perfect angel when she was my son's age. Riiiiiiiiiight.

    My pet peeve about the whole misbehaving thing is when the grandparents laugh when the boy does something he is not supposed to be doing.  I know damn well that my parents did not laugh and think it was cute whenever I misbehaved.

    But judging our parenting?  That will get my parents a quick timeout for sure!

    image

  • My family situation is similar, but opposite. My wife's family is real supportive and does about everything right. My family I can't figure out, my dad plays with him fine, but my mom shies away and really only gets involved if my son is doing something she doesn't like. So of course my son doesn't favor her, but she thinks it's because she doesn't see him often enough. And that selective memory thing is no joke. It doesn't make it any better when the person is question doesn't forget anything.

  • polooo27 said:

    My family situation is similar, but opposite. My wife's family is real supportive and does about everything right. My family I can't figure out, my dad plays with him fine, but my mom shies away and really only gets involved if my son is doing something she doesn't like. So of course my son doesn't favor her, but she thinks it's because she doesn't see him often enough. And that selective memory thing is no joke. It doesn't make it any better when the person is question doesn't forget anything.

    It kinda sounds like I actually *was* a dream baby (sleeping, sitting in high chair, etc), so it's good that my mom isn't judgmental at all. But my siblings were both a lot tougher than I was, so she has that reference.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • LuckyDad said:
    polooo27 said:

    My family situation is similar, but opposite. My wife's family is real supportive and does about everything right. My family I can't figure out, my dad plays with him fine, but my mom shies away and really only gets involved if my son is doing something she doesn't like. So of course my son doesn't favor her, but she thinks it's because she doesn't see him often enough. And that selective memory thing is no joke. It doesn't make it any better when the person is question doesn't forget anything.

    It kinda sounds like I actually *was* a dream baby (sleeping, sitting in high chair, etc), so it's good that my mom isn't judgmental at all. But my siblings were both a lot tougher than I was, so she has that reference.
    I've been told my sister and I were both pretty good, I think. A lot of it had to do with sheltering us though. So now I'm the opposite and want my son to experience everything.
  • LuckyDad said:
    My wife's family is rather critical of her parenting. It gets really weird when I defend my wife to my Mother In Law, specifically parenting choices I actually have strong feelings about and am on the same page as her.

    There's also a lot of selective memory. All Toddlers "misbehave". My mother in law seems to think my wife was this perfect angel when she was my son's age. Riiiiiiiiiight.

    My pet peeve about the whole misbehaving thing is when the grandparents laugh when the boy does something he is not supposed to be doing.  I know damn well that my parents did not laugh and think it was cute whenever I misbehaved.

    But judging our parenting?  That will get my parents a quick timeout for sure!

    my mother is the *WORST* - she lets my 6 year old niece do pretty much whatever the hell she wants.  Trash cans are upended, food on the floor everywhere.... she buys her huge things like trampolines and playhouses almost like she is trying to win a contest against my sister.
        it makes me sick sometimes and she is going to have very limited contact with my son
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  • Grandparents be trippin'....

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    image

  • Just reading this now...maybe you need a nap, since you aren't getting your 9+ hours
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                                                                  #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

     

                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
  • WasNotWas said:
    Just reading this now...maybe you need a nap, since you aren't getting your 9+ hours
    you dislike me so much you keep posting baited comments in my thread


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  • Ratpasta said:
    WasNotWas said:
    Just reading this now...maybe you need a nap, since you aren't getting your 9+ hours
    you dislike me so much you keep posting baited comments in my thread


    She is probably just a fan. 

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    [Deleted User]
  • RatpastaRatpasta member
    edited February 2014
    Some sweet loving from my wife would go a long way......having said that Im 4 months now without and lesse - another 14 hour day at work!


    =))

    ohhhh my life is awesome right now.  Sometimes working in the TV industry is hell.  Sometimes its awesome, for now.  Hell.
    image
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