Frustrated with DH

MJN9510

DH has certain tv shows he likes to watch.  I have zero interest in some of the shows.  There are some shows I dont mind watching, but dont love.  I am a reality tv girl and he hates the shows I like.  We try to spend time together after DD goes to bed, but he always has his shows on and i either go to the bedroom and watch my shows or I sit in the living room with him and surf the internet on my phone.  Every time DH sees me on my phone, he gets upset with me.  It doesnt matter if he is not paying any attention to me or not, he gets mad that I am on my phone.  I, of course, get frustrated that he even cares what I am doing when he is clearly watching his shows anyway.  I know it sounds so petty.  But seriously, why get mad at me for surfing the net or texting a friend, when he is glued to the tv anyhow?  Do any of you have this battle at your house?

MJN9510

I agree with you.  I wouldnt mind if we watched a movie together or even a show that we could agree on where we are interacting during it (talking about whats happening-cuddling, etc).  But there is never any discussion on what we are watching.  He just automatically turns the tv to what he wants to watch and thats it.  So, that is why I get annoyed when he looks over at me and gets angry because I am on my phone.  What in the heck does it matter to him?  I just dont get it.

missyishere

There are often nights when DH is watching what he wants while I play on the internet.  We also enjoy watching movies together and consider that nice time together.  Regardless, it sounds like he's maybe a little jealous? We don't fight about it, because we're both enjoying something we like. We do compromise sometimes on what we watch, because it might matter to one over the other.  I do try to watch my shows at other times, so he can watch what he wants.  Sometimes it's the other way around.  

MJN9510

I agree with you,missyishere. I dont ever complain about the shows he is watching.  If it isnt something I want to watch, then I just tell him I am going to watch my shows in the bedroom and he doesnt seem to care.  I do occasionally suggest we find something on tv that we could both enjoy and sometimes, we do that.  But i just dont understand why he could possibly be upset at me for surfing the net while he watches a show I care NOTHING about.  I ask him why and he just gets mad and says i am ALWAYS on my phone. (which I am not)

missyishere

He's just being a little immature.  Although, if it does bother him that much, maybe ask him what else he would like to do together that didn't involve a screen whatsoever. Fine, you don't want me to get on my phone while you watch your show, then let's play a game.  

MJN9510

true.  I will try that.  I agree, he is being petty and immature.

randomsalpal

That's what we have a DVR for. He can tape stuff and watch it when he wants or vice versa.  We do have several shows that we like watching together and love watching Netflix when nothing is on. We don't fight a lot about TV.  I do try and be respectful and not be on the internet 24/7, as I know this is something that he doesn't like. My DH can be a baby, he is not much of an internet person.  

MrsCodeMonkey

DH doesn't like it when I'm on my phone either. He rewinds a funny scene and then makes a big deal about it. I have tried to cut down on phone time. We do watch a lot of shows that interest me too and we tend to pause and discuss whatever it is.

I still agree that watching TV is not exactly quality time. My favorite activity so far other than the obvious was painting along with a glass of wine. We picked a random easy painting to copy and we had fun. DH wasn't as into it, but he went along with it.

taggiecb

My husband made a comment about me being on the computer one time while he was enjoying a show that he liked and I didn't, and I responded to him in a very sarcastic tone that it must only be ok if everyone is ignoring everyone while staring at the same screen.

 

I do not rely on tv to have quality time with my husband, and I don't really care if he watches something that I don't like, but I do not appreciate feeling like I have to sit and watch tv that I don't want to, or even watch tv IF I don't want to just because that is what he wants to do.

 

TiffanyBerry

MJN9510 said:

But seriously, why get mad at me for surfing the net or texting a friend, when he is glued to the tv anyhow?

What does he say when you ask him that question?

Have you talked to him about it?

angelashly

I do try to watch some of his shows and fake interest. TV is just not my hill to die on. I also noticed that if I was reading a book he was fine. He doesn't care about me surfing the net and he does it too I feel we are less attentive then if I'm reading a book or him the paper. Don't know if that made any sense.

MJN9510

 

TiffanyBerry said:

But seriously, why get mad at me for surfing the net or texting a friend, when he is glued to the tv anyhow?

What does he say when you ask him that question? Have you talked to him about it?

Yes, I have asked him this and he doesnt have anything to say back to me.  He just continues to tell me that he hates when I am on my phone.  I have worked on trying to to be on it but he doesnt seem to notice that.  I purposely put it in another room so I am not tempted as much, but when I am bored and he is watching something that I have no interest in...well, that is when I surf the internet.  Sometimes, I really think he bitches just to bitch.

TiffanyBerry

Hah... I'd personally be in the "well, come back and talk to me when you're ready to have a rational discussion that goes farther than 'you can't do things I hate you doing' " camp.