Reality check

MoFree

I have been having a nonstop pity party since my BFN two weeks. One thing about IF I especially hate is how it's hard to celebrate other people's good news, even when they've been through the same $hit as I have because I'm hurting so much.

I read about a few really tragic pg losses on the IFV and PAIF boards lately that have me wondering why creating a family has to be so difficult for so many couples. No matter how much it hurts or whether we have another successful pregnancy, it is so much easier to come home to a happy, healthy toddler than to an empty house.

TJ1979

Hugs MoFree. IF is a wretched bitch and totally unfair.

kzawisl

Amen. I've neen feeling really sh*tty lately, because we're saving up for another round, to TTC #3. And then I think: you've got two beautiful healthy children, a girl AND a boy, what more could you want? But I just feel like our family is not complete yet. IF is a wretched b*tch.

MoFree

@kzawisl What sucks is when IF dictates your family size.

kzawisl

^ yes. Definitely this.

pb_bride

Hugs.

luvboston

Hugs the hurt of this never goes away.

carrera317

* hugs* We all know what you mean.  It's so strange how even our own success (coming home to your child) can't take those feelings away.  I remember feeling so alone when I was pregnant years ago because I wasn't "like the other pregnant women" because of the IF torture.  I think for a lot of us it never goes away.  I am glad we have each other.  

imoverit

Yeah I read those too and it made me feel very grateful to at least have my LO to come home to. IF is so very hard. You hit the nail on the head about it dictating family size. That should be our choice not IF. Hugs mama.

Dragonfly1226

I couldn't have said it better myself. I hate that you are struggling again, but I also agree with you 100%. It is different after having a LO. The thing is that when we were TTC #2 (and #3) I think the heartbreak was there. The thought of possibly never being able to give DS a sibling made me so sad. I also always mourn the experience of being able to have sex, take a HPT, find out you are pregnant, and have a baby. I will say that DH and I feel incredibly lucky every day that we have three beautiful children.

Cwhitaker27

So sorry you're feeling down Mo! I agree with everything PP's said. I also think that in the back of my mind after having DS#1 I always thought #2 would be easy and happen quickly because we figured out what worked....definitely not the case. Hang in there.

mcgeeva

STinks big time but your right..some times its easier to take a step back and see how lucky we are to have gotten our little ones

mnj05

I'm sorry you're feeling down, but I totally understand. I've had a couple of friends (one from the PAIF board actually) that had some terrible losses they're still working through. It makes me so eternally grateful for H, but that double edged sword of also feeling like I may be unwillingly one and done. We have a goal to visit the RE again in October/November but pulling together the money is going to be really hard.

IF just plain sucks and I hope you start feeling better soon.

queenbone

IF totally sucks. It just isn't fair why some have to work so hard. I can't even deal with the TTC threads on my BMB.