New Year's and Bumpiversary

whoberry

It was exactly three years ago today that I signed up for the the bump. Little did I know my journey would lead to so many boards; TTGP, TTTC, May 2012, Miscarriage/Loss, May 2013, IF, PAIF, June 2014 and the occasional question on TTCAL.

I spent my whole New Year's Eve 2010 being depressed and crying because I didn't think we would be able to get pregnant.  I was only about 4 months into TTC but I'd expected a BFP already.  I could tell my cycles were off and I was worried. It was too early to be diagnosed infertile yet but for some reason that night stands out in my head a lot.  It was my first IF cry.  Every New Year's Eve since then has been depressing and I always find myself remembering that first one.

Last year my resolution was to do everything I could to get pregnant in 2013.  I was going to do the opposite of all the advice- totally put my life on hold and let everything revolve around treatments.  DH told me yesterday that was his secret resolution last year too. I know we didn't have any control over whether we got a BFP or not, but I think my resolution helped move me in the direction of IVF a little faster than planned.  And I'm glad it did because that was what ultimately led to success (so far!).

I expected this New Year's Eve to be a lot happier but found myself kind of depressed last night, remembering all we have been through and all the ladies who are still dealing with IF.  I feel better this morning though.  Anyhow, sorry for rambling.  I just felt like sharing with people who would understand.

Does New Year's bring up any IF issues for you?

ETA: Typos, clarity

Keephope2012

DH and I were talking at dinner last night about how many New Years eves we have talked about the next year being "the one" where we have a baby. Starting at the beginning with the nonchalant "let's see what happens" then "this is the year" and getting more concerned that it wasn't going to happen. Last year at this time we were coming off 2 attempted IVF cycles where my body did not respond and getting ready for number 3. When we though about it I almost forgot how long this baby has been in the making! Now I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my little one

sunflowermama42212

Last New Years my DH and I spent it separated. Are arguments about IF broke us apart and this year we cuddled and watched movies while talking about our baby boy inside me. It's insane how much can change in a year. I can't imagine my life without my husband and I have felt a lot of guilt over these holidays since I left him for last years but he keeps reminding me that he wouldn't change anything about our journey because in the end we still got where we wanted and are stronger.

I'm so happy you and your husband made the decision to go in full force and do what ever was needed to be pregnant with your baby that shows true strength and determination.

katekat8721

NYEs have always been just ok for me, not like Christmas and Thanksgiving (and even Halloween) which were really, really hard. When we first TTC I have planned out how I would surprise everyone with the news when Halloween... then Thanksgiving... then Christmas... came around. So for a few years those holidays were always really rough for me. Luckily NYE always just consisted of drinking a lot and crying a little when the ball dropped. Hubby and I would always kiss and pray "let this be our year!"

Like you though, 2013 I really hunkered down and focused on just us. We totally put our life on hold when we were cycling. I warned family/friends in advance that we were going to be selfish for a few months and focus strictly on our goal. I don't know if it helped get our BFP but it really helped keep me sane!

This NYE was wonderful and we have so much exciting stuff to look forward to! I have a bump going on (which family/friends love to rub and talk to already lol) and hubby and I came home early and cuddled on the couch just talking about how awesome next year would be. I can't wait till we're all on SAIF together posting pics of our babies

jezebel57

NYE always is sentimental for me.  Seeing the ball drop and thinking of all I wanted but couldn't have year after year was difficult for me.  Last year I joined the bump (IF) in November and I was starting to get excited because we had just gone to a new RE in December and had a plan for IVF in February.  I was really thinking this was going to be our year.  When that IVF failed, I was devastated, and didn't have much hope for the next one that was planned for May.  That whole cycle I was pessimistic (we had transferred a 4 cell, 5 cell and 6 cell on day 3, which was the best we had- the other 2 didn't make it to freeze or day 5) and figured I may have to get used to being child free.  When the May IVF worked and we found out not only was it twins, but they were due on my birthday (2/4) it was like the universe finally had granted me this wish.  Now they are coming a month early, but I still think its awesome that their official due date was on my birthday, which makes them that much more amazing gifts to us.