SIL Vent & A Question

kmh2201

Just need to vent here for a minute.  This all started a few weeks ago when I shared an article on FB about 6 (health/social) benefits of daycare.  For the most part, it was a shout-out to our DC provider, because she is phenomenal, and I really feel that our kids have benefitted from her care.  The other part, I really do feel that daycare is beneficial for a child’s health and social growth.  If I was a SAHM, I would send our kids to daycare/preschool at least one day a week if we could afford it.  Being exposed to germs helps build immunity while they are young.  The social aspect of daycare is also good for kids so that they know how to function with other children (and without their parents) before they start school.  My SIL feels very strongly that being a SAHM is the “right” thing to do, and that daycare is bad.  Apparently my SIL took the post personally, and she posted a comment about how it’s funny that some people have to justify their decisions.  I posted a comment after that saying that our experience with daycare has been great because of the DC provider we have, but that each family makes the decision that is right for them.  She actually unfriended me on FB, but then sent me a friend request a couple days after that.  I never friended her back, because sharing opinions is what happens on social media, and if she doesn’t like my opinion, then maybe we shouldn’t be connected on social media.  She sent me a text yesterday to apologize.  I sent her one back to also apologize if I hurt her feelings, but I also said that I think we can agree to disagree on some things, and that’s okay.

 

So my question is, if it were you, would you accept the friend request?

jf198400

I've frequently gotten upset by things SAHMs post on Facebook b/c personally I wish I could be home, so I take things personally even when it has nothing to do with me. I would never comment on it on fb, but I can understand why your SIL did. Yea she acted kinda immature about it, but I'd give her a second chance. I'm all for keeping the peace in families. If it becomes a repeat thing with her, then defriend her, but it sounds like she already apologized, so for now you should accept that.

jnnfrrose6

Since she took the time and effort to text you and apologize, I think you should go ahead and friend her again.  If she hadn't, then I think you'd be right to ignore the request.

82Sonia

Since she apologized, I'd accept her request.

kmh2201

I actually did include in the original FB post a specific shout-out to my DCP, so that's why I was somewhat surprised that SIL took such personal offense to it.

I'll have to try and find a link to the article...

Samiantha101

I agree with others on giving her a second chance. I, personally, find it silly to unfriend somebody from fb, however I'm that person who hasn't posted in fb in 6 months. Anyways, she recognized her part. I would accept the request and move on.

ASmallWonder

I'd give her a second chance but no more.  My mother (who is BSC) loves to use FB as a weapon in fights and unfriending is her favorite thing to do in a spat so she's no longer allowed on mine, even if we're getting along.

ccam

Call me crazy but aren't you going to see her / interact with her considering she's your SIL? I'm not on FB but I guess I don't understand the whole FB life vs real life thing.

I honestly could see why she would be a little defensive. But she took it to an extreme by unfriending you. Sounds like a dig for a dig sort of thing. I guess I'd give her another chance since she apologized though.

kristennd

I make extensive use of the Facebook lists feature. They even work from mobile. There are many things I repost that would cause issues with chunks of family (usually in-laws) so a prebuilt list that excludes them from ever seeing it is a lifesaver.

Shelly038

I would accept her friend request because, like a previous poster said, I'm all about keeping the peace in families.  I would love for our DD to have a great relationship with my entire family which in my situation isn't realistic.  However, I do think she over-reacted.  Mostly because I respect other people's opinions.  My sister is a SAHM.  If she posted something about how staying at home is the right thing to do, I would just keep on scrolling.  I don't agree with many of her parenting philosophies but it's her choice (just as it's yours to think DC is a wonderful thing).  People need to learn to respect others' opinions more often, IMO. 

Carnation77

She's your SIL.  Re-freind her.  Family feuds are not worth it, no matter how obnoxious or wrong the other person is being.  Be gracious and remember that sometimes the other person is just having a bad day.  I'm sure you have those too.