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Back to work tomorrow...

kflynn81kflynn81 member
in Infertility Veterans
I wont lie, I'm kinda freaking out about going back. Thankfully my boss is amazing and is letting me ease into coming back with half days tomorrow and Friday....but still, I'm just not looking forward to all the "I'm so sorry for your loss" talks. Ugh.

On a positive note, we found a grief counselor and were able to get in for our first appointment tomorrow night. I'm a bit relieved we dont have to wait too long to talk to someone.

<sigh>  Is it the weekend yet? lol
Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
  • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
  • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
  • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
  • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
  • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

        Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                  

                                                                          Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


              Anniversary





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Re: Back to work tomorrow...

  • luvbostonluvboston member
    edited January 2014
    Hugs your gonna do great! Maybe start the morning off with a fancy coffee drink to get you going. If you feel like its too much at work ask your boss to go home. Glad you can get into the grief counsler!
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story


    image
    image


    Lilypie - (ugiy)


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  • Lacyj67Lacyj67 member
    It's going to be a hard day on you but you are so strong and can do this!!!!! The first day back is always the hardest! Fri will be much better! Sleep well!!
    Me 34 and DH 39 married in aug. 2002
    Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN
     High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 
    IVF #1 May 2012  ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN
    MINI IVF Oct.2012  Cancelled 10-27-12
    Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013
    Shared cycle..Donor cycled in July Got 12 eggs 9 fertilized and 8 frozen!!
    DE FET #1 Sept. 3rd 2013 FIRST BFP EVER 5dp5dt
    miscarried Sept 24th at 5 weeks 5 days
    Etopic  D&C and hysterscopy Nov 5 2013
    dx with pre genetic blood clotting dec 2013
    FET #2 Jan 31st  2014 
    Miscarried for a second time again at 5 weeks 5 days
    Currently fostering to adopt an amazing little 1 year old boy..P.J!
    FET#3  is Oct 29th 2014
    BFN on fet #3
    Last and FINAL FET coming JAN 28th 2015
    Everyone Welcome






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  • rlk2rlk2 member
    I am still having a hard time finding the energy and motivation to work....IF totally rules your life and thoughts and sucks you of all energy.... Hoping you are able to fight through and glad your boss has been understanding! Agree you should get a good coffee or tea to start the day! Good luck!
    TTC 2 years- Me and DH (28) with (severely) low sperm count- less than 40 total (last 2 SA showed only 5 and 6 sperm each)
    IVF #1: ER 1/23/13- 4 eggs retrieved, 3 eggs fertilized; ET with 1 embryo 1/28/13 2 frosties beta #1 2/5 was 4.8- beta #2 2/7 3.5; BFN
    FET #1- transferred one beautiful 4AA embie. Praying this is my take home baby. Beta 5/7/13- BFFN!!!
    IVF #2: ER 7/17/13: 6R/3F- transferred 1 blast and 1 10 cell embryo 5dt.   Beta hell.  #1 2.5, #2 2.2- BFFFN! REALLY?
    IVF #3: ER 12/1 and only 2 retrieved.  1 fertilized with ICSI.  Was planning on transferring one fresh and one frozen....fresh was only 14 cells at day 5...CANCELLED and devastated due to 5cm blood filled cyst in ovary and blood in uterus.
    IVF #4: Antagonist protocol with endometrial scratch day one of stims.  ER 4/21: 6R/4M/3F- transferred 2 beautiful blasts (5dt) and one was hatching!  No frosties but hoping we won't need it!  Beta 5/4/14- 444(8dp5dt), Beta #2 10dp5dt 1002!  THIS HAS GOT TO BE IT!!!!!!!!!!  First US 5/15 we saw two of the most beautiful gestational and yolk sacs I have ever seen!  
    ****FINALLY PREGNANT WITH DI/DI TWINS!!!!!!!  

    BRINLEY AND RILEY LONG.  Born November 20, 2014 at 32 wks 3 days.  4lbs7oz and 4lbs5oz.  1 month NICU time for "B's" and growing and feeding.  Now healthy, thriving, beautiful little girls!
     imagehttp://i62.tinypic.com/2dl9ap0.jpgpghttp://oi61.tinypic.com/o7t1y0.jpg

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  • hmz819hmz819 member
    I agree with the others. Treat yourself to some yummy coffee/pastries on your way to work.

    I'll be thinking of you today!

    TTC#1 since April 2011
    IVF#1 July 2012 5R, 3 made it to blast, sET c/p
    FET#1 Aug 2012 2 blasts transferred BFN
    IVF#2 Oct 2012
    16R/6M/6F/2-8 cell grade 1 transfer
    Beta 1-237.9, Beta 2-566, Beta 3-8657
    US 6w3d shows one baby w/ HB 115
    US 7w1d no more heartbeat/ D&C 11/30/12 normal karyotype
    IVF#3 Mar 2013
    6R/4M/4F 1 compacting and 2-8 cell transfer
    ectopic pg MTX given 3 month break from TTC

    IVF#4 Sept 2013--BFN
    IVF#5-7 Apr 2014, Jun 2014 and Aug 2014 banking embryos for CCS testing. Praying for normals! Image and video hosting by TinyPic imageimage

    http://i61.tinypic.com/34zll06
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  • Km672Km672 member
    I wish I could give you a big hug!!
    I'm glad you're only going in for a half a day... Take very good care for yourself. I hope the day flies by!!!

    Me (32) DOR, elevated NK Cells/ 2 copies of MTHFR mutation/ MH (35) azoo/high DFI   (TTC#1 since 2009)

    IVFs#1-4: (4/10-2/12) all BFN

    Surprise Bfp (9/11) - c/p

    DS IUI#1-2 (9/12, 10/12) - BFN

    DS IVF: (11/12) - BFN

    DE/DS IVF#1: (10/13) - 2 day 3 embies transferred-BFFN

    FET of 2 day 6 blasts: (12/13) - c/p

    DE/DS IVF #2: (4/14) - 1 day 5 blast transferred...BFFN...again.

    FET 5/14: 1 day 5 hatching blast transferred...another BFFN

    Repeat SHG 6/14-normal / Endometrial Receptivity Array biopsy 7/14-Receptive Uterus

    New RE, additional testing reveals elevated NK Cells

    FET of 1 day 5 blast (RE recommends transferring 1 due to elevated NK cells) with lovenox, steroids & intralipids in October

     

     

     

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  • DoublePortionDoublePortion member
    Thinking of you today...hope your coworkers have taken it easy on you. ((hugs))

    ***signature & ticker warning***

    Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
    AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
    Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
    Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
    Stopped BCP 4/2010.
    Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
    IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
    IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
    BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
    FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
    FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013     ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
    Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt)     Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
    Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
    G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.

    If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!

    image

    image
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  • BzeetyDBzeetyD member
    Hope your day is easy and you can get home soon. Glad you've got a counseling appointment too. Keep taking good care of yourself and reaching out for support, you're doing a great job.
    BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
    TTC #1 since 1/10
    DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues

    Our lil' lost sparks:
    5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
    8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
    8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
    4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

    Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
    RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

    Moving on to IVF.

    IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

    Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
    IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
    FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
    Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14

    After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
    We are so in love with her.

    "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

    Everybody is welcome!!!
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  • PrettyAccountantPrettyAccountant member
    Hugs sweetie. When I lost my triplets I sent out an email and told everyone I was coming back and asked them to please let me approach them and to give me my space. It helped but of course there are always the ones that feel they are exempt. I hope your day went well.
    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
    Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
    AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • zazu13zazu13 member
    Hugs to you. Hope you get through the day and work is a welcome diversion rather than a painful reminder.

    Age: 35 TTC since 2005, MFI & DOR 

    IVF #1 Sep '11 - canceled poor response

     IVF #2 Nov '11  8R/8M/4F 3dt x2 - chemical

    IVF #3 April '12  11R/6M/4F 3dt x2 - m/c

    FET #1 Aug 2012  3dt x2 - BFN

    **new RE**

     IVF #4 Jan '13 BFN 11R/6M/6F 5dt x2 - BFN

     IVF #5 July '13 16R/10M/10F 5dt x2 + 1 frostie

    9dp5dt Beta 1 = 344!! 16dp5dt. Beta 2 = 4822 7wk u/s= 2 heartbeats!

    Twin girls! 3/6/14

     

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  • kflynn81kflynn81 member
    PA- I had thought about doing that and it honestly slipped my mind. Thankfully people mostly just gave me a hug and said how happy they were that I was ok and back in the office. Plus, the owner of the company apparently felt so bad for what happened he told Accounting to just pay me for the time I was out and so I got a paycheck without losing any sick or vacation time. That alone was the only thing that made me cry yesterday.
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                      

                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


                  Anniversary





    Report Reply
  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    Hugs. I'm sure it was very hard to go back. Glad your boss was awesome.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • liz4pawsliz4paws member
    edited January 2014
    Big hugs, sorry I'm late to this post but I'm glad the day went okay! That's great about the paycheck without docked sick/vacation.

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
     Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
     Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
     DH: Severe MFI

     12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
    My ovaries are just for decoration

     12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
     2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
     2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
     3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!      
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
     9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
     11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
     My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
      
        image      image 
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  • mm29mm29 member
    I cannot imagine how difficult it would have been to go back to work.  I am happy it went ok, and your boss was amazing.  ((Hugs))
    ::: Married June 2003:::
    TTC #1 since: Aug. 2008
    Me: 34, DOR, MTHFR-A1298C (heterozygous), decreased blood flow to uterus, Mild Endo
    DH: 38, Balanced translocation 5&10, unexplained MFI, normal SA and SCSA
    Tx History: IUI 1&2= BFN
    IVF# 1 W/ICSI= BFN
    IVF# 2: cancelled d/t no response
    IVF# 3= 1 egg retrieved=immature/not viable
    IVF# 4= c/p
    ***CCRM ODWU***
    Found DHs BT and Me-decreased blood flow to uterus
    Recommended DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. Decided to cycle locally
    ***New RE***
    DE IVF# 1(cycle #6) w/pgd, (freeze all): 30R, 23M, 15F, slow/poor embryo development, 4 biopsied, 1 Normal "Norm"; DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. 
    IVF# 6: (OE/DS) cancelled
    IVF# 7: (OE/DS) 1R, 1M, 1F, arrested day 5
    Plan-DE IVF# 2 (cycle #8): DE/DS in May 2015

    http://icanhazbabyz.blogspot.com/
    imageimage image 
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  • Irishlove16Irishlove16 member
    I'm so glad to hear it went okay and that you have such a great supportive boss that helped to put a smile on your face!

    Married my best friend on 9.6.11 
    Me 31 DH 29 
    TTC since 12/2011 
    Me - all normal test results 
    DH - SA #1, #2 and #3 - 0% morphology 
    Straight to IVF w/ ICSI 
    April 3 - start date for BC 
    April 18 - tentative start date for injections 
    Tentative IVF dates: ER - 4/27 and ET - 5/3!! DELAYED.
    IVF #1 - May 6 - Estrace
    May 17 - started injections!
    ER and ET end of May!! BFFN :(
    FET #1 - June 28th - BFP!!!! :)
    Beta #1 - 164, Beta #2 - 381
    1st u/s 7/16/13 - 2 sacs with yolks! 1 smaller than the other - Possible Twins?! 
    2nd u/s 7/26/13 - 1 healthy baby with heartbeat of 123bpm! Second sac empty. Next u/s 8/5/13.
    8/5/13 (7w2d) - no heartbeat. Lost our precious LO :-/
    D&C on 8/12/13 - finally neg hcg 2 months later on 10/3/13.
    Saline Songram on 10/10/13 - found polyp :-( post-poned again.
    Hysteroscopy on 10/29/13.
    FET #2 - BFP!!!! :-) 
    Beta #1 - 265, Beta #2 - 692
    12/24-12/28 (6w) - lost our LO (2nd miscarriage in a row)
    RPL panel and Karyotyping; results all normal!
    Started bcp's 1/24/14; saline sonogram 1/30/14 - All clear!!
    IVF #2 02/15/14; ER 02/26/14 - freeze all due to mild OHSS. 
    7 blasts; PGD on all 7 - all 7 normal!!!
    FET #3 4/8/14; BFP!! :-)
    Beta #1 - 235, Beta #2 - 539
    1st u/s - It's TWINS!!!!
    2nd u/s- both babies measuring on track! Heartbeats of 118 and 122!!
    EDD: Christmas Day!!!

    ** ALL ARE WELCOMED **

    image 
     image
    image  photo 866da40f5178fed79efe23fc8a4e8a_zps4498a9cc.jpgimage 
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