Inlaw rant (again...still NBR)

kerbear135

#!@!@!@!@#$ the a-holes have struck again....I really wish DH would just write them off already, but I understand it's his parents and it's really hard to do that, but they just keep on raising his hopes and then dashing them again. We went out with them 2 weeks ago to take DD to see Santa and have lunch- they paid plenty of attention to DD but kind of ignored us unless we asked a direct question. DH asked them if they'd be at DD's birthday party, and they both looked away and made a point not to answer....and then they show up to the party 30 mins late with an obnoxiously large present covered in balloons to make an entrance. DD asked them about Christmas Eve (it's tradition to have dinner with them) and once again they looked away and wouldn't answer. Then DH gets this email from his Dad this morning about how they aren't going to make dinner because his mom is "sick" (I'll say) and how they're upset that we didn't include them in the planning and execution of DD's party...I know ya'll are probably sick and tired of me complaining about them, but this is the only outlet I have. I can't say anything to DH because it only makes him feel worse (he feels like this is somehow all his fault), they're both on my social media (I should block them, but that would just create more crap for DH to deal with), and if I don't vent somewhere I'm gonna end up sending a dirty nasty letter to that witch (MIL) about how terribly she treats her own child and therefore I don't want her around mine. I mean, at this point, I don't know what the crap else to do...DH doesn't seem ready to just tell them to take it and shove it, but nothing and I mean NOTHING he/we do makes them happy...


ETA...apparently DH has reached his breaking point with them too. He has decided that he will not contact them again. If they want to see DD (and by extension, us) then they can contact us...I don't know how long he'll be able to stick that out, as I have a feeling they're far too stubborn and spiteful to contact us other than to tell DH to "fix" things, but at least it's a start...

twister22

I'm sorry . I hate IL crap. DH is dealing with drama with his family too. It's so frustrating because in my family there is literally no drama. Everyone acts like adults. DH's family? Not so much...

SingleMom31

Ugh. I'm sorry. I hate family drama. Yesterday, I was doing something so I didn't answer my phone, and I had no less than 20 wackadoodle messages from my family about Christmas.

Can you make dinner for your family ad invite them? That way, if they flake out, you'll still have a nice dinner.

JessAnnJ

Wow, they sound very childish. I would either do a special dinner for you, DH, and DD or plan something with your family.

Jackiemxoxo

I'm sorry youre going through all this. It sounds like they use things against you (not making dinner) whenever it is convenient for them. I agree with pp's  about making your own family dinner and starting new traditions. Invite them but if they don't show up, no big deal. 

*LrCg*

We have not spoke with my family in years and I will say this its obviously the very last option to make but soon your DD will start picking up on their behavior and in the end, that's who they are hurting.  My parents would ignore the existence of DH and I in the room and put all their attention to DC#1 and ignore DC#2 (and the attention to DC#1 was pretty limited because he isn't their first grandchild).  My mother has an AWFUL pattern for favoritism and I could forgive the treatment towards me and move on but I couldn't do that to my kids.  They don't understand and soon DC#2 would scream whenever my parents came over (which even though they lived 25 min away was an average of twice a year).  Anyways I stood my ground, said I love you but things have to change and gave examples of their unacceptable behavioral.  That was 3 years ago and I've never heard from them.  To be honest, I'm at peace, my whole family is.  I've learned its not that family you came from that's important, its the family you create.