Am I the only one....

BrandyD06

who isn't really excited about another baby? Ever since my sweet Elika passed while I wanted another one now that I am I don't feel that excitement I did with my first son or with Elika. I felt this way about my Ethan who was born one year after Elika passed but I put that down to not being ready for another and him being a accident. This one while not expected I still figured I would be more excite than I am. I feel....numb like it doesn't really matter, is this normal or am I just a bad mom?

BrittianyM

I don't have any experience but I don't think your a bad mom. It may just be a way of protecting yourself by not getting that excited about this pregnancy. Once the baby is in your arms I am sure it will change and you will fall madly in love with your new sweet little one. Please don't be hard on yourself during this time, just try to take one day at a time.

VyD81

Although I don't have any personal experience with PgAL, my OB said that most parents guard their hearts more with pregnancy after lost and don't get as excited. She said it's normal to feel this way. You're not a bad mom, don't beat yourself up. Hugs. 

lrichmond86

I'm definitely feeling this way during this pregnancy. We have our rainbow baby. She was born in July. We started ttc six months after we lost baby Gary and it took us five months to get pregnant. That pregnancy was so desired and I was so scared and excited right up to the minute she was born. This pregnancy was a surprise. We weren't trying, but not preventing and for some reason I have this gut feeling that it's another boy and that I shouldn't get attached because he won't come home with us either. I have no reason to feel this way, but I can't help it. For now I'm not beating myself up for feeling this way. I know that when I meet my baby I will fall instantly in love. I keep reminding myself that each of my children is a blessing, whether they're home with me
Or up in heaven.

stefuge

lrichmond86 said:

I'm definitely feeling this way during this pregnancy. We have our rainbow baby. She was born in July. We started ttc six months after we lost baby Gary and it took us five months to get pregnant. That pregnancy was so desired and I was so scared and excited right up to the minute she was born. This pregnancy was a surprise. We weren't trying, but not preventing and for some reason I have this gut feeling that it's another boy and that I shouldn't get attached because he won't come home with us either. I have no reason to feel this way, but I can't help it. For now I'm not beating myself up for feeling this way. I know that when I meet my baby I will fall instantly in love. I keep reminding myself that each of my children is a blessing, whether they're home with me Or up in heaven.

((hugs))

mingaling2

I don't think it's strange or that you're a terrible mom. I think if/should we get pregnant again, I would be terrified the entire time. That is mainly the reason we aren't TTC anytime soon. 

angelsnight

ticker warning

My OB warned us that with a new pregnancy, we could feel emotionally detached for a while.  It can stem from worrying, not wanting to get attached just in case, and even being a little sad because it's not the baby you lost.  I was excited, but I also felt most of that stuff early on.  As I got further along I bonded more and more and became used to the idea, but you are most certainly not a bad mom.  Pgal is very very hard and you're just doing what you can do to get through it.

BrandyD06

The biggest thing I don't understand is this isn't my first PGAL. My son Ethan was born two years after Elika but I got pregnant with him almost exactly a year later.

Poisonives

I have been dream in the last few days that I was pregnant and I was so scared and I was crying hard. I didnt understand because I wanted so bad to become pregnant again soon. I guess that is the part of me saying im not totally ready for this.

Heatherhah

Being PGAL is the hardest thing I have ever done next to losing our DD. I tried to stay completely unattached the whole pregnancy even though my brain was totally involved. I feared the worse the whole time which made life very tough. But I tried to think that each pregnancy was and is different and so are my babies. That helped a bit. you ar enot a bad mom at all just a worried and scared mom its so normal.

Heather