Constant Worrying

HeatherHam10

So I know after dealing with IF it is normal to be paranoid and worry throughout the pregnancy but I feel like I haven't hardly allowed 1 second of joy throughout this yet.  I have felt excited after hearing the heartbeat only to start worrying immediately again the following day.  It doesn't make it any easier that I haven't had many symptoms at all (which I know can be a good thing) but for me I haven't found anything to reassure myself. 

I was curious for you ladies who have felt extreme anxiety throughout pregnancy, what you have found to help you cope?  I have already contacted a local counselor who specializes in infertility who I plan to start seeing and I'm hoping that'll help a bit, but just curious of anything you may do at home, etc...I'm so tired of analyzing EVERYTHING!

amwenz

I was sure before Xmas break my husband was going to make me live in the garage and let me out in July! I made a conscious effort to not read on the internet and only pregnancy books. Reading all about horror stories doesn't help. I try to only bump once or so a day or when I'm relaxed. I've also started exercising again and doing yoga. Deep breaths & maybe make your husband feel special. I feel mine has taken a beating since IF started. Good luck;)

Keephope2012

Unfortunately I think a lot of us were/are in the same boat. I would say step away from google- try not to look up symptoms, lack of symptoms, betas, etc. and have some faith that the doctors will tell you what you need to know. I don't remember when but I did find it got easier (I'm 38 weeks today-crazy!) I still worry about the LO but I remember being totally panicked at times at the beginning. Also it helped to remind myself (when I convinced myself I did something to harm the baby in whatever crazy way I thought up that day) that we are all much more careful than the average pregnant person and think of all the things our moms didn't know about (cigarettes, caffeine, alcohol) when pregnant with us. Having someone to talk to sounds like a good idea too- hang in there!

PhillyJ33

I know how you are feeling. I obsessed over everything in the beginning (still guilty of it but I think I got a little better). I tried to stay as busy as possible- reading, renting new shows from Netflix and I really tried to stay off google (I wasn't always successful).
I was always scared to be excited because I was waiting for the other show to drop....
Sorry you have anxiety about everything and I hope the counselor helps. If she can provide helpful hints- feel free to pass them along!

liz4paws

I echo what all of the other ladies have said. I'm a chronic worrier and my therapist has said I suffer from a form of PTSD after my mom's death, infertility, and two m/c. I thought my whole pregnancy would be wrought with worry, but surprisingly I am finding lots of joy in it finally. I think staying off of google has helped. The statistics @ThoseThreeWords mentioned help me A LOT! I'm purposely putting blinders on and am going off of what my doctor tells me instead of second guessing everything with google searches like I did in the quest to become pregnant. That approach definitely helped me then, but this is the right approach for me now. I hope things ease up on  you.

HeatherHam10

Thank you ladies, I guess it is one step at a time...and the first is to stop googling!  I will share any tips I come across that work for me!

krdesi

I was really anxious at first and that was even with weekly ultrasounds, now that I am 11 weeks but havent seen the baby since 9 weeks, I am more anxious again! My next ultrasound is next week but it's my NT scan so that is adding anxiety with all of that as well. I think we are just going to have moments of anxiety throughout, since there's always a next milestone to get through!

Benilulu

I'm glad I'm not the only one. Everything you wrote sums up how I have felt. We go in for another u/s tomorrow (9.5) weeks and I'm praying I will calm down after that. My RE had a good point though, he said it's very normal to worry throughout it, and that you will be worrying about your baby for the rest of their life, even when they are an adult It's very hard not to google about lack of symptoms or statistics. But I do find a little hope that rates go down significantly after you see a heartbeat at 6 weeks. Hang in there, you're not alone!!

anations

I've been terribly sick and it helped a little, but still didn't keep me from worrying. Then I had several days with no weight gain and less symptoms, freaked out, now I'm really nauseous again! Don't know which is worse. Faith is a hard thing when you have been through as much as we have. But I'll keep trying. Good luck to you too!

whoberry

I am a huge worrier and minimal symptoms freaked me out too. For me trying to remember that there is nothing I can do to change the outcome helps a little. Worrying and anxiety have dissipated a bit as things have progressed. I am a little bitter that I can't be all joyful and sort of naive about it. I guess ignorance really is bliss.

mlamping

I have one week left and I am still worrying about everything. When you have the baby the worry won't stop it will just change to a different worry. That is motherhood. Best of luck! I have learned to try to educate myself as best as I can and then just leave it all to God to see what really happens! Best of luck! 

brittneyandadam

Going through the same thing right now. I haven't had my first u/s yet, so I'm very very anxious. I have a higher chance of m/c in the first trimester b/c of my translocation...but they can't give a percentage b/c my type is so rare. It's anywhere between 20-50% in the first 12 weeks. I caved and emailed my RE for a 3rd beta just to put my mind at ease.
I hope you'll find your counselor to be helpful...like PPs mentioned, feel free to pass along any coping mechanisms that they give you :-). I wish we could all turn off our IF brains...feels like that causes more pain/anxiety than anything else

BrideJackie11

I felt the same way. Getting into the second trimester, I felt a lot of relief and was able to share the news with the world.  At each step of the way, I worry about something.  I will say that having a doppler really helped after 9/10 weeks, which is early to find it. I used it daily and hearing her heartbeat was so reassuring.  It took a while to get used to it and can be anxiety-provoking when you can't find the heartbeat but you have to prepare yourself for the that.  Now I try to think that each week is an accomplishment.  At 33 weeks, I sometimes worrry about preterm labor, my GD, swelling and having to check glucose 4x a day and blood pressure daily.  I try not to think about all of it at once because it can be overwhelming.  I think talking to someone is a great idea.  Good luck!  Hang in there!

marnief

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck, Heather!  I agree with laying off google and just trusting the books and your doc.  I actually had no idea there were therapists who specialized in IF, something to keep in mind if I end up wanting to talk to someone.  I hope the counselor can help you find healthy ways to manage your worry and still enjoy your pregnancy.

olenkapdx

It sounds like a lot of us can relate.  I definitely can.  I guess I had spent so many years being disappointed that when pregnancy finally happened for me,  my brain didn't know how to handle it.  Instead of being overjoyed I felt lonely, isolated, and constantly worried that something was going to go wrong.  To combat some of this, I had to stay away from Dr. Google and continued to see my therapist who I had been going to on and off for a few years.  She was definitely helpful to talk to while I was going through IF, and the early stages of pregnancy was no different.  Going to a counselor who specializes in this area sounds like a great idea!  Good luck!!