When to start TTC??

MelissaElsa

My H and I just recently got married (Sept. 1st) and are already having BOTB! All my life I've always wanted to be a mother and my H actually really looks forward to being a father. As much as we would both love to be parents like tomorrow, we are semi trying to wait at least a year before TTC. We both feel like we could survive/handle parenthood if we needed to, but deep down I feel like it'd be "right" to wait a while before TTC. If anything I'm the one wanting to wait so we can be a little more financially ready. My only question is when do you know that you're financially ready? We don't have as much as I'd like saved, but we both have parents that are eager to be grandparents and are more than willing to help in watching over/spoiling our future kid(s)! 

Anyways, we have a time frame in mind of when we'd like to start TTC but I guess I just want to know if it's realistic. Are babies really as expensive as I believe them to be? ( I've heard both ways). We are just trying to figure out how to best prepare for TTC! I know it's impossible to be 100% ready especially as a first timer but I just seem to question when is the best time!? Any opinions/comments/advice are welcomed!! Thanks!

Piercingpixxie

I say it's best to do when you both really want that baby.. There will be ups and downs but in the end it's definitely worth it all and you will be very happy! And babies can be a bit pricey but you can't put a price on love lol but if you feel waiting a year is best then so be it to get everything together I can totally understand your concerns I have a 3 year old and I did everything backwards me and my hubby are living with my mom and it sucks can't wait to be financially set to move out your are very blessed and fortunate so you are good to go in my opinion so best of luck and take care!

octbridemaryland

Will having a child have an impact on your income? Are you planning on using daycare? Will you eventually need a larger vehicle? Do you plan on sending your child(ren) to private school or preschool? If the answer is yes, I would take more time saving. 

Childcare (even preschool) can be costly. If you have family to watch your child, you are very fortunate. 

The financial impact of having kids is largely dependent on your circumstances and lifestyle. If you are your husband maintain the same income and don't need to worry about childcare, it won't be too bad. 

Jags8

As far as financials, a good rule of thumb is to always have 6 months worth of bills in your savings, in case anything happens. Also, you obviously need insurance. If your job does not provide benefits to you, you should also save up about the same amount of money that you will lose when you take off for maternity leave. Start researching daycare if you or your DH are not going to be a SAHP (because even if your parents "can't wait" I'm sure that doesn't mean they want to be full-time babysitters).

As far as "feeling ready"- DH and I made a list of things we want to accomplish or do before we start TTC. For examples: I wanted our cars paid off (done). Now we only have my student loan and house loan for debt. He wanted to get in a few full seasons of being abke to hunt whenever he wanted. We never took our honeymoon after our wedding in 2012 due to his work, so we are taking one now this month. DH is back in school, so he needs to be close to the "finish line" when we start TTC. Stuff like that!

My best advice is general is to wait. Enjoy this time with your husband, because you will never get it back. Appreciate being able to leave the house on a whim, going out with your friend whenever you want, sleeping through the night and sleeping in, etc. I've heard plenty of women say "I love my baby so much, but I wish we would have waited a little longer." I've never heard anyone say "I wish I would have had a baby even sooner."

kcisthebombdotcom

I think you got some good advice about saving six months worth of expenses (which is just smart regardless if you're having a child or not) and budgeting for labor and delivery costs/maternity leave. I think really the biggest expense outside of the diapers and such is medical expenses. The first month alone we spent $400 in doctors office copays/lactation consultant visits because we needed multiple weight checks a week for the first six weeks because I was having issues establishing a milk supply to nurse. You have so many sick visits in that first year and those copays really do add up quick. If your budget doesn't have a good amount of wiggle room I would wait until it does. Also kids get more expensive with age. You might get off cheap if you can nurse, cloth diaper, buy used clothes/toys, and your child is rarely sick but once you have a preschooler/school age kid Activities and swim lessons and fun trips to kid friendly places are all pricey and it would be incredibly boring if we were solely counting on free activities for entertainment.

FemShep

You've received some great advice, OP.  In addition to the 6 months of expenses saved, keep the following in mind:

You should have a will and life insurance in place before baby is born.  Depending on how much insurance you want and how the will is structured, this expense can run from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars (plus ongoing annual costs for the insurance policy).

Make sure you and DH have both STD and LTD policies in place.  Most "maternity leave" is paid through an STD policy, and they generally won't cover pregnancy if the policy isn't in place before conception.  Check into this now.

While babies don't need nearly as much "stuff" as people think they do, they can be incredibly expensive if there are medical issues or if you go back to work.  We spend more on daycare than on our mortgage (not joking, wish I was).  Investigate daycare costs and waiting lists in your area, and try living on a "baby budget" for a few months to see what the change will be like; it's also a great way to boost your savings!

Check into your health insurance coverage now, and have your annual deductible in savings in addition to your emergency fund.  Plans vary in terms of what they cover for childbirth, but planning to have the "worst case scenario" available in case of complications is a good idea.

And while I'm sure your family would be super excited about spoiling a little one, it's really best not to count on any financial assistance.  First, there's no telling what might happen in the future, and your family's circumstances could change suddenly and without warning.  Also, while our family loves to buy the girls clothes and toys, which is great, they don't cover the practical, day-to-day expenses of having kids, nor should they.  As great as their gifts are, we don't count on them for big stuff (like educational savings, retirement, daycare) or little boring stuff (like diapers), and that's what really adds up.

Good luck!

kerbear135

I think you're received some good advice OP...I would also add that I advocate waiting if you think you're not ready. You guys are newlyweds and probably need some time to adjust to living together before you add a baby. Babies can put stress on relationships as well as budgets, so while you're preparing financially for a baby, make sure you're also preparing your relationship...work on communication now, because it's only going to get harder when you're sleep deprived and/or have a baby demanding most of your attention.

Ducktale

Piercingpixxie said:

I say it's best to do when you both really want that baby.. There will be ups and downs but in the end it's definitely worth it all and you will be very happy! And babies can be a bit pricey but you can't put a price on love lol but if you feel waiting a year is best then so be it to get everything together I can totally understand your concerns I have a 3 year old and I did everything backwards me and my hubby are living with my mom and it sucks can't wait to be financially set to move out your are very blessed and fortunate so you are good to go in my opinion so best of luck and take care!

Last I checked Target doesn't accept love in exchange for diapers. And good thing everyone doesn't follow your advice and just have babies when they "really want" one.

SmileyJay

Babies are expensive, but really just being an adult is expensive. This is on my mind today as we had some HVAC issues lately and it is looking increasingly likely that we will be shelling out about $4K in the next year or so for a new unit. Stuff like that just happens and you have to be ready for it, thankfully we are and it won't make a difference in ttc. But we are savers.

Practically every answer you will get is that everyone is different. We have waited almost 3 years into our marriage to start ttc. During that time we finished our bachelor's degrees, traveled a bit, bought a house, cut our expenses and saved money like squirrels and nuts. We could definitely have more saved or less student loan debt, but we are prioritizing and trying to live our vision for our family.

So for us - 

Baby fund - $4K but able to add ongoing expenses to monthly budget

Our maximum monthly expenses for a baby will be around $1500 a month. This would be for full time daycare, formula, insurance, diapers, and other ongoing costs. I hope to breastfeed and at least cloth diaper at home. I have a flexible job and family help so full time care wont be necessary but we budgeted for it. We live in a low cost of living area and infant care is about $180-220 per week.

Emergency fund - Bare minimum if $5K, we prefer to have around $20K - this depends on how much $5K is the very least I would have for emergencies if you own a house. This should be able to cover any insurance deductibles (health, home, car) or fix things like HVAC. 

Rainy day fund - just extra money for expenses that should not come from savings. For me this is stuff like decorating, vacations, etc. This keeps me from feeling like we are just working to save, but it will probably get cut out once a baby comes along. 

We do a lot of scrimping to save money and do some of the things we want to do like travel. We do not pay for cable, we have an htpc and watch all of our shows online. We have cheap cell phone plans, follow meal plans, only eat out once a week, cancelled our gym memberships, etc. We also had saved for 4 years before we bought our house in 2012, but that drained our savings so we are just now building back up. 

Good luck figuring out what works best for your guys! Being a parent is expensive but being a good parent is not determined by how much money you can provide. Having a happy and stable household is the most important thing. 

SmileyJay

Oh I didn't explain the baby fund very well - the 4K breaks down as $2K for the nursery and baby stuff, $500 for my doula fee, and $1000 for our after-insurance pre-natal/delivery costs. My deductible is only $300 but then we pay 10% of the bill after that. Call your insurance to get an idea. You may also want to take classes like the Bradley method, le leche groups, etc.

MelissaElsa

Thank you guys! All the comments have been pretty helpful... Even some of the bickering. Based on what you all said I feel like we have a better idea on how to plan and prepare for TTC (which will still be some time down the road). I know everyone's techniques/opinions can vary in this area, but it has been helpful and this has given us a lot to think about. Again, thanks!!