Pregnant after IF

Am I a horrible person???

I think I've seen something similar to this posted on here before but here goes anyway.  So even after we've announced to the world that we're expecting, everyone is excited, we're excited, we're in 2nd tri and have started working on the nursery....I STILL feel jealous and resentful of other women I see on fb and IRL who are announcing pregnancies, especially those due just a little before or around me.  It even felt like a direct jab to be when I saw that freaking Jennifer Farley is pregnant and due around the same time as me...seriously, who cares?!?  I really thought that this feeling would go away, but obviously it hasn't and it still feels like a personal attack when I see these announcements uuuuugh!  WTF is wrong w/me???? 
Me 31 ~ DH 30
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
<3 CJW 6/15/2014 <3
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15

Re: Am I a horrible person???

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with you, it's completely normal with someone who has gone through IF like we all have.  I am much further behind you, only 6.5 weeks but I feel the exact same way and am still getting so annoyed with people and their baby pics. Today a high school friend of my dh posted his u/s pic on fb and they are exactly as far as we are...like seriously, already?? It drives me insane. So I understand your pain and hope it eases with time.
    image



    Me 28 DH 30

    After 4+ years TTC

    FET #2 = DS Madden Jeffery <3 July 29, 2014 <3
  • I have to say i was pregnant with snookie and now with jwow and i keep thinking really?!??!? I am right tgere with you girl, i do t think it ever goes away...
    Sorry, hang in there and fake it till you make it or just block and ignore all you can....

    Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
    All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!

    Baby Dust To All!!!

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  • Jwoww is pg now too? I did not know this ugh!
    image



    Me 28 DH 30

    After 4+ years TTC

    FET #2 = DS Madden Jeffery <3 July 29, 2014 <3
  • liz4pawsliz4paws member
    edited December 2013
    I totally feel the same way. I even feel that way about close friends who had no trouble getting KU. You think I'd be happy for everyone now that I get to experience being pregnant? Apparently not. I'm still resentful! :( Women who struggled to become pregnant, on the other hand, I seem to be elated for. I guess I'm judging without even meaning to. I wish I could snap out of it!

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
    Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
    Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
    DH: Severe MFI

    12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)

    My ovaries are just for decoration

    12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
    2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
    2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
    3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
     
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
    9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
    11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
    My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
     
        image      image 
  • I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I had some not so nice feelings at breakfast this morning when I learned my drug-dealing jerk of an ex will become a dad around my due date. 
    image  image
    О Привязать! Z!
    The Science Babies debuted 5/6/14 @ 34 weeks
  • I know the feeling, I am still envious of other people's fertility. I also hate having a celebrity pregnant around same time as me because its never ending stories and for some reason it's irritating. Not exactly sure why but it is. We understand.
    image

    Me:34 PCOS, one kinked tube, low thyroid.
    DH:39 lower than average count.
    Married 2006. 3 failed IUIs and countless BFNs.
    ~IVF#1: July 2012~
    7/10 Retrieval: 16r, 14f w/ICSI. 7/15 ET: Transfered 2. 4 frosties.< Poas faint+ 4dp5dt.>
    Beta#1 (8dp5dt): 138. Beta#2 (10dp5dt): 355.
    u/s#1: (19dp5dt) 8/3/12 one sac, two yolks! Beta 8,000
    u/s#2: two strong heartbeats! EDD 4/2/12
    Boy/girl fraternal mono/di twins-- lost our sweet baby girl at 22 weeks due to SIUGR
    Preterm labor at 23 weeks 4 days, lost our sweet baby boy.
  • Oh this is very normal my dear. I hate to say it, but pregnancy announcements and such bothered me until my LO was about 1 year old. Everyone is different though. As pp said, she felt better after her LO was born. I hope that is the route in store for you. Until then, do not bad or guilty, totally normal for what you went though!
    IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
    FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
    Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
    Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
    Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
    U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




  • So normal! I still get jealous when I see pregnancy announcements, especially when I know they didn't "work" for it.
    Lilypie - (5WpR)
    Me(26)PCOS, Hypothyroidism & Incompetent Cervix  DH(28)Azoospermia
    4/11 Off BCPs -- Cycle 1-3 (6months) - No ovulation, Provera
    Cycle 4-6 - Provera, Clomid 50mg, CD23BW - All BFN (HSG-all clear)
    Dec 2011 DH S/A shows zero count - dx Azoo
    TESE 4/13/12 - Sperm found!! 5 viles frozen
    IVF ICSI #1- (Lupron protocol) 5R 2F 2dt- 2DP & 4CF - BFFN
    IVF ICSI #2-  (Antagonist protocol) Started stims 7/26
    ER 8/8 11R 9F 3dt - 9BF & 7BF (+HPT 8dp3dt)TWINS! EDD 5/1/13
    <312/9 Joshua David and Zoe Faith born too early at 19w4d due to incompetent cervix <3
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
      LAP Transabdominal Cerclage - 4/15/13 only possibility of carrying my children to term 
    IVF#3 - June 2013 -  canceled.
    IVF ICSI #3.2- (Antagonist Protocol) 7/26 start stims (same day, a year later from J & Z's stim start date!)
     ER 8/7 19R 9F 3dt of 2- 8BF embryos. (+HPT 7dp3dt) Beta #1 - 82.8 Beta #2 - 821 Beta #3 - 7254
    9/11/13 - U/S shows 1 baby HR 135bpm! EDD: 4/30/13
    It's a BOY!!
    2/9/14 - DX Gestational Diabetes
    C-section scheduled for 4/7/14 (36w5d)
    Colin Joseph - 1:07pm 6lbs 14oz - 8 days in the NICU
    Everyone Welcome!
  • Thanks ladies - I still feel like a jerk for feeling jealous of seemingly easily pregnant women, but obviously I have a reason.  I'm glad I'm not alone!
    Me 31 ~ DH 30
    IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
    <3 CJW 6/15/2014 <3
    DX - PCOS 2004
    FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
  • I've had a problem with being angry at pregnant women my whole pregnancy. Just today I wanted to throat punch the girl behind me in line for rubbing her small bump -- when I was doing the exact same thing! It put me in a mood for the rest of the day. I think we are all normal for feeling that way. :)
    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

    image


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  • OMG! I have this feeling too, but thought I was the only one, and haven't vocalized it to anyone...not even DH!! I know several couples who are pregnant right now, most a few weeks behind me, and one of them did several IUI's and am SO incredibly happy for them. Another friend, whose really friends with DH told me on FB that he and his wife were expecting. I can't tell you the feeling I got when he told me..I guess jealousy? They were going to wait until January to start trying, and when I asked him about it, he said they just couldn't wait. So...with my calculations, I'm figuring they got KU the first or 2nd try. And, to add to my irrational and crazy thinking, I think they "couldn't wait" to start trying was just because we were pregnant! 
    I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one with these feelings!!! 


    Me 28 DH 30 Married 08-11-07 TTC since 07/11 HSG 01-21-13 Left FTB Seeing RE 1-28-13 RE 1-28-13 Both tubes blocked LAP surgery 2-15-13 Both tubes removed Started IVF #1 June 2013 Meds: BCP, Lupron, Gonal-F, Ovidrel, Medrol, Doxycycline
    Beta #1-BFP!!! HCG-55 Beta #2--111 Beta #3--2,825 Beta #4 22,031 1st U/S 7-29-13 Saw and heard our little sweet pea's heartbeat!! 109 bpm 


    image
  • I am not as far along, but I think it is normal. I feel this way and I think it is because I can't relax in the same way that people who had it easy can.
    TTC Since January 2012 Me:37 DH:34      DX July 2013: Unexplained Infertility      New DX Dec 2013: DOR
    BFP#1 6/4/12 EDD 2/13/13 M/C 6/6/12  BFP#2 2/21/13 EDD 11/3/13 M/C 2/26/13 BFP#3 C/P
    4 rounds of clomid, 2 with IUI = BFN
    November/December Retesting/Natural Cycle = Surprise BFP @ 11dpo! Beta#1 76.6@13dpo Beta #2 276@15dpo u/s#1 6w2d hb113 u/s#2 8w2d, measuring 8w4d hb168! 10w2d hb171 12w3d Verifi results are in and good! EDD 8/23 Our Baby Girl Rainbow Baby born 8/20/2014!!!
    Um...what? BFP 11/2/15!?! EDD 7/4/16
  • I feel this way too. Glad to hear its not abnormal. I am 8 weeks and I just found out my SIL is accidentally KU with their 3rd baby! Their youngest just turned one and she is further along than I am and didn't even find out until she was 7 weeks. It makes me feel cheated. As if this incredibly huge important thing I worked for what seemed like forever is just a thing others take so lightly.
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  • My jealousy comes from "free" babies.  Oh how nice it must be. 

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

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