Advice please????

rachelmoore1991

Hi, I'm new here this is my first time posting. I am looking for advice for my situation. I've only been with my BD since March 2013 and I'm 20 weeks pregnant. We have been living together since June. When we found out i was pregnant in September he totally changed. As of right now we r still together because i find it hard to let go. He has told me multiple times he doesnt love me anymore and doesnt wanna be with me but then we talk, I cry, and he stays. I noticed the other day he was texting a female telling her that our relationship is over and the only reason he is here is for our son. I know its time to let go but i dont know how when i love him with everything and it hurts? Should i continue to try to work things out hoping he will come around or should i just let him go and if so how do i get over him while pregnant?

MinnesotaMomma91

Just let go of him. What im about to say is harsh but you need to hear it.

He. Does. Not. Love. You. It doesnt matter how much you love him, you cant make him love you back. Its clear hes already emotionally checked out of the relationship and its only a matter of time before he physically checks out.

Yes you can get over him. This is not impossible. It will take time. But inorder to get over him you have to leave him. Ecause staying together for the kid doesnt work.

Gamera3000

Aw this sucks. I've learned (the hard way) that it doesn't matter how much you love someone if they don't treat you right. You need to move on and focus on your little one who will make everything in your life so much better.

rachelmoore1991

Thank u ladies i am going to try to move forward

20thirteen

LAMuehlen said:

He. Does. Not. Love. You. It doesnt matter how much you love him, you cant make him love you back. Its clear hes already emotionally checked out of the relationship and its only a matter of time before he physically checks out.

Yes you can get over him. This is not impossible. It will take time. But inorder to get over him you have to leave him. Ecause staying together for the kid doesnt work.

This. It sucks and it's going to hurt so much, but you really need to rip off that band-aid. It's best for you to deal with it right now rather than later, because later will hurt so much more.

Focus on the baby, he seems to want to be a part of the child's life and that is pretty important. Ask him how much involvement he wants and then let go.

MinnesotaMomma91

Btw welcome to the board. Jump in and such

tig594

Agree with previous posters but also consider this.  If you are clingy and desperate he will continue to pull away from you.  Let go and focus on your happiness and your LO.  Even if you aren't feeling it on the inside show it on the outside.  Guys always want what they think they can't have.  I do feel, however, that you deserve better.  You don't need to be with a man to be happy.  And you certainly don't want to be in a one-sided relationship where you put everything in to get nothing back. It's way too draining and you can't afford that right now while you're growing that tiny little person.

jokimoto

I'm sorry you're going through this, but as with the PPs you do need to let go.  It hurts a lot in the beginning, but it does get better.  You also deserve someone who loves you, someone who wants to be with you to be with you, not just because you both brought a child into the world.  Focus on becoming good co-parents, if that's what both of you want, going forward. 

I struggled in the beginning with letting go, but once I began to, it was very freeing.  When I realized that I get to choose my path and I no longer have to dragged down his, I make the decision for myself and my daughter.  His problems are his and I have mine, I no longer have to worry about him, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  

All the ladies on here will tell you it's not a walk in the park, moving on and being a single mom, but there's a lot of good and even happy moments.  So welcome to the board!  H&H pregnancy!!

rachelmoore1991

Thank u everyone I'm getting up the courage to leave

MinnesotaMomma91

Just remember sometimes its better to coparent then to try and make it work

rmajbusiness

First and foremost, WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!!!!!!'secondly, It's time to move on. Immyself am very attached to my BD but each time I make a move to distance myself I feel a bit more freedom. it's hard as hell, but it would be 20 times harder to create emotional distance once my daughter gets here. I 100% want a functional parent relationship but everything else is only detrimental to me. I say that just to say, REMOVE YOURSELF! it's better for you.

kennazebrowsky

The fact that he doesn't want to be with you pregnant should be more than enough

Relationships have good and bad. If he can't be there through thick and thin then he doesn't deserve you.

Dont waste your time. The longer you wraith the harder it will be.