DH vent. — The Bump
Secondary IF

DH vent.

DH is pissed at me and I think he should not be. Actually, no need to take a side, this is just a vent.

I told DH this morning that this is something of a break month. We won't prevent, but we won't really try either. We have the genetics appointment coming up and I don't want to spend the holiday break timing sex and worrying about how I won't be pregnant again. Also, we are in a rut and I'm bored as hell but since he is sensitive and shy about sex I didn't want to offend him so I just decided to make an effort to make it fun again.

Anyway, I told him about taking the break today. Then tonight mentioned that I was interested. Then he came to our room and said, "ok, baby time." I said, "no, just fun." He said, "well maybe we've been timing it all wrong this whole time."

WTF DH??????

I was instantly put out of the mood. It was so hurtful, even though I know he didn't mean for it to be. I've been timing it every which way for the last 3 years. I hate it. We should have 3 more babies by now! I just wanted to forget all of that for one month. I mentally prepared myself over the last week. I've been talking myself down from peeing on OPKs. I am proud to say I haven't checked FF and I have no idea what CD it is right now (I could ballpark it, but I don't know exactly).

I didn't even know what to say after that. He asked, and I told him what I was feeling, but he became defensive and told me he was just joking. I do believe he gets it on some level, but he gets so sensitive about being "wrong" or doing something "wrong" that he goes straight into defensive mode and forgets that there's another person in the room with feelings.

Aaarrrrgh. 2IF has really effed things up in this house. I want my normal life back!!!

Please feel free to share your DH vents here. Or bring a stick and help me beat on 2IF for awhile.

Re: DH vent.

  • Jen071407Jen071407 member
    edited December 2013
    ((Hugs)) I think they try so hard but just do not have any idea what we are going through.
    My charming hubs told me to stop getting angry when someone else gets pregnant. Pshaw. I'll get angry if I want to. :ar!

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 


    [Deleted User]CheesyPeasannibes
  • ((HUGS)) - I hope things get better. 


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  • SpooksterSpookster member
    edited December 2013
    Sorry your having a rough time, ((Hugs)) I can relate. 
    **~Future Mama to my June "Sprout"~**
    EDD- 06/13/2017
    **Stinkerbelle-8-27-10 * Mr.P's 2nd Mama 7-27-07**
    TTGP's 2013 Sweetest Bumpie <3 

  • ((HUGS)) Men are dumb.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13

    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

    image    http://oi40.tinypic.com/15czrid.jpg     image

  • My DH drives me crazy. He will say "why" all the time and then I answer him and he doesn't even listen. And if he asks me how much longer I have to take the hormones one more time.... I WILL hit him with my shoe...
    TTC: since 08/2012
    IUI: met with clinic 01/13 - due to SA results - straight to IVF
    IVF Cycle 1: Long Lupron Protocol with fresh transfer and ICSI
    Baseline U/S 11/27/2013 - Lining 3mm and good to go go stim action!

  • You know, I've heard people say that infertility struggles brought their marriage closer and made it stronger and blah blah but, I've always found that it has been the BIGGEST test of our marriage and it has taken a toll. We've come a lot better at understanding that we each (my DH and I) deal with it differently.

    It is harder on the woman in my opinion and guys are idiots and have a hard time seeing that.

    For instance the other day we bickered about my cycle - and I lashed out at him and was like "what the hell?! Suddenly you're the expert on the PERIOD I've been getting since I was 12?!"

    "I mean, really?!" He was for real gonna argue about MY CYCLE? LOL. Dumbass.

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF

    [Deleted User]CheesyPeasSpooksterannibes
  • Hugs!!! SIF sucks and just the men get it somewhat but they aren't the ones timing, testing and worrying like we do. My DH and I are "taking a break" but he knows somewhat when we need to have sex because of my HSG and he gets mad when I seem uninterested. I just want a break and do it when we're in the mood. Again, hugs, hugs and more hugs!
    (Former UN: iloveshanej)

    Birdie born 05/01/2007
    Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          

    Potato Launcher

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