2014 (ticker warning)

angelsnight

Is anyone a little apprehensive about the approaching new year?  When we first loss Kayla, I was a mess on the first of each month because we were just getting further and further from the month we last held her and were happy.  That subsided gradually over a few months....but I'm a little nervous to go into 2014, as it feels as though we are leaving her behind in 2013. 

Dixon813

~~Siggy Warning/PgAL mentioned~~


Yes - I was just thinking similar thoughts the past few days.  People keep saying things like "here's to a better 2014" or something along that lines, and while they don't mean any harm by it, part of me doesn't want to leave 2013 behind because it feels like we're leaving our babies behind...

Don't get me wrong, I know that 2014 gets me closer to a healthier baby (I turn 24 weeks right at the end of this year..)... but it still gives me mixed emotions...

MrsLaurenandDan

**siggy warning** I can understand that, though I hadn't thought of it that way. For me there was so much death in 2013 (not just Noah's) that I am anxious for this year to be over. A part of that was also wishing the holidays would be over too.

BrittianyM

That is exactly how I have been feeling! I don't want 2014 to come. 

stefuge

@aragosta - I love that quote!

@dixon813 - sending lots of T&P and big ((hugs)) for this week of your pregnancy! Grow baby grow!

angelsnight

aragosta said:

I love this for when I feel that way.

That's perfect!

Poisonives

I think you just explained why I am apprehensive of the coming year and the guilt I have of moving on. But what aragosta posted is just the perfect answer. You guys are awesome!

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY/pregnancy mentioned***

I felt that way when the year went from 2012 to 2013. I was looking forward to a new year because 2012 had been so freaking hard, but I also felt like I was leaving Devon behind because that was the only year I had with him [found out I was pregnant in the middle of January; he was born sleeping in August]. The first few weeks of 2013 were really hard to adjust to. I'm starting to feel a little apprehensive again as we come up to a new year, even though our rainbow will be here in a couple of weeks.

Thinking of each and every one of you as we near a new year. **hugs**

shandorfml2

I'm actually thinking differently...2013 has sucked so badly, I'm happy to see it go. I'm sure it will be really weird though.

neptunebljc

shandorfml2 said:

I'm actually thinking differently...2013 has sucked so badly, I'm happy to see it go. I'm sure it will be really weird though.

I agree.  I'm ready to move into the next year. I don't really feel guilty about it thought, im bringing Bean along.  I think of all the new things I can do and all the adventures that he is pushing me towards. 

I need to look toward the future, because there is so much death and sadness in 2013. I want some happiness

cawettig

I don't want I to turn 2014 either. I feel like this is her year and somehow leaving this year brings me farther away from her. Big hugs

TwinkleTor

Now I have mixed emotions... I was feeling like I wanted it over, but after reading this post I'm sad to leave it behind... It was my only year with Domenik physically and I don't want to move on without him. But I have something exciting come July 2014... My big wedding!!!

DevonBedford

I completely get you!
2013 was a rough year for us from beginning to end, but to say "good riddance" makes me feel like awful. What happened to our baby was awful, but he himself was a beautiful, innocent baby. Our angel. If only for a brief moment in time, that time was in 2013!

jess123456

I had very similar thoughts about 2012. I too felt like we were getting farther and farther away from our daughter. Then 2013 came and now 2014. I am starting to realize that even though we are farther and farther away from when she was alive, she will always live on as long as I keep her memory alive even if I would FAR rather her be here physically over all else.

lrichmond86

I felt this way on New year's eve 2011. I kept thinking to myself, "this is the only year that my baby was alive. I don't want it to end. " it was awful. We were at a small gathering and everyone else was celebrating as the ball dropped and I just cried and cried. In hindsight I realize that this was not good reasoning... just because the year ended didn't mean I was leaving my son behind. He's with me as much today as he was that night. Regardless, it was how I felt that night and it sucked. Wishing you all a peaceful night.

Bayberry12

I felt this way as 2012 came to an end. In a way I was sad for the year I had my daughter to end; it was the only time I had with her, but also wanted to move forward. Grief comes with so many conflicting feelings.

Hugs to all the mommas here.