3rd Trimester

Advice: Would you go to sister-in-law's c-section?

I was't sure where to post this question... I figured I am 34 weeks so here would be good. I just found out the date that my sister-in law is having her C-Section... next week. This is her second child and we come from a big family. Is it rude if I show up in the afternoon to the hospital?

Being pregnant myself I have had to use a lot of my PTO time at work for my own appointments and I am running very low on time so I don't want to take a full day off of work as I need the time for the rest of my appointments and during maternity leave. She never asked me to be there for the actual procedure and I know her husband's family will be there bright and early. I figured that by the time they do the procedure, weight, check and test baby. etc. and make sure she is okay that showing up around 12:00pm or 1:00pm would be okay.

What would you do?

Re: Advice: Would you go to sister-in-law's c-section?

  • Go after the baby arrives. That way she has some time to recover as well and nurse her baby. I like a little alone time myself so I think going in the afternoon would be best. Two I'm sure they have limits on the number of people in the room so you will have to go staggered anywho.

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  • Give a call after baby arrives and see when a visit would be best for her.


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  • Ask her when she wants visitors. Don't just show up, and especially don't come before the baby is born.

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  • I would not have wanted visitors that soon after my c-section.  My husband and mother were there and they were enough.  You're trapped in bed, you're exhausted, you're being monitored for post op complications, it's just not a great time to see people.  I'd wait till the next day (at the earliest) and call first.  
  • Why would you need to be at the hospital for the actual procedure?

    You should just talk to her and ask when they think they'd like you to visit. If she says "anytime" or something vague, I would think going that evening or whatever would be fine.

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  • Thanks, that is what I was thinking about doing... When she had her first child, also via c-section her husband had everyone come up at once and it was a mess... There were so many of us in the waiting room (literally 30 people) and people getting upset that they had to wait because there was a limit of 4 in the room at a time, etc.

    I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being rude by waiting or want her to think I don't care, because I do. But I understand that she will need time to herself and to bond with baby after she is born... some others in the family don't understand that and are there before the procedure and stay all.day.long.

    I planned on texting her today and let her know I would come in the afternoon and see what time is good for her. That was I can stop by her house and get things she may need or pick up food or what not.

    Thanks for the advice! @FemShep @mommykristin88 @RondackHiker @mcgeeva

  • I would go after or wait even till she is home honestly.

    Hospital stays are all of 2-3 days max without complications, and hopefully she isn't the judgy type. I preferred people wait till we got home and really didn't want company at the hospital.
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  • Give a call after baby arrives and see when a visit would be best for her.

    Agree. Child birth is a life event but I never understand why some people think it's for their entertainment. Let the new mom breathe.


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  • Well I talked to her and she said afternoon is fine,  I figured she would say that...  (I forgot to mention that her procedure was early in the morning... and I didn't think I should be there since I wouldn't be allowed in the room anyway), but I just wanted to make sure. I was not sure of the "rules" for sister in laws having babies and when I should show up. We have gotten close being that we are both pregnant and only 4 weeks apart. And I didn't want her to think her brother (my husband) and I went not being supportive.

    I just didn't want anything bad said about be for "not being there"... sometimes things like this get a little tricky with our family...

  • I wouldn't worry about it. She's probably relieved to not have a circus again like last time. We had so many visitors at hospital with my DD that I'm praying they don't come this time (other than immediate family). It was too much and I'm convinced that's why my DD had latching issues. I never got a chance to feed :(

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  • I would wait and call even if she said afternoon is fine. There is no telling how your body will react after surgery and there is a chance she won't feel up to visitors at all. I know after mine I literally threw up for 24 hours and was so incredibly thankful that I didn't have anyone in the waiting room (we had established ahead of time that we would just send text updates then call once we were ready to see people). I just was not up to having anyone at all in the room. I think people feel more strongly that they 'should' be there for it than the person giving birth actually feels about WANTING them there! If it were me, I would appreciate a call just to double check that I was up to it even if I said ahead of time that it was fine.
  • Why are you asking us? Ask your sister in law. It's her birth and her baby.
  • I didn't want anything to do with visitors after my csec. Maybe the next day would have been different. I was exhausted.
    Soon to be mommy of 3!
    DS Grayson (3yrs) (Emergency Csec)
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    DD Isabella due 8/2/2014


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  • I wouldn't want any visitors after major surgery.  Let the woman recover and enjoy the life she just brought into the world before trying to visit.  I'd also ask her first so that she can say what she would prefer.
  • I say no. I had a very rough csection and was so sick from medicine. I was throwing up in a bucket afterwards all day. I was so sick I couldn't even hold my baby. It's a lot if recovery. I would wait till the next day at least but respectively wait until they get home.
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