Crap.

20thirteen

After months of bliss, hiding the fact that I have a webcam so I don't have to Skype, BD's mom is buying me a new webcam. So that I won't have an excuse to not Skype with her. I guess it was only a matter of time before she bought one for me, lol. The upside is that I'm getting a pretty sweet webcam. Maybe I'll start skyping with my bro in Japan (who I miss terribly!)... I'm just not looking forward to crazy "lets Skype right now!" messages. But I'm also pretty sure she's jealous of my parents and family who see DD all the time, whenever they want and she's in FL and can't.

MinnesotaMomma91

I use sleep as an excuse to get out of skyping lol. But im a bad person

20thirteen

I feel like this woman is going to turn me into a bad person... LOL

jesuisfatiguee

Oy. I mean, at least she wants to be involved in her grandbaby's life, but... nobody likes a smotherer!

20thirteen

Yeah! I know! We don't know how to refer to her, either. We keep saying BD's mom, and sometimes my mom calls her my mom in law even though BD and I were never married. I call her DD's grandSmother for the most part. I wish there was another child in her life to dote on!

tig594

Oh damn.  LO found it and tried flushing it down the toilet.  And then the dog chewed up the rest of it.  Bummer!

jesuisfatiguee

Roxalot said:

Yeah! I know! We don't know how to refer to her, either. We keep saying BD's mom, and sometimes my mom calls her my mom in law even though BD and I were never married. I call her DD's grandSmother for the most part. I wish there was another child in her life to dote on!

The only grandmother figure in DS' life is his step-grandmother on his dad's side. I just call her DS' grandma or DS' Nana, because I am too lazy say "step-grandmother."

MinnesotaMomma91

My parents are grandma and grandpa bfs are mi mi and papa, and ds paternal grandparents are r and g. They dont even know hes their grand kid so its pretty pointless to call them grandma and grandpa

20thirteen

You haven't told them that your DS is their grandson?

jesuisfatiguee

Roxalot said:

You haven't told them that your DS is their grandson?

Wondering the same thing... Are they scary or dangerous people or something?

Gamera3000

This isn't directly related but I'm legally married to my ex and BD is legally married to some girl from 15-20 years ago. I happen to play bar trivia against BDs wife's dad. He has no idea who I am and I've never talked to him but he seems nice. I get to tell people "there's my baby's granddaddy!" every week and he has no idea. I'm waiting for the funniest possible time to tell him he's been hanging out with his sort-of-not-really grandson every week!

My ex's parents already told me they're LOs "granma" and "poppa". ☺

MinnesotaMomma91

je+suis=fatiguee said:

Roxalot said:

You haven't told them that your DS is their grandson?

Wondering the same thing... Are they scary or dangerous people or something?

Hardly. I feel it isnt my place. Bd lies to everyone saying he isnt the dad. Im sure if they knew they would be smothering. But its bds job to tell his wide kids and parents aboyt bentley

jesuisfatiguee

I get where you're coming from. My ex's parents and siblings didn't know DS existed for a long time, either. While yes, it is absolutely his job to talk to his family, I decided it was in my DS' best interest to have his grandparents involved so I reached out on my own. Let me tell you, they were SOOO excited! This is their first grandchild/nephew and they have been nothing but loving toward DS and very kind to me (I lucked out in that way, I think).

Honestly, while they're *more* your DS' father's family, they're your DS' family and they're also your family, too. You're all related now, through your DS. Just think of how much positive impact an extra set of grandparents - an extra branch of loving extended family - could have in your DS' life.

It's your life and you'll do what you wish, but since we have a fairly similar situation, I thought I'd share my experience.

MinnesotaMomma91

I dont know it would be a positive for ds. He has a sister just four months younger and three older siblings. When bd and i were friends his mom was pretty ubundantly clear that she wouldnt accept any grand kids that werent from his wife a when he started dating again.

I made peace with the fact bd and his family would not accept my son and im okay with that

jesuisfatiguee

Damn, that's cold. Sounds kinda like DS' bio dad's mom. She wants nothing to do with DS, and I assume it's because she hates me (the reason is elusive because she won't actually talk to me). The last time I saw her she was flipping me off as she drove away, so... Yeah. It's lame, but ultimately it's her loss because DS is a freaking awesome kid  

MinnesotaMomma91

Thats how i feel. Sides bfs family and mine love ds. Bd and his families drama arent needed

tig594

The whole thing kind of sucks, though.  I mean, these are innocent children we're talking about.  DD's paternal grandma wants to be a part of her life but they are all acting crazy these days because BD is in jail for doing stupid shit.  I don't feel it's beneficial to have her around if she can't focus on DD instead of pointing the finger at me and accusing me that BD went out drinking and driving again let alone all the other crap he's in trouble for.  Cause, ya know, I put that beer in his hand and his keys in the ignition of the truck she lets him drive that's registered and insured by her.  If y'all would like to benefit from these magical powers I have just let me know!  

Another thing that pisses me off about her is that she has four grandkids.  Two are from BD and two from his brother.  BD has a 19 year old son and he and his family didn't spend much time with the boy because of issues with his mom, I guess.  He's a really good kid and I've talked to his mom several times and she seems ok albeit a little trashy.  And she loves my daughter just because Aria is her son's sister.  But I've heard BD's mom say a few times she only has three grand kids a few times, not four.  I just infuriates me that she excludes BDs son.

MinnesotaMomma91

That makes me sad for your bd son. Also i love how its your fault his grown ass drank and drove

20thirteen

tig594 said:

 If y'all would like to benefit from these magical powers I have just let me know!  

Please send some of your magic this way please!

But, on a serious note, it does bug me when I read about the mother's of the BD's who deny their own flesh and blood.  I mean, I don't understand how someone can look at a kid with such indifference (or sometimes even hate).  It's not the kid's fault (s)he was born.  Why deny the kid the love and support they show for their shitty son who WALKED OUT on the child?