Moments of disbelief

stefuge

Does the shock and moments of disbelief ever go away?  I hate those moments when something will trigger either a memory, or a plan for our future, or something, and I'll realize, almost like it's a brand new idea all over again, that we lost our little boy.  That he is never coming home with us, never going to grow up, never get to be a part of our day to day lives, and it just feels like a punch in the gut.  Does this ever go away?  Does the fact of our loss ever become so ingrained in my mind that I won't find myself feeling the pain and disbelief anew all over again?  Because I really hate those moments, and I feel like they still happen so frequently, even four months out. 

Does anyone else feel this way? 

BrittianyM

Sorry hun. I still have those moments all the time and I am 7 months out. Always feel like it is not real.

kz's_girlygirl

I am right there too. In my mind, Jesse lived 1,000 lives. It makes no sense that not a single one was real. Thinking of you and hoping the edge comes off

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY***

I will say that it's gotten easier for me, but it took almost a year for me to fully accept that Devon was gone, that he was never coming back, that I would never be able to hold him again. I'm not sure I would be where I am without lots of support from my family and a stint in therapy; I was so lost the first year and absolutely drowning in grief.

Even now, more than a year later, I still have those moments. I cried on every major holiday this year because it still hurt to not have Devon celebrating with us. It still feels weird to not have him with us. My hope is that it gets easier for you, but I don't know if those moments of disbelief will ever truly fade. **hugs**

Poisonives

Im so sorry, dear. Just this afternoon I felt the baby flicker in my tummy while I was at work. I missed every moment when he was still in me. I hate it and at the same time I love it too.

schulme2

I'm so sorry. I still have them, just less often now 8 months out. Omg, I can't believe it's almost been 8 months. Big hugs.

stefuge

schulme2 said:

I'm so sorry. I still have them, just less often now 8 months out. Omg, I can't believe it's almost been 8 months. Big hugs.

((Hugs))

Heatherhah

After over 2 years it still seems so unreal to me. But the pain is different after 2 years. I miss my daughter and think all the time what she would be doing but the disbelief and shock is almost gone at this point. I hate the feeling I have and I know it will never change. But I also do smile often thinking of my sweet baby it doesn't get easier it just gets different.

Heather 

stefuge

it doesn't get easier it just gets different.

Heather 

I like this. Thanks for sharing.