Email from BD

Gamera3000

BD is homeless, on psychedelics and heroin, and a childhood friend of me and my husband (were separated but live together).

I used to update him on the baby, but since he kept replying with "that's great for you" and "maybe I'm the father who knows" I stopped talking to him. I haven't talked to him since before thanksgiving and although I'VE seen HIM around town, I've avoided him since we broke up in June.

He emailed me and inferred that perhaps I wasn't even pregnant because all he's seen of a baby belly has been in pictures. Then he said to please let him know when the baby is born so he can "submit" to a DNA test.

I'm in VA and legally my husband is the baby's father. My BD will have to go to court to get a DNA test and even then he won't be guaranteed anything. He hasn't bothered to find any of this out I guess. But then he seems kind of crazy and stupid now after 20 years of hard drugs.

I'm insulted, flabbergasted, sad, and angry that he's so ridiculous and negative. I feel ashamed that I banged him to begin with and sad that my son will have to deal with him some day.

Just needed to share.

jesuisfatiguee

I'm sorry  Sounds like a complicated situation.

My son's bio dad isn't on hard drugs, but he denied paternity until the results of the paternity test came through showing otherwise. Even after the fact, he hasn't visited, is impossible to reach, and is basically just a deadbeat. There really was no way he couldn't have been the father, but obviously he has other issues, so... All I'm trying to say is, I feel your pain to a degree. It sucks when someone turns out to be something you didn't think they were and you're basically bound to them for life in one way or another. It's also hard because we want to protect our children from every possible pain and trauma, yet when their father is a less than stellar paternal figure, there is literally nothing we can do about that. It sucks. I'm sorry

MinnesotaMomma91

Im sorry your going through this it will get better someday

20thirteen

he's some kind of special ed... Sorry to hear, but it may be for the best. My friend never knew her real father, never really wanted to. He may be a deadbeat, but that's his loss. Who knows, maybe your son will choose not to know about him...

Hugs