It's all about meeee!!!!

Bliss+Berry

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12212648/vent-about-shower#latest

Drecab

Lol....have you seen the 'baby showers are about buying people what they need" post? I wanted to pull my hair out!

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Drecab

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a46731643/post_baby_shower?cpg=3&csi=2440546783&pd=-1

It's the same thread. These women all need to be put in a room and be lobotomized. The replies just make my head hurt.

Drecab

I can't even look anymore. The last post I read was about someone buying cheap summer clothes that the mother wouldn't dare put on her babies delicate skin and how offended she was to have to take time out of her precious day to try and return them.

They should be sterilized.

SingleMom31

The thread keeps getting better - someone jumped in with the awesome advice to just throw your own shower. Eyeroll.

Luna C

OK, some of the comments are crazy.... but a shower AFTER the birth seems equally crazy to me. 

Of course you can't "expect" a gift from anyone, but let's be honest that one of the main points of the shower is to give gifts to the new parents. Doing so after they will have bought virtually everything they need is kooky. Of course it happens sometimes when the labor happens very early, but planning to do so is silly.

It seems to me in that initial thread the smart thing to do would be to have a shower at the normal time (before birth) and then do a meet-and-greet for the relatives who couldn't attend the shower. 

Luna C

msspeedymarie said:

Some religions don't permit showers, or even buying baby stuff, before the baby is born. 

But obviously not the posters religion or culture, so this point is ... kind of pointless. 

SingleMom31

Luna C said:

OK, some of the comments are crazy.... but a shower AFTER the birth seems equally crazy to me. 

Of course you can't "expect" a gift from anyone, but let's be honest that one of the main points of the shower is to give gifts to the new parents. Doing so after they will have bought virtually everything they need is kooky. Of course it happens sometimes when the labor happens very early, but planning to do so is silly.

It seems to me in that initial thread the smart thing to do would be to have a shower at the normal time (before birth) and then do a meet-and-greet for the relatives who couldn't attend the shower. 

But, she can't dictate the terms of the gift (the shower) that her aunt is going to give her. If she doesn't like the gift being offered, the only (polite) option that she has is to decline it.

But, if the aunt is offering and the reason for the delay is so that her sisters can be there (including the grandma to be), why would you chance antagonizing her husbands side of the family by refusing? If it were me, I'd accept graciously, look forward to a party with cake, and be thrilled that I'd be getting clothes/diapers/books/etc. for the LO.

Luna C

SingleMom31 said:

But, she can't dictate the terms of the gift (the shower) that her aunt is going to give her. If she doesn't like the gift being offered, the only (polite) option that she has is to decline it.

I didn't say she should. But people on this thread are acting like she's the antichrist for being disappointed about what is frankly a pretty crappy suggestion from the hostess. 

Of course it's the hostess' call how to do the party. But if, say, she decided to host it on one of those dinner-cruise boats even though she knows the mother-to-be is terrified of boats, that's a shitty hostess.

I think scheduling the party at the convenience of a bunch of extended family members at the expense of the alleged honoree is at best dumb, and at worst passive-aggressive bitchiness. She has a right to be annoyed about it and this is the place to vent about it -- not to the hostess. Which appears to be exactly what she did. 

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Luna C

If the "gift" is an obvious inconvenience, yes you can be annoyed.
I guarantee if someone gifted you a bag of dog shit for your garden you would drop this genteel act you love to rant on about.

Meery82

Luna C said:

If the "gift" is an obvious inconvenience, yes you can be annoyed. I guarantee if someone gifted you a bag of dog shit for your garden you would drop this genteel act you love to rant on about.

That shit IS good for your garden though. Especially if you don't have a dog. ;;)

soylatte

Dead horse. But a serious question for those of you out there who have given a shower or party honoring someone before. Do you ask what the bride/ mom to be / bday person would prefer, out of courtesy to them and do your best to plan around it, OR do you survey all the guests and come up with what's best for all of them? Never mind the gifts, etc.I'm just asking how you personally plan a party for someone you'd like honor in some way.

SingleMom31

soylatte said:

Dead horse. But a serious question for those of you out there who have given a shower or party honoring someone before. Do you ask what the bride/ mom to be / bday person would prefer, out of courtesy to them and do your best to plan around it, OR do you survey all the guests and come up with what's best for all of them? Never mind the gifts, etc.I'm just asking how you personally plan a party for someone you'd like honor in some way.

I don't think that I ever go all the way to one side or the other.  For example, our busy time at work is mid-January through mid-April (it's an accounting firm/tax time), and it affects several members of our family (we're a freakish family with like 10 accountants).  Most of the year, our jobs are pretty normal, but often, we'll put in 60-80 hours/week during that time.  There are days when I don't see my family awake, so I generally don't react well to others trying to add extra stuff into the mix.  Now, my little brother is getting married in the summer (they haven't set a date yet, but let's use June for the sake of argument).  We'll all kindly offer his FI a shower for sometime in May.  If she responded, "That's really sweet, but March would be better," there would be serious side eying.  Would we try to accomodate her?  Likely.  But, we'd sure as heck all complain about her in the process.

Drecab

RedheadBaker said:

Luna C said:

If the "gift" is an obvious inconvenience, yes you can be annoyed.
I guarantee if someone gifted you a bag of dog shit for your garden you would drop this genteel act you love to rant on about.

How is a shower after the birth inconvenient? It's only inconvenient if she is relying on the shower to provide her with all the necessary baby gear, which is wrong.

What she said....that's wrong!