When do terrible 2's end???

luvmygirlss

Those with older kids, is there a light at the end of the tunnel?...please say yes. Or is there another stage I should know about after terrible 2's, be honest so I can brace myself lol. 

TiffanyBerry

Trying three. It shifts, some people sat it is worse. We've been lucky and haven't had it bad. If like to credit respectful/peaceful parenting, but it's probably more personality than anything we do.

funchicken

I'm not saying this is always the case, but for a lot of people I know three was worse than two. It was for DD1. DD2 has been a really easy kid from the very beginning, so I don't know how she'll be as a three. My sister is finding four to be a really rough age with her DS. For us, four was a lot better, and five is even easier.

ashiscute

You've heard the saying "whoever came up with the phrase terrible twos must have felt very foolish when their child turned 3"?

erbear

LOL. Oh, you're serious...um...the terrible twos (which were fine for DD1 and a disaster for DD2) segued into the Throating Slitting Threes and the Fucking Fours for us. BUT as DD1 approaches 5, things seem to be settling down a little. So, yeah. I hear 8-10 is awesome.

beautiflaw

I've always heard people say age 3 and 4 are the worst. My parents always told me that nothing is worse than the teenage years though.

DD is not even 2.5 yet and I have days when I just have no words. I just want to cry. She already knows my buttons. When she is mad at me for something I don't even know I've done, she refuses to snuggle and gives me the silent treatment. Its hard for me to stay in "mom" mode and stay firm on the rules, because it hurts when she is mad at me. I instantly want to give in to her just so she will be happy again.

But then like a few hours later she want to sit in my lap and wants to share her toys with me and stuff. Heartbreakingly sweet and adorable. Its an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Cherryblossoms07

About the time horrible three's start. ; )

Really though, I was always told terrible two's were a myth and that it is 3 you need to worry about and it has held true for us.

ASmallWonder

Three has been far worse for us than 2.  Three is two but with intent and an incredible level of intelligence.  Very scary combination lol

beautiflaw

elmoali said:

Three has been far worse for us than 2.  Three is two but with intent and an incredible level of intelligence.  Very scary combination lol

My nightmares are made of this.

MamaAllison

elmoali said:

Three has been far worse for us than 2.  Three is two but with intent and an incredible level of intelligence.  Very scary combination lol

OMG. This is us at 2 years, 3 months . I am shitting myself thinking of what's to come ( or, at least I would be if this pregnancy hadn't given me some nice hemorrhoids...)

sugarbear0524

My son (2) is like most other toddlers--awesome, cute, and funny part of the time and a terror the rest. I suspect 3 and beyond will be like that too.

**Steps up on soap box**

Let's start a campaign--when some tired Mama says "When will the craziness end?!", we don't tell her, "If you think you have it bad now, just wait! Three is worse! Four is even worse than that!" She is trying to get through the stage her child is in now--telling her it will only get worse is not encouraging or helpful.  Just listen and say, "I've been there."

**Steps off soap box**

TiffanyBerry

If you just say "I've been there," you aren't answering your question. It's like someone asking what time your holiday dinner is going to be and you saying "yeah, I was hungry all Christmas morning last year". It doesn't answer the question.

If we are going to answer the question, we should do it honestly, though I do think we should be gentle.

That said, I don't think it gets **HARDER**; I think it gets different. And after taking months to adjust to one hard thing, having to figure out how to adjust to a different hard thing can feel harder, but really it's just different.

I think letting people know what is coming ahead arms them with information. If people talk about their sleeping babies at six months and everyone just says "I've been there, it's tough" mama is not going to have any warning about a very likely major regression around a year old (which happened to most babies I know of). So, sympathize, but share knowledge too. We would get to SEE that it doesn't get easier if we still had closer knit families who spent lots of time together with many small children in a variety if age ranges, but we don't. So we have to find other ways than shared experience to share the information.

Angela814

I found 3 to be harder than 2. Then the f*cking 4s are awful. 5 and 6 were good... 7 has been sassy and just plain naughty.

rlyttle

3 is soooo much easier than 2 for us!? DS started being difficult around 20 months. It finally let up right after he turned 3. He will still have a huge meltdown about once a month or two, but its not everyday like it was before. GL!

JuneMrs

My advice as we enter the 3 year old stage is don't think of it as terrible. It's actually a really big developmental stage kids are asserting their independence and personality. Try to find ways to work with your toddler even when they are the most difficult and know when to take a grown up time out and come back when you have the patience to be an effective listener, teacher, etc.

ThatWasAHoot

My son turns 3 in less than 2 weeks and within the last 3 weeks or so he's turned into an evil version of himself.  He is usually a very sweet and well-tempered little guy, but he is definitely not himself all of the time lately.  Yesterday he had a tantrum because my wife offered him ketchup with his lunch.  So that's fun haha

luvmygirlss

Thanks for some encouragement

diana.filipi

I have a nearly 4 year old and 2 1/2-3 1/2 was really tough for us.  Now my middle is nearly 2 and the baby is 6 months.  Our lives will settle down sometime WAY down the road LOL

luvmygirlss

diana.filipi said:

I have a nearly 4 year old and 2 1/2-3 1/2 was really tough for us.  Now my middle is nearly 2 and the baby is 6 months.  Our lives will settle down sometime WAY down the road LOL

Wow, that's awesome. 3 kids was always something in our plans, now getting nervous...

Liz4444

If it's going to get worse I'm going to run away!

fanofanne

what?  there's a trying three? 
:-O

BeanNut

The year from 1.5-2.5 (so far) has been the hardest for me.  2.5-3 has been wonderful because she a great communicator and I am also very careful to set limits and expectations for her otherwise she would constantly test me.  We will see what the future brings but I would think it's different for every child and their parents.

sschwege

I think three is hard in the sense that they are really challenging you...A LOT!  Plus they have better memories, so re-directing just doesn't work anymore and they don't get over disappointment as quickly and will argue/negotiate.  

Here's where I think it's easier, you can really explain/prepare them for things which was harder/impossible to do when they were younger.  For example we were going out to eat and I know my nephews are allowed to get up and wander around the table/restaurant.  To me this is a safety issue and unacceptable.  So when we were in the car I explained to DD that different families have different rules, her cousins may be allowed to get up out of their seats, we do not get up, if she chooses to not follow directions we will sit in the car, etc.  She understood and agreed.  When we got to the restaurant she did great, made a move a couple of times, I reminded her of what we talked about, she sat back down.  Now at 2, my approach would not have been as effective or perhaps not at all.  

sschwege

Liz4444 said:

If it's going to get worse I'm going to run away!

I used to think that too!  But here's the good news, it doesn't happen over night.  At least not for us, it's a gradual progression and it swings back and forth.  There will be weeks where your child will be an absolute delight and you will pat yourself on your back for your suburb parenting skills.  Then it will swing back and you will wonder if you are raising a child that is doomed to spend his/her years in a state correction facility.  Just keep living for the 'good' weeks.  

 

luvmygirlss

BeanNut said:

The year from 1.5-2.5 (so far) has been the hardest for me.  2.5-3 has been wonderful because she a great communicator and I am also very careful to set limits and expectations for her otherwise she would constantly test me.  We will see what the future brings but I would think it's different for every child and their parents.

I hope this is what happens for us. It started at 1.5, she will be 2.5 next month so crossing my fingers. She is a very sweet and loving girl but just tests me the entire day, throws tantrums when I don't pay attention (like when I'm on the phone, or doing dishes). If I hung out with her a lllll day, she would be a saint, the second I do anything to turn my attention away from her she finds a way to get the attention back. I try ignoring the behavior and it gets worse until a disaster happens. I wish I could play and hang out with her all day, so sometimes I feel bad. But I do have to cook, clean, pick up phone calls, it's not feasible to give her that kind of attention. Geez, I hope it gets better. I have an 8mos old who barely gets any attention (thankfully she's completely cool with it), because my toddler takes over...

sugarbear0524

Sounds like you are a SAHM. Have you considered putting your toddler in a Children's Day Out or preschool program a couple of days a week? She might develop a little more independence and it would give you some time with your baby.

Crystal318

My son just turned three in October and so far three is MUCH worse.....you know what helps, ZOLOFT!  Yes, I had to get on medication (just a small dose) but it takes the edge off and I am much more patient and less emotional than I have been in a really long time. Now I am able to let him throw his fit and then talk it out with him after the fact calmly. I can deal with his bedtime procrastination and independence. I am not anxious about getting the dishes done or cleaning the house....I can now take that time and sit and play with him and worry about cleaning later. The more positive play time/interaction I have with him, the less fits he throws. Its all about attention, whether it be positive or negative they still crave it. So if they get your attention by having a fit, they will. If they get it by playing cars, trains or play dough....it makes life much easier and happier! There are plenty of other factors that led to my seeking out medication but I think being a full time working, single mom of a "independent" three year old and his father being a drug addict was the icing on the cake!  Every time my son would throw a fit...so would I....I was a crying, anxious, inpatient mess!  I feel like my brain is much clearer now and I am a much better mom than I ever thought I could be! 

I just re-read my post and I feel like I am doing an infomercial for Zoloft!

luvmygirlss

sugarbear0524 said:

Sounds like you are a SAHM. Have you considered putting your toddler in a Children's Day Out or preschool program a couple of days a week? She might develop a little more independence and it would give you some time with your baby.

Yes, but not until she's 3, she's only 2.5. Preschool won't take her any younger. Never heard of a "Childrens day out program" will have to look into it. That would actually be a great idea, thanks.

sugarbear0524

The one my son attended is 9:15-2:30, as many as 3 days a week. The name was changed to "Children's Day Out" as there are an increasing number of stay at home dads these days. Most are in churches.

Manateearmz

I'm guessing they'll end in her mid twenties.

ladylisalt

Manateearmz said:

I'm guessing they'll end in her mid twenties.

lol!

luvmygirlss

fredalina said:

The one my son attended is 9:15-2:30, as many as 3 days a week. The name was changed to "Children's Day Out" as there are an increasing number of stay at home dads these days. Most are in churches.

Yup, and some are Parents' Day Out. Just wanted to help OP with search criteria .

Thanks everyone this is awesome, I am going to look into it, hope my area has something like this. Not only will it be nice for me to do some things around the house, but DD would loooove it. Thanks again!