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skyhannon · January 2014

JNCPro3130 · January 2014

I think I understand where you are coming from. My DH (darling husband) and I have been married for 4 and a half years and I have had babies on the brain for probably 3 years. LOL My DH would also shake his head or give me a "Really?!" sort of look any time I talked about having a baby. In my head I knew it wasn't a good time for us, but I wanted to have a baby really badly. We had a plan (financial goals, etc.) that we wanted to reach first before trying. It is hard sometimes, but I think that being prepared (or as prepared as one can be) for a baby will help me enjoy the experience more without being stressed by other factors such as finances. As you said, only you and your BF can decide when it is best. If it were me, I would finish school and get in better shape financially. Again, that is just my personal opinion. Good luck to you!

skyhannon · January 2014

He does not MAKE me avoid anything i didn't mean to say it like that. Sorry for the misunderstanding. It was never like he was guarding me or controlling what I ate. Instead he cooks me healthy meals and warns me against taratogens. If I really want to eat something I will. I think its sweet that he is committed to me and is ready to start taking care of our potential child whenever that may be.

I want to wait but 2 years seems like forever. I know its really not that long in hindsight but how do i keep babies off my mind in the mean time? I totally agree with JNCPro3130, we have goals to reach too but its hard! It would be awesome to time travel a year or two ahead.

FemShep · January 2014

Start by not visiting the Knot and the Bump all the time (or at all). Focus on your short-term goals, like finishing school, establishing yourself financially, and building a strong relationship. All of these things will help tremendously when you and your partner decide the time is right to start your family.

Jags8 · January 2014

No sorry I can't relate. The thought of having a baby while in college terrified me. Please just finish school and get ready financially before you have a child. I would stay off The Bump.

jnnfrrose6 · January 2014

Jags8 said:

No sorry I can't relate. The thought of having a baby while in college terrified me. Please just finish school and get ready financially before you have a child. I would stay off The Bump.

Agreed. Honestly, I cannot relate to, and do not understand people, who say they are baby crazy, yet they are still in school, have other plans they'd like to accomplish (like traveling), and are not financially ready. It all sounds immature and like you aren't truly ready or have any idea what you're getting yourself in for if you think having a baby sooner is somehow going to make your life "complete." (I know that phrase was never used, but why else would you be "longing" for a baby at this point).

Stay off the bump and the knot. Focus on school. Focus on the trips you have planned. Get find a job. Then, focus on baby.

SmileyJay · January 2014

My husband and I lived together for 3 years before getting married. During that time I had plenty of bouts of baby fever. When you are with the right guy, having a child just feels natural and feels like something that will bring you even closer together.

He asked me to marry him, we finished college, we got married, we bought a house, and traveled a bit. Now, 3 years into the marriage, we are planning to have a baby.

My best advice is to get a hobby or maybe a pet (only if you are a pet person and would keep it for its entire life) and definitely get off these boards. They will drive you batty. You have to focus on the now and getting your life where you want it to be. When the topic gets brought up again you should tell your mom not to mention it again, that you really want to focus on enjoying your youth and want to be married before having a child. You need to be able to afford a baby at the very least. She should want that for you, too.

Helenahhandbasket · January 2014

I have not had similar feelings, but I also live in a part of the country where marriage is delayed (most of my similarly aged friends have gotten married in the last 12-18 months-- we are in our early 30s). Not that you need to be married to have kids, obv, but this means that most of my friends are starting to have babies now. (early-mid 30s)

I can't imagine having my DD one minute sooner than she was born (I was 31 when she was born, and had been married 4+ years). Though I love my DD more than anyhting, there are days that I miss my child free life. It's hard to put into words, but I would think long and hard before you decide to make the life changing decision to become a parent.

LittleLunarMouse · January 2014

I can relate to wanting a baby when I wasn't ready. On the one hand it's hormonal, and most women start feeling the urge to procreate; it's what our bodies are designed to do after all. On the other hand, I've always known that I wanted to be a young mother.

Despite all of that (and in fact because of it), I also knew that I wanted the best possible life I could offer for my child, and that meant being responsible and putting myself in the best position I could before bringing a child into this world. I'm 27 now and finally in a place to start TTC. Maybe it's not exactly what I pictured for myself, but Life rarely keeps your plans in mind, you just have to roll with it.

As everyone has said, get off of TheBump. It won't help your baby fever at all. Maybe focus on TheKnot instead, since you said you plan on getting married in the next few years. When I had baby fever I had to curb, I focused on something else I loved instead; for me, that was baking and cooking. Focus on other things that make you happy, enjoy your relationship with your BF, and maybe appreciate that you get to work with kids and then be thankful that you don't have to take them home at the end of the day, lol.

Pookieson · January 2014

I had two friends have babies in college. Nooooooo thank you!!!! Get off the bump, finish college and get financially stable, then worry about babies.

gogadgetgo · January 2014

Apparently someone didn't want to be told no. Bad form op.

missnacholover · January 2014

Kinda annoyed that I didn't see the first post! Boo.

Jags8 · January 2014

@missnacholover - Basically, she is a girl in college who wants to be pregnant rightthissecond and doesn't want to wait anymore. I'm assuming she was looking for validation. Obviously everyone thinks that's a terrible idea.

missnacholover · January 2014

Jags8 said:

@missnacholover - Basically, she is a girl in college who wants to be pregnant rightthissecond and doesn't want to wait anymore. I'm assuming she was looking for validation. Obviously everyone thinks that's a terrible idea.

Thanks for the update!

OP (if you're still around) - yes, bad idea. Finish college first. The end.

skyhannon · January 2014

are you serious boo?? What if I get what your all saying and want to delete instead of having more people tell me the same thing? apparently i cant delete this now so you all get to judge and make assumptions and do what you want. im so over this

Helenahhandbasket · January 2014

Lame.

skyhannon · January 2014

what? i cant say im tired of people calling me immature?

jnnfrrose6 · January 2014

skyhannon said:

what? i cant say im tired of people calling me immature?

You can say whatever you want, just like we can. Deleting your post because you don't like the responses you're getting is bad form on here. Pretty much everyone on here gave you really good advice. Stay off the bump. Focus on other aspects of your life. Wait to have a child until you finish school. There's no need to rush it. If your boyfriend is "the one," then he'll still be around in 2 years when you finish school and are in a better place to start a family.