Adoption
PLEASE! I need advice from BM's and AP's alike
Deleted per OP's request
Christa
Adopted a baby girl in January 2013 via domestic infant adoption
"One and Done!" Now we spend our time traveling the world as a family
My Blog: Travel Fearlessly
Adopted a baby girl in January 2013 via domestic infant adoption
"One and Done!" Now we spend our time traveling the world as a family
My Blog: Travel Fearlessly
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Re: PLEASE! I need advice from BM's and AP's alike
I think you're making a lot of assumptions.
A lot of BPs need to take some time away, and open adoption relationships ebb and flow. I have no idea how old your LO's birthmom is, but she could be dealing with school, new relationships, moving, changes in family dynamics, and a host of other things. In our experience, we will go for months without hearing from DD's BM, and start to worry. Then she pops up again and we find out she was just busy with a lot of things in her life.
As for the extended family, I would definitely keep that on hold until you talk to your LO's birthmom. I would have red flags going up too, especially if you don't know directly from the BM that she was OK with this contact. I'd also be closing down some avenues for people to find out your personal information, just from a general security standpoint. I'd be weirded out that people I'd never met were sharing my mailing address.
As for the money, I'd put it in the account and just remember how much it's for. That way if you need to give it back (which I doubt would happen) it would be there for that purpose.
You may end up hearing from your LO's birthmom and find out that she's cool with all of this, and more comfortable hearing about your LO through these family members. Obviously there are other alternatives as well. In the meantime you can keep any written communication for your LO for when she's old enough to appreciate them.