Is there life after 3 failed IVFs?

Toriables

Hi ladies, I'm sorry I've been sort of distant lately. I was trying to do the whole "don't think about it and it will happen" . It didn't happen. My third ET of 2 perfect little embies started with a tentative BFP, but ended with a beta of 69 then 23. The fat lady has sung. What on earth am I supposed to do from here? I can't stop crying long enough to carry on a conversation. And my RE hasn't called me, not that I could probably talk to him without sobbing like a complete idiot. I thought that IVF was pretty much the end of the line. What do you do when you reach the end on that line?? Fall of the cliff? Sorry for being so depressing, I'm lost.

babydreams13

I'm so sorry.  This whole process is so emotional.  I'm right there with you (2 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FET) and I have no idea what to do from here.  It really doesn't make any sense. I swore IVF would work for us since we have no major issues but nope.  As for me, I have an appointment with a new RE in February and will be doing immune testing.  I really love my RE but I have been going to him for a year and nothing.  We are going to try IVF one more time with a new RE and if it doesn't work then I have no idea what we will do.  

I hope you speak to your RE and get some answers.  Maybe get some second opinions and more testing.  Hang in there- this sucks so bad but something has to work for us.  

Lacyj67

Well hopefully after three failed ivfs you have some possible reasons as to why this may have not worked. I had three failed ivfs due to very very poor response and DOR. We moved onto donor eggs. So yes there is another world of IVF options out there if your willing to explore thenm and it takes a lot of thinking and time to come to terms with them. Good luck moving forward.

MrsC430

I'm so sorry. I'm also right there with you - I'm in the 2WW for FET #3. If this cycle fails, our options in terms of what's next are not looking good. It's truly an empty and awful feeling.

After our last FET failed, our RE had DH and I both do the genetic karyotyping test to rule out chromosome issues. I also had the uterine scratch procedure done with this FET (it supposedly helps with implantation). Our karyotyping was normal & the verdict isn't in yet on if the scratch helped, but maybe those are things to ask about?

Know that you aren't alone & if you ever need to vent, feel free to PM me. Sending you hugs!

poohniki

I'm so, so sorry. I've been at the end of my line a few times but I realized I don't want to be child-free. So I changed the plan- and quite a few times. Sometimes when you change plans you have to go completely out of your comfort zone.  It may mean trying a new RE. Possibly more testing is needed to find a correct diagnosis. You may want to look into a RPL panel if you haven't already had one.   

My RE is pretty good about having a back up plan if what we are doing doesn't work. At this point in the game I need to know its not the end and there is something else to try. It helps when things don't turn out.

((hugs))

Mrs.McIrish

Is there life after 3 IVFs? Yes.. I'm about to do my 7th. Your choices are to continue treatment, to stop treatment and be CFNBC, adopt or try 3rd party Repro. Only you and your DH can decide what route you want to take. It's not easy and it may take a long time. You may quit a few times along the way and then decide to try something else.. There's no wrong answer.. I've been at this for 3.5 years. It's been the hardest thing to endure of my life. Somehow you go on.

hmz819

McIrish wrote exactly what I was thinking. I'm going to do ivf #5 and possibly #6 starting in March. I think seeing a new RE and immune testing are good steps to take.

Km672

Ugg... Yes, there is life, but it's hard.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I totally get it. It feels like the end of the world, but you still have options.

We are about to start IVF #7 in a few months...I still can't believe it.

Take some time to do some things just for you. Even if you don't feel like it, take care of yourself.

Go to your wtf appt, listen to what your RE says. If it doesn't sit well with you, get a 2nd opinion. Try to be open minded. Hang in there, you're down but definitely not out!!

LSN8308

its never over until you decide it is. i am so sorry you have to go through this again and i wish we can all say it gets easier because you get used to the routine of it all but its not. i agree with the PP, definitely look into either a second opinion or see if your RE is open to doing further testing and trying something different next time. T&P are with you! *hugs*

Tenyearwait

So sorry For your loss. This journey is so rough.

RunCC37

(((((hugs))))) I'm so sorry you're going through this... it is absolutely the worst feeling in the world. PPs have already made excellent points and pretty much said it all. I know it's hard to imagine, but eventually the tears will stop flowing long enough for you to be able to think it out and figure out your next steps... whatever they may be... there is no right or wrong decision in all of this. The only thing that is certain is that it is incredibly hard, but somehow you and your husband will find your way through it. (((((((hugs)))))))

zazu13

What McIrish said... I felt the same way wafted my 4th embryo transfer resulted in a negative. We took a break to regroup, made plans for donor cycles or adoption and then gave ivf one last shot. We are so glad we did. Big hugs to you. Hope the path becomes more clear as you press forward.

TaylorH84

I'm so sorry...we too are trying to pick up our pieces and figure out our next steps. If we move fwd with IVF we will definitely be getting a second opinion. Goodluck

Toriables

I just want to thank everyone for their honest and kind responses. You are the only ones who really and truly get what this feels like. Oh sure, my mother cries for me and says how hard it is to watch her own child struggle. Everyone knows someone who went through something similar. Only women who have walked a mile throught the maze that is IF treatment know how I really feel. RE called, just like he said he would, and he was kind and understanding. He laid out lots of options, including petitioning the board to let us start another fresh cycle and retrieval so we can biopsy another round of embryos. But when he was done explaining all of the different options, I told him I want to continue with plan A..., take a month off, then prepare to transfer FET #4, our last embyro in the freezer. Still do uterine scratching and steroids, lovenox, etc. if FET 4 doesn't do the trick, take another break, then have another retrieval and biopsy all of the embryos to try to find the best ones. He compared this entire process to my job in the ER- if someone has a broken arm, you don't automatically prepare to pull the plug. You treat the problem, try to find ways to solve it, and keep trying until you get it fixed. It may take a few different attempts. But you don't go out And amputate the arm, or call in dr kevorkian because your first few attempts at fixing the broken arm didn't work. Ok. Moving forward. I appreciate all of your kindness and hugs. And this isn't over by a long shot.

Lm92599

((Hugs)) so glad you have a plan to move forward. T&P are with you!

cherylanne3550

We will be doing IVF #5 in June, I feel your pain!   GOOD LUCK!

scooteriste

I just wanted to say that you ladies are all so brave and an inspiration to me as I look forward from a failed first IVF cycle. Hugs to you all.

sorrellam30

I'm glad your RE called and you're feeling better. I've been thinking a lot about a child free life mainly because we are becoming financially tapped out, but coming here makes me realize I'm not alone. I hope your bfp is coming soon

SKLH

I'm so sorry you're having oto go through this. I felt the same way after our 2nd FET failed. DH told me "I will do this next cycle if you want but after that I'm DONE seeing you got hrough this!" We switched RE's and are trying a new protocol, intralipids, steriods, CGH testing... AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. You have to try until you feell you are ready to move on. If you don't feelt hat way, you're not there yet. Hang in there!

Emily771

hi!
i understand you and feel your pain bcz was in your situation. i could'nt get pregnant by myself and my doctor suggested me to do IVF. but i've done 3 and no results. and then my doctor tell that my ovaries might produce bad eggs. so the only option for me were donated eggs. my result now is having my beautiful baby