My Christmas was peaceful. First time in my life I really didnt care about gifts. Went to church and was deeply moved by the homily. There's a feeling of a peaceful happiness and hope.
Hope everyone had a peaceful holiday!
How did your Christmas celebration go?
Did you find it difficult to celebrate while grieving?
Christmas was hard for me, I had a plastic smile the whole time, I felt like I was dying inside. I thought of my baby the whole time. i'm flooded with so many emotions right now:
Did you attend a church service? We had our church service the sunday before and like always I was in tears.
Did you feel renewed by it? I feel better when i'm at church, that's where I can let it all out. Then I get home and it all hits me..
How did your Christmas celebration go? It was good to be with family and just spend time together. My family celebrates on Christmas Eve and that morning I was pretty weepy and had a hard time convincing myself to get out of bed and take on the day. It ended up being a lot better than I had imagined though. My whole family took a few minutes to remember and cry together after church, before opening presents, which really meant a lot to me. I was afraid it was going to be more like our Thanksgiving where it felt like nobody remembered. (Zedekiah passed away just two months ago at 4 days old of unknown causes).
Did you find it difficult to celebrate while grieving? It was hard to feel like celebrating sometimes, but I think celebrating Christmas and the birth of baby Jesus meant so much more to me this year.
Did you attend a church service? Did you feel renewed by it?
I did attend church. It was good, but I had a hard time being really focused. It was very hard also because there was a little bitty baby a few rows behind us.
How did your Christmas celebration go?
We celebrated separately with both of our families. Our time with my family was really great, and I felt like Colton was a part of it, with gifts that were given and what we talked about. Our time with DHs family was really really hard. I felt like I couldn't grieve, that I had to pretend everything was okay, and I felt like no one remembered Colton. I broke down Christmas morning, nearly had a panic attack, and had to leave the house for a while with some made up excuse just to get away from everyone. And DHs family did not understand why I was so upset. "What's the big deal?" was actually said to my DH.
Did you find it difficult to celebrate while grieving?
Yes very. I felt overwhelmed by my emotions and trying to contain it all, feeling like I couldn't grieve, that I actually felt numb for the two days with his family. I just wanted to get through it and come home.
Did you attend a church service? Did you feel renewed by it?
We attended a candlelight service Christmas Eve. It was beautiful and I wish I could have enjoyed it more but it was really hard. Besides feeling so overwhelmed, the woman leading the singing was very pregnant, so that was just depressing.
Me: 32 DH: 33 High School Sweethearts Married 5/28/2005
DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16. Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
Re: Faith Friday
It was good to be with family and just spend time together. My family celebrates on Christmas Eve and that morning I was pretty weepy and had a hard time convincing myself to get out of bed and take on the day. It ended up being a lot better than I had imagined though. My whole family took a few minutes to remember and cry together after church, before opening presents, which really meant a lot to me. I was afraid it was going to be more like our Thanksgiving where it felt like nobody remembered. (Zedekiah passed away just two months ago at 4 days old of unknown causes).
Did you find it difficult to celebrate while grieving?
It was hard to feel like celebrating sometimes, but I think celebrating Christmas and the birth of baby Jesus meant so much more to me this year.
Did you attend a church service? Did you feel renewed by it?
We celebrated separately with both of our families. Our time with my family was really great, and I felt like Colton was a part of it, with gifts that were given and what we talked about. Our time with DHs family was really really hard. I felt like I couldn't grieve, that I had to pretend everything was okay, and I felt like no one remembered Colton. I broke down Christmas morning, nearly had a panic attack, and had to leave the house for a while with some made up excuse just to get away from everyone. And DHs family did not understand why I was so upset. "What's the big deal?" was actually said to my DH.
Did you find it difficult to celebrate while grieving?
Yes very. I felt overwhelmed by my emotions and trying to contain it all, feeling like I couldn't grieve, that I actually felt numb for the two days with his family. I just wanted to get through it and come home.
Did you attend a church service? Did you feel renewed by it?
We attended a candlelight service Christmas Eve. It was beautiful and I wish I could have enjoyed it more but it was really hard. Besides feeling so overwhelmed, the woman leading the singing was very pregnant, so that was just depressing.