slightly early intro from PAIF

jezebel57

Hi everyone! I'm going to be joining soon and am already needy and asking for some support so figured I'd intro first.  

I was active on the IF board starting in November 2012 after 3 failed IUI's.  We had a failed IVF in February and another fresh IVF in May that worked!  We transferred 3 embryos (4 cell, 5 cell, 6 cell) at 3 days and 1 stuck and split giving us ID boys.  I am scheduled for a c section on Tuesday, January 7th at 36 weeks. This is my first pregnancy and I have been terrified the whole time.  So here's my question!  The closer my c section gets, the more nervous I get that something will be going wrong, and I won't have my boys, or something will happen to me.  I have some serious IF brain issues still and it's hard for me to wrap my head around that this is all going fine so far, babies are good, I am good, and it's a possibility that I will be a mommy in a few days.  Is this something you all felt before delivery also?  Or am I just extra crazy?  

Nice to meet you all, I've been lurking and am looking forward to getting to know everyone.  

Jez

jmorta04

Congrats on the impending arrival of your boys! Unfortunately, I think this is just IF brain rearing its ugly head. I had a perfect pregnancy with no issues and I was so worried something would be wrong with L or I'd have this horrendous L&D. Turns out I was in labor for less than 12 hours and delivered within two hours of arriving at the hospital after about 10 minutes of pushing and gave birth to the most perfect baby boy. I think every woman gets worried before labor, but our brains are kinda wired for disappointment so it's extra hard for us. You're not crazy! But try as hard as you can to enjoy these last few days of being pregnant and try to relax before the boys arrive. GL!

PennyLane26

(((hugs))) I didn't have a c-section, but I know for a fact that you are not alone! The anticipation and anxiety of knowing your boys birthday must be so stressful. BUT being on the other end of things, I can tell you that once you hold those little guys in your arms you will forget your worries! My LO was born at 37 weeks via induction. It was a very nerve-wracking drive to the hospital but my memories are all happy ones. Can't wait to hear your updates this time next week!!

jezebel57

Thanks ladies.  you'll soon learn I'm a little nuts, but still fun.    Will definitely update after the surgery.  

carrera317

Hi there! Welcome! I think we've all discussed here that once an IF, always an IF, even if a SAIF for most of us. You are amongst friends.
Delivery and the reality of becoming a mom is scary in and of itself, never mind going through treaents to get to where you are. I am sure your medical team will be spot on for you. I ended up having a c section because of some mild decels in my son's heart rate and a lack of dilation. My OB was awesome and knew where my fears and priorities were. She said to me "let's go get this baby and make sure you are both safe. I want to see that baby in your arms." She was right-safe baby was my top priority. It'll all work out ok. Things may not go exactly as planned but everyone in the medical field is prepped for that. Being a mom, well, there are always bumps. You will tackle them and find out what works for you. It's tough, but it's the best feeling in the world. We'll all keep you in our thoughts and pray it all goes well for you. Congratulations mommy. Enjoy every moment with those beautiful boys!

kzawisl

Totally normal IF feelings, unfortunately! Congrats on twins--twins are so much fun (also so much work, but you gotta take the bad with the good, right?). Do yourself a favor and make the following sign for their car seats and stroller: "they're boys, yes they're identical, (yes/no) twins (do/do not) run in my family, they're both "the good one"/ my favorite. Please don't touch." ;-)

pb_bride

Hi and welcome! Your feeling is totally normal. I had a c section and I was worried the whole time until I heard the baby cry.  GL and looking forward to meeting your boys.

TJ1979

Welcome! I love seeing you over here, and can't wait to hear the good news that your sweet boys are in your arms!
Unfortunately your fears are totally normal. Like everyone said, try to make the most of your last few days before they are here. GL and you will do great!

galaxymom830

I felt the same way, but unfortunately my pregnancy turned out to be high risk.  At 18 weeks, we found out that my daughter had a single umbilical artery (SUA) which put her at risk for IUGR, so we had many growth scans, etc.  Then at 28 weeks, I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and spent 36hrs in the hospital.  From there on out I had weekly BPPs and 24hr urine collections and twice weekly BP checks  

My daughter ended up being delivered via c-section a day shy of 35 weeks because my pre-eclampsia quickly took a turn into the severe category.  They tried to induce, but my Bishop Score was a 1 (lol).  It failed miserably.  I barely had contractions with the Pitocin.

All of that to say that we got through everything in one piece! She spent 3 weeks in the NICU, but is happy and healthy now with no developmental delays

You'll do great! Good luck!

pinkmickey24

Welcome! You're not nuts, it's normal in my opinion. I was a scheduled csection up until my 36 week appointment because C my baby A was breech. Up until that point my anxiety was out of control with the what ifs and it mainly centered around something happening to me and not being there for the boys. I eventually was switched to an induction for a vaginal birth because C flipped head down at 35 weeks and that started a whole new set of worries. I did end up with a csection and everything turned out good. So if you're nuts I was right there with you in that department seven months ago. Good luck and congratulations!

mnj05

Like everyone else said, pretty normal for us IF girls. I think any mom worries until they hear that first cry, but it's amplified for those of us who went through so much just get these babies inside of us, much less out safely. I ended up with a c/s after over three hours of pushing and didn't hear H cry at first. It took my DH asking me twice if I heard him (of course I was so exhausted and had so many drugs pumping through me and freaking out at the complete numbness to realize what was going on). Once I saw his little face, the worries went away.

Hang in there and try to distract your brain until Tuesday (good luck with that!). You will do great and babies will be here before you know it!

boymomstrong

I think it IF brain, i jeps thinking they were going to take my son away from me, and i kept asking it pick him up and hold him, it took coming home for me to realize he was mine for keeps...

Good luck!

luvboston

Welcome! Good luck my c section was no big deal because I prepared myself by saying all I'm gonna do is lay down on the table and then LO will be here and that is exactly what happened. If you make it no big deal it will be. Gl

Mrs.AmyDylan

Welcome, Jez! I love intros! I'm so excited for you and the boys' upcoming birthday. Take a few quiet minutes with YH just to hold hand and just be the two of you. Birth-days are exciting! Mine caught me off-guard at 38w and I totally wasn't ready! 

You are going to do super awesome! My only advice is, housework can wait, hold your babies. But it is also okay to be overwhelmed by how needy a newborn is and ask for help. Huge hugs and a kick to the teeth of that ole bitch IF!

Mayzie15

Welcome! Your feelings are normal and I felt the same way and still do but it does get better. I worried during my pregnancy a lot but once my DS was in my arms it wasn't as bad. I still worry but all the worry is so worth it . Congrats and before you know it your boys will be here

jezebel57

Ducky719 said:

Hey and welcome (early)! IF brain, def. I had a perfect pregnancy and yet i felt myself getting more and more crazy the further into 3rd tri i got. I cannot tell you how much apple juice i consumed those last two months to make sure LO was still moving. I made MH nuts w it. :-)

So its normal I'd say. Sucky, but normal.

lol I just got done drinking orange juice at 2 am to make sure they were ok.

jezebel57

Love all you ladies already for such a nice warm welcome! Thanks for telling me it's normal- it helps knowing there are others that feel the same way.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick

Welcome and GL on Tuesday! I echo what everyone has said, your feelings are totally understandable.

jessica_gail2

Ditto what the other ladies have said. It sucks but is totally normal. I was induced at 39 weeks and my last day of work I was all like "now I may be back on Monday. I might not have this baby tomorrow like they're planning." Talk about nuts!! I had this strange thing going on in my head that I wouldn't end up having her at that point. I think it wasn't until they broke my water that I was like wellll I guess I will be having her now.

Pregnancy hormones totally mess with your brain, and add the insanity brought about by IF and it's no wonder you're nervous! How exciting is it though that you're finally getting to meet these two little boys you've worked so hard for? Squeeeeee!!!! Good luck little mama! Can't wait to hear how wonderfully it goes!

imoverit

Omg Tues is just around the corner. Yay!!! Welcome to SAIF. You are going to do great and your LOs will be perfect. T&Ps for peace over your delivery.

Ruthie04

So normal! The other posters said it all, but I just wanted to wish you luck! Being a mom to twin boys is the most amazing thing. We laugh all day long!!

JBDamonM

Good luck tomorrow SO exciting.

I cried when my water broke at home because I was terrified. In fact, I also cried the week before when I lost my mucus plug broke because I knew labor was coming..... Your fears are normal, but try not to let them overtake the situation. I was amazed at how much I missed being pregnant once LO arrived. Try and soak up these 24 hours ...

See you over here full time soon!