FTM Know-It-Alls

Salsera29

Ok I think this will be fun, and hopefully it won't turn into a shitshow but if it does...still fun. What is one thing you've judged parents for, that you've decided you're going to get right? STM, TTM, etc feel free to laugh at us. 

Here's mine: My kids will behave in restaurants. They will not get out of their seats and run around, they will not play with food, and they will not be lost in electronics. That's what crayons/books/quiet toys are for. I was raised this way, as was DH, so I know it can be done! 

michellexm

Love it.  That's my wishful thinking as well.  We'll see how it goes!

tealowl

I won't be plunking my baby down in a shopping cart wearing only a onesie and with a dirty face.

Shopping carts have poop and pee germs on it, grossssssss. It's like plunking your baby in a toilet.

Big+Lil

I've learned to never judge parents of toddlers. Because holymolymotherhell.

I agree about restaurants. It can be done, and it takes a lot of energy but worth it.

TricksyPixie

My kid will be perfect in every single way.

jus' kidding. I'm not really sure,because I'm not naive enough to think I'm going to get everything right and that my kid will follow my every instruction. But my kid WILL have a strict bedtime (I know people who let their kids stay up past 1 a.m. Yeah. Do not want.) and I will read and sing to my kid every night. Or something. Like I said, I'm not naive enough to think everything will go just so.

SuperTinkerham

I don't want to be the parent that has a kid watching an ipad at restaurants. I thought I was going to brain MIL when she said she was downloading apps for unborn nephew.

helloblueeyes

I can't think of any specifics, but i look forward to showing up my mom. Terrible of me, i know. 

She is a shitty parent to my two youngest siblings. They are complete brats and she spends all day on facebook playing games and ignoring them. 

She even offered to watch my kid and i told her no, you can't handle your own. She replied "Yea, but i don't like mine." I shit you not. 

She has been pulling the whole "just you wait" bullshit on me since she's known. It takes all my strength not to go postal on her, it's even driving DH nuts.

Ooohh. - I will not feed my kid nothing but over sugared and processed crap food. Thinking about my moms parenting made me remember that.

SuperTinkerham

I don't want to feed my kid McDonald's.

Salsera29

I used to make fun of my sister for her anti-tv and anti-electronics stance for my toddler niece, but then I read the research...yikes...if they're under 2 it's really bad! (That being said, I watched Sesame Street like a mofo from birth and I'm pretty damn smart. But the TV shows are very different now).

acciovino

Salsera29 said:

Ok I think this will be fun, and hopefully it won't turn into a shitshow but if it does...still fun. What is one thing you've judged parents for, that you've decided you're going to get right? STM, TTM, etc feel free to laugh at us. 

Here's mine: My kids will behave in restaurants. They will not get out of their seats and run around, they will not play with food, and they will not be lost in electronics. That's what crayons/books/quiet toys are for. I was raised this way, as was DH, so I know it can be done! 

LOL it's amazing how stubborn some toddlers can be. I had this mindset as well! I don't let DD get down and run around, but she has thrown some nasty fits for not letting her. Some kids are better than other though, and some parents are better at dealing with them.

I also agree with them not getting lost in electronics but TBH, sometimes mommy needs to take a shit and not have an audience. iPads are awesome.

abunai523

I agree with the restaurant thing. My parents did it with us, I will do it with mine. I am going to do my damnedest to set the expectations and stick to them, it won't be perfect I know, but I also know from experience it can be done. Also, I will not need a babysitter just to help get the kids to go to bed. Seriously, I know a family like this and it's SAD. their 4 year old runs the show and even the 2 year old knows it.

orchidhunter

Ha, I have a long list of things I would never do... but I know I'm very naive

No fast food, minimal processed food. Perfect in restaurants or they don't get to go. No iPads... the list goes on.

Salsera29

Caitlinrj said:

Salsera29 said:

Ok I think this will be fun, and hopefully it won't turn into a shitshow but if it does...still fun. What is one thing you've judged parents for, that you've decided you're going to get right? STM, TTM, etc feel free to laugh at us. 

Here's mine: My kids will behave in restaurants. They will not get out of their seats and run around, they will not play with food, and they will not be lost in electronics. That's what crayons/books/quiet toys are for. I was raised this way, as was DH, so I know it can be done! 

LOL it's amazing how stubborn some toddlers can be. I had this mindset as well! I don't let DD get down and run around, but she has thrown some nasty fits for not letting her. Some kids are better than other though, and some parents are better at dealing with them.

I also agree with them not getting lost in electronics but TBH, sometimes mommy needs to take a shit and not have an audience. iPads are awesome.

Oh yeah I will definitely let LO play some games here and there...just not at the dinner table. Lol at taking a shit without an audience...I am not looking forward to that issue!

acciovino

Salsera29 said:

Caitlinrj said:

Salsera29 said:

Ok I think this will be fun, and hopefully it won't turn into a shitshow but if it does...still fun. What is one thing you've judged parents for, that you've decided you're going to get right? STM, TTM, etc feel free to laugh at us. 

Here's mine: My kids will behave in restaurants. They will not get out of their seats and run around, they will not play with food, and they will not be lost in electronics. That's what crayons/books/quiet toys are for. I was raised this way, as was DH, so I know it can be done! 

LOL it's amazing how stubborn some toddlers can be. I had this mindset as well! I don't let DD get down and run around, but she has thrown some nasty fits for not letting her. Some kids are better than other though, and some parents are better at dealing with them.

I also agree with them not getting lost in electronics but TBH, sometimes mommy needs to take a shit and not have an audience. iPads are awesome.

Oh yeah I will definitely let LO play some games here and there...just not at the dinner table. Lol at taking a shit without an audience...I am not looking forward to that issue!

It's a blasty blast. Especially if you have animals too. Everyone comes for the show! DH is always like "lock the damn door". Well if I do that then I have a toddler screaming and banging on the door. It's easier to just let her in and have an awkward moment then to try and force one out to stop the screaming.

Salsera29

Caitlinrj said:

Salsera29 said:

Caitlinrj said:

Salsera29 said:

Ok I think this will be fun, and hopefully it won't turn into a shitshow but if it does...still fun. What is one thing you've judged parents for, that you've decided you're going to get right? STM, TTM, etc feel free to laugh at us. 

Here's mine: My kids will behave in restaurants. They will not get out of their seats and run around, they will not play with food, and they will not be lost in electronics. That's what crayons/books/quiet toys are for. I was raised this way, as was DH, so I know it can be done! 

LOL it's amazing how stubborn some toddlers can be. I had this mindset as well! I don't let DD get down and run around, but she has thrown some nasty fits for not letting her. Some kids are better than other though, and some parents are better at dealing with them.

I also agree with them not getting lost in electronics but TBH, sometimes mommy needs to take a shit and not have an audience. iPads are awesome.

Oh yeah I will definitely let LO play some games here and there...just not at the dinner table. Lol at taking a shit without an audience...I am not looking forward to that issue!

It's a blasty blast. Especially if you have animals too. Everyone comes for the show! DH is always like "lock the damn door". Well if I do that then I have a toddler screaming and banging on the door. It's easier to just let her in and have an awkward moment then to try and force one out to stop the screaming.

Is there ANY chance I will be able to keep pooping private? Or should I just let DH in the room now to get used to it? Lol

[Deleted User]

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Salsera29

LiteraChick said:

Gahhhh that whole "just you wait..." response from people is just so condescending!!!

I mean, NO SHIT we are going to run into things we didn't expect. NO SHIT things are going to happen and we will have to resort to changing our values and rules. NO SHIT support the head/sleep while I can/kids throw tantrums/no free time/no more time for sex ((at first))

We aren't in the 1800s where there isn't published literature and websites where a lot of us have absolutely haunted since we decided to get pregnant. It's not like we aren't surrounded by friends and family who have small children. I just think saying all of that quoted cliche crap listed above is so derogatory and patronizing. I'm glad you consider yourself a PhD in child rearing and education, but your unwarranted and unasked opinion is slightly laughable.

Grrr.
Rant over.

Do you mean in general? Cause I don't think anybody did that here. Yet. 

biglewzer

My kid is a maniac in restaurants. Although, I have similar beliefs about what her behavior should be. It's hard to rationalize and calm a 2 year old having a meltdown. If she wants to sit on the floor under the table (yes, it's gross- I don't care) and play on my phone while I eat. Well, so be it.

She's getting incrementally better with every dining event. And I have high hopes for her in the coming years. But at this age and phase she's in...not a fucking chance. I'm just happy she's quiet and not disturbing others.

TricksyPixie

LiteraChick said:

Gahhhh that whole "just you wait..." response from people is just so condescending!!!

I mean, NO SHIT we are going to run into things we didn't expect. NO SHIT things are going to happen and we will have to resort to changing our values and rules. NO SHIT support the head/sleep while I can/kids throw tantrums/no free time/no more time for sex ((at first))/I'm going to get even bigger in the belly/it will be harder to shave/screw/paint my toes/do my hair/wear heels. But dammit I'm going to try!

We aren't in the 1800s where there isn't published literature and websites where a lot of us have absolutely haunted since we decided to get pregnant. It's not like we aren't surrounded by friends and family who have small children. I just think saying all of that quoted cliche crap listed above is so derogatory and patronizing. I'm glad you consider yourself a PhD in child rearing and education, but your unwarranted and unasked opinion is slightly laughable.

Grrr.
Rant over.

Someone's got her panties in a twist this evening. I get being offended by comments, but that was like hurling a nuclear bomb at an ant for being in the way. Chill, bro. Ain't nothin' meant by it.

LuluPMW

My kids will not play naked out back where at least 5 neighbors plus any creepy creepsters walking by can see.

My kids will say please and thank you because that's just basic manners.

My kids will not run wild in other peoples homes unless they are in a kid friendly zone.

Just hope I dont eat my words!

biglewzer

Salsera29 said:

Caitlinrj said:

Salsera29 said:

Caitlinrj said:

Salsera29 said:

Ok I think this will be fun, and hopefully it won't turn into a shitshow but if it does...still fun. What is one thing you've judged parents for, that you've decided you're going to get right? STM, TTM, etc feel free to laugh at us. 

Here's mine: My kids will behave in restaurants. They will not get out of their seats and run around, they will not play with food, and they will not be lost in electronics. That's what crayons/books/quiet toys are for. I was raised this way, as was DH, so I know it can be done! 

LOL it's amazing how stubborn some toddlers can be. I had this mindset as well! I don't let DD get down and run around, but she has thrown some nasty fits for not letting her. Some kids are better than other though, and some parents are better at dealing with them.

I also agree with them not getting lost in electronics but TBH, sometimes mommy needs to take a shit and not have an audience. iPads are awesome.

Oh yeah I will definitely let LO play some games here and there...just not at the dinner table. Lol at taking a shit without an audience...I am not looking forward to that issue!

It's a blasty blast. Especially if you have animals too. Everyone comes for the show! DH is always like "lock the damn door". Well if I do that then I have a toddler screaming and banging on the door. It's easier to just let her in and have an awkward moment then to try and force one out to stop the screaming.

Is there ANY chance I will be able to keep pooping private? Or should I just let DH in the room now to get used to it? Lol

When they first start crawling and walking your only options are putting them in their crib/playyard and letting them scream while you shit, or letting them sit in the bathroom with you. 

Pick your poison. 

BPer

I'd say I do 90% of the things I said I'd never do, and the other 10% remains to be seen (basically shit my nieces and nephews do, but they're older). I probably actually broke more of these 'promises' to myself because I SAH for a year. I would have done most anything for a break. Sometimes, it's about maintaining your sanity.

[Deleted User]

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seells

I'm gonna be honest here. DD was watching Netflix on Hs phone at lunch today. Hahahaha! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

I always had a lot of expectations for what I would/wouldn't do. Some you stick too, some you bend. Sometimes it's like you're just trying to survive the day and if that means A watches the Big Bang theory while she eats chicken nuggets in her underwear hey, it is what it is.

[Deleted User]

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Aab7114

I find myself judging people who spoil their kids and all the bad behaviors that come with that. I really really don't want a spoiled kid, who feels they are entitled to whatever they please. Although, as I don't have a kid yet we will see what happens!

BoraBoraBaby

I really don't want to be the mom that says "no" but doesn't follow through. That has always irritated the living piss out of me.

Tena7583

I think it's just best to be prepared for anything. Go with the flow. This is my first pregnancy and I really don't know what to expect. Which maybe is a good thing. Bc if no expectations then no feelings of disappointment.

SuperKim13

I have a fantasy in my head that my children will be able to sit quietly in restaurants, church, etc.  They will say "please" and "thank you" and respect adults. 

We'll see, I guess!

biglewzer

Tena7583 said:

I think it's just best to be prepared for anything. Go with the flow. This is my first pregnancy and I really don't know what to expect. Which maybe is a good thing. Bc if no expectations then no feelings of disappointment.

I always said during my first pregnancy that I was "Team Ignorance is Bliss" and it really helped me get through everything without crazy expectations and panic attacks. 

acciovino

Salsera29 said:

Caitlinrj said:

Salsera29 said:

Caitlinrj said:

Salsera29 said:

Ok I think this will be fun, and hopefully it won't turn into a shitshow but if it does...still fun. What is one thing you've judged parents for, that you've decided you're going to get right? STM, TTM, etc feel free to laugh at us. 

Here's mine: My kids will behave in restaurants. They will not get out of their seats and run around, they will not play with food, and they will not be lost in electronics. That's what crayons/books/quiet toys are for. I was raised this way, as was DH, so I know it can be done! 

LOL it's amazing how stubborn some toddlers can be. I had this mindset as well! I don't let DD get down and run around, but she has thrown some nasty fits for not letting her. Some kids are better than other though, and some parents are better at dealing with them.

I also agree with them not getting lost in electronics but TBH, sometimes mommy needs to take a shit and not have an audience. iPads are awesome.

Oh yeah I will definitely let LO play some games here and there...just not at the dinner table. Lol at taking a shit without an audience...I am not looking forward to that issue!

It's a blasty blast. Especially if you have animals too. Everyone comes for the show! DH is always like "lock the damn door". Well if I do that then I have a toddler screaming and banging on the door. It's easier to just let her in and have an awkward moment then to try and force one out to stop the screaming.

Is there ANY chance I will be able to keep pooping private? Or should I just let DH in the room now to get used to it? Lol

DH has done it thus far, but that's because I'm usually home when he needs to go. Like I said earlier, TV, iPad, etc can distract them for a while, but sometimes if they see mommy is gone, they flip out. And obviously when they're too young for TV/iPad and too big for swing or bouncy (i.e mobile) you just have to pick your poison as biglewzer said. 

seells

SuperKim13 said:

I have a fantasy in my head that my children will be able to sit quietly in restaurants, church, etc.  They will say "please" and "thank you" and respect adults. 

We'll see, I guess!

DD has been saying "please and thank you" since she was 2! You just gotta remind them and stick with it! But I notice people are so much sweeter when DD says please when she asks for something she wants. Plus she gets a lot of free stuff that way!

biglewzer

seells said:

I have a fantasy in my head that my children will be able to sit quietly in restaurants, church, etc.  They will say "please" and "thank you" and respect adults. 

We'll see, I guess!

DD has been saying "please and thank you" since she was 2! You just gotta remind them and stick with it! But I notice people are so much sweeter when DD says please when she asks for something she wants. Plus she gets a lot of free stuff that way!

Please was my DD's third word. It's something we all say often in the house and she picked it up immediately. I think manners aren't taught, they're learned through parental example.  Just my soapbox though. 

yurmom

Don't knock iPads man...especially on an airplane. Our grandparents were probably like "I'll be damned if my kids color at a restaurant, when I was young all we had was rocks now they have crayons!!"

yurmom

Also coloring on an iPad=way easier and less mess than crayons. Sorry person my 21 month old threw her crayon at.

[Deleted User]

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1982Babies

I don't want my kid to have soda until it's like 10 or above.  DH is addicted.  Also, the sugary shit can really screw up your teeth.

biglewzer

LiteraChick said:

I am not going to make my kids eat absolutely everything on their plate. My parents did this to me as they considered it "wasteful" but we were fed absolute crap and it's caused serious eating issues with my sibs and I as adults.

I'm sure there will be room for 4 bites of this and 4 bites of that, and if they don't finish their food they don't get snacks later, etc etc but I refuse to make them swallow an entire glass of warm milk like I was made to.

I'm actually terrified of eating issues, so I try to make food nbd in our house. If you don't want to eat, don't eat. I refuse to force anything. I'm sure I'm probably creating other, different complexes she'll have, but eating issues for my daughter scare me. 

abunai523

biglewzer said:

LiteraChick said:

I am not going to make my kids eat absolutely everything on their plate. My parents did this to me as they considered it "wasteful" but we were fed absolute crap and it's caused serious eating issues with my sibs and I as adults.

I'm sure there will be room for 4 bites of this and 4 bites of that, and if they don't finish their food they don't get snacks later, etc etc but I refuse to make them swallow an entire glass of warm milk like I was made to.

I'm actually terrified of eating issues, so I try to make food nbd in our house. If you don't want to eat, don't eat. I refuse to force anything. I'm sure I'm probably creating other, different complexes she'll have, but eating issues for my daughter scare me. 

I'm not a parent yet, but I'm the same way. I'm convinced 'the clean plate club' is one of the reasons my dad has always been obese. He HAS to finish what's in front of him no matter how much is there. And I've always had issues in the other direction, being terrified of gaining weight and have had body image issues my whole life. I really hope I'm able to avoid both of those problems with my kids. Scares me.

helloblueeyes

1982Babies said:

I don't want my kid to have soda until it's like 10 or above.  DH is addicted.  Also, the sugary shit can really screw up your teeth.

This times a million! My little sis is missing her front four teeth because she is always grabbing my moms ignored soda. 

biglewzer

futuremrsbrian said:

biglewzer said:

LiteraChick said:

I am not going to make my kids eat absolutely everything on their plate. My parents did this to me as they considered it "wasteful" but we were fed absolute crap and it's caused serious eating issues with my sibs and I as adults.

I'm sure there will be room for 4 bites of this and 4 bites of that, and if they don't finish their food they don't get snacks later, etc etc but I refuse to make them swallow an entire glass of warm milk like I was made to.

I'm actually terrified of eating issues, so I try to make food nbd in our house. If you don't want to eat, don't eat. I refuse to force anything. I'm sure I'm probably creating other, different complexes she'll have, but eating issues for my daughter scare me. 

I'm not a parent yet, but I'm the same way. I'm convinced 'the clean plate club' is one of the reasons my dad has always been obese. He HAS to finish what's in front of him no matter how much is there. And I've always had issues in the other direction, being terrified of gaining weight and have had body image issues my whole life. I really hope I'm able to avoid both of those problems with my kids. Scares me.

I'm like this with scheduled meals too. "Well, it's 12:30 I must eat even though I'm not hungry because it's lunchtime and that's what you do at lunchtime."