Toddlers: 24 Months+
beautiflaw
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Staying Up Late on Christmas Eve to See Daddy?
beautiflaw
member
So my husband is a nurse who works 12 hour shifts. On work days he leaves home before DD wakes up, and comes home after her bedtime. She misses him sooo much on his work days so on his off days they are inseparable. She is on a strict schedule because she gets cranky, and sometimes sick, when we alter it. But I am thinking of letting her stay up late so she can spend Christmas Eve with her dad. He has to work tomorrow. I can't get her up early, because on mornings when she gets up early on her own and she sees him leave, she freaks out and he gets upset because he doesn't want to leave her.
It's a special day and I don't think it will completely ruin her schedule... but I am kind of worried about it because lately if we are even just 30-45 minutes behind schedule it takes like 2 hours to get her to bed. She gets overtired so easily and she has huge tantrums if we don't stick closely to her schedule. I'm kind of worrying that if I let her stay up, then she will be happy to see her dad for a little while, but then she will be cranky and it won't be nice anymore. Like, the tantrum that will likely happen at bedtime won't be worth it for either of us. She is too little to really appreciate the meaning of the holiday. If I treat it like any other day she won't know the difference... but I think DH would be sad to miss me and DD setting out a cookies and such for Santa, etc. So partly I'd be letting her stay up to see him, but also so he could see her.
Also, when he's home, her bedtime does not go smoothly. He lets her get away with a lot of things that I don't. He doesn't make her brush her teeth longer than a few seconds or sit still to have her hair brushed or put on pajamas, so it takes forever to do it when he's home because the whole time I'm trying to get her ready for bed, he's asking me why I'm doing each thing. "She can go to bed without her hair brushed this one time." etc. She can throw a fit and he gives in. So she'll have a tantrum for his benefit even though when its just me she goes through the routine like an angel. Because she knows I won't give in. Since usually I'm the one doing the bedtime routine I let it go. He has his style of parenting and I have mine. But on Christmas Eve, of all the nights of the year, I'd like to have a smooth bedtime. You know? But at the same time, I would love it for her and her dad to get to spend time together. I wanted them to get to set out Santa's snacks and stuff together and get a couple of pictures before bed. I was thinking of letting her open one present but I may not... since she'll want to stay up all night playing with it. I don't know...
Is it worth it to have a crazy bedtime so she and DH can spend time together? Or worth it to have a peaceful bedtime and wait until Christmas morning?
Am I over thinking it?
It's a special day and I don't think it will completely ruin her schedule... but I am kind of worried about it because lately if we are even just 30-45 minutes behind schedule it takes like 2 hours to get her to bed. She gets overtired so easily and she has huge tantrums if we don't stick closely to her schedule. I'm kind of worrying that if I let her stay up, then she will be happy to see her dad for a little while, but then she will be cranky and it won't be nice anymore. Like, the tantrum that will likely happen at bedtime won't be worth it for either of us. She is too little to really appreciate the meaning of the holiday. If I treat it like any other day she won't know the difference... but I think DH would be sad to miss me and DD setting out a cookies and such for Santa, etc. So partly I'd be letting her stay up to see him, but also so he could see her.
Also, when he's home, her bedtime does not go smoothly. He lets her get away with a lot of things that I don't. He doesn't make her brush her teeth longer than a few seconds or sit still to have her hair brushed or put on pajamas, so it takes forever to do it when he's home because the whole time I'm trying to get her ready for bed, he's asking me why I'm doing each thing. "She can go to bed without her hair brushed this one time." etc. She can throw a fit and he gives in. So she'll have a tantrum for his benefit even though when its just me she goes through the routine like an angel. Because she knows I won't give in. Since usually I'm the one doing the bedtime routine I let it go. He has his style of parenting and I have mine. But on Christmas Eve, of all the nights of the year, I'd like to have a smooth bedtime. You know? But at the same time, I would love it for her and her dad to get to spend time together. I wanted them to get to set out Santa's snacks and stuff together and get a couple of pictures before bed. I was thinking of letting her open one present but I may not... since she'll want to stay up all night playing with it. I don't know...
Is it worth it to have a crazy bedtime so she and DH can spend time together? Or worth it to have a peaceful bedtime and wait until Christmas morning?
Am I over thinking it?
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Re: Staying Up Late on Christmas Eve to See Daddy?
If daddy also works Christmas day than no question I would keep her up, but if he'll be home I'd put her to bed. Take a video/pictures of her putting out cookies so daddy can still see it.
I wish we could visit him for his lunch but he's on a closed ward (no visitors), and his break room is in that same ward. His lunch is so short that he doesn't have time to leave. I am going to take a bunch of pics and videos though so he doesn't miss out on her setting out a plate for Santa. We have far away family who would want to see it too.