that one person who just doesn't get it.... vent — The Bump
December 2012 Moms

that one person who just doesn't get it.... vent

Fortunatly my ILs are fantastic, supportive and ask rather than assume, but there is always that one relative. She's of a different generation, didn't have kids of her own & has been having health issues lately which are highly contagous for older folks & young ones. So LO hasn't seen her in 6 months.

When we arrived she had already had too much to drink, expected LO yo jump into her open arms because she loves LO so much. Even after repeated explination that LO is cranky today & extra clingy she then joked (or was serious?) that she'd take Santa's present away ftom LO and pouted that LO doesn't love her.

1. my kid isn't requited to hug anyone. Not even me. There are times where she just wants more space or to be held by her dad (as was the case today & that is fine.

2 don't expect us to hand over said child when you're having difficulty maintaining balace because LO falls enough on her own already

3. if your love is so conditional, that you're going to retract it because a ONE year old doesn't do what you want, she doesn't need your love or your present.

4. want to get a baby's attention, ignore ot. Then warm up slowly.

ok, vent over.
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Re: that one person who just doesn't get it.... vent

  • Ugh. That sounds like my sister, who's on her way over. She's 16 years older than me and never had kids, so she's "living vicariously" through me and can't wait to "love her up." I'm predicting this going very badly since DD doesn't like to be contained, so cuddling is out. Also, I really hate when my sister says that... It just feels weird.

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  • My sister is like that, and she watches DD every day. She expects DD to hug/kiss her whenever she (sister) wants. Then she gets upset if DD doesn't want anything to do with her....they're 1 for goodness sakes, all they know is that you are holding them against their will and they want down...it's not like they have some personally vendetta against you.

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    SingleMom31LittleFish1jsoubel
  • Read somewhere that it's a good idea to NOT force kids, especially girls, to hug people they don't want to hug. It starts from an early age letting them know that their bodies and boundaries are theirs. 
    minervacullenjsoubel
  • jaimevogt said:

    Read somewhere that it's a good idea to NOT force kids, especially girls, to hug people they don't want to hug. It starts from an early age letting them know that their bodies and boundaries are theirs. 

    I read that years ago and followed it with DS, well now he has to be persuaded to give DH a goodnight hug, but still I agree.


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  • Sounds like LO with my DH's family. He only just "mended fences" with them after 3 YEARS of being (blissfully, IMO) ignored by them and now whenever they pick LO up and try to snuggle or hug him he pulls away, pushes at them, he'll even try to hit their face until they put him down. He won't even let us kiss him most of the time but they always tell me... "Well now that we'll be spending more time together, he'll warm up to us/me."
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