So RE: The Babygaga Breast is Best thing...I have a story to share

Empireceo

Hugs, @ABColeslaw!

codik86

I'm so sorry you and Asher went through that. I can't imagine how scary that was. We can only do our best not to judge and be mean to others about what or how they're feeding their babies.

SNOakes

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. We, as mothers, are way to quick to judge each other when we should be supporting each other. I think women in general do this also, not just mothers, which is so sad to me.

I will admit to be ignorant about most of the issues you discuss. Can I ask a few questions?
When did Asher get diagnosed with autism?
Does autism have a higher prevalence of food allergies associated with it, or is that pure coincidence?
Why didn't his doctors fight harder to figure out why he had blood in his stool and vomit? (I'm sure you don't know the answer to this, it just frustrates me that it happens so often)

Thank heavens little Asher made it through all that. And good for you for having more children...who do these people think they are, telling you not to have more kids because they may have similar obstacles. YOU are the best thing for your kids and YOU are exactly the type of person who should be given the chance to raise these kids. I have a close friend with a child with Down's syndrome, and I tell her all the time that God knew what he was doing when he gave him to her, because she is exactly what he needs.

sparklingdiamond

Thank you for sharing your story.  I can't even imagine how scary and frustrating that was for you!  I agree, that moms need to do what is best for their children and stop judging each other so harshly.

MickeyM04

Thanks for sharing your story.  I was late to the other thread but I just wanted to add that I don't see how what any individual chooses to feed their baby is anyone's business (as long as it's breastmilk or formula or something else that is appropriate that I am not aware of).  It will never cease to amaze me how some women who BF can judge women who FF and how some women who FF can judge women who BF.  What we do or do not do with our boobs is nobody's business except maybe our spouse/SO/partner.

SNOakes

I just read the baby gaga thread. I wanted to add something, but didn't want to jump into that mess. I bf my son for a year. After about 6 months I started getting comments like "oh, you're still breast feeding? How long do you plan to do that?" I got some comments that I was very hurt by and they made me question what I was doing, and as a ftm, it made me sad that I felt I had to hide the fact that I was still nursing my son, who to me was still just a baby and wasn't ready to be weaned. What I didn't understand was why people cared. I am a shy person and always kept myself covered and not once did I ever feel like I was being obnoxious by promoting bfing. I don't care what other people do, so why do they care what I do?
I just wanted to throw it out there that bf moms get judged, too. It hurts and it needs to stop (in both directions).

pandadair

SNOakes said:

I just read the baby gaga thread. I wanted to add something, but didn't want to jump into that mess. I bf my son for a year. After about 6 months I started getting comments like "oh, you're still breast feeding? How long do you plan to do that?" I got some comments that I was very hurt by and they made me question what I was doing, and as a ftm, it made me sad that I felt I had to hide the fact that I was still nursing my son, who to me was still just a baby and wasn't ready to be weaned. What I didn't understand was why people cared. I am a shy person and always kept myself covered and not once did I ever feel like I was being obnoxious by promoting bfing. I don't care what other people do, so why do they care what I do? I just wanted to throw it out there that bf moms get judged, too. It hurts and it needs to stop (in both directions).

People just love to judge. I'm the MOH in my sister's wedding in April 2015, and when I made a comment about still having big nursing boobs, one of the other bridesmaids (also currently pregnant), looked at me like it was disgusting that I might still be breastfeeding at 11 months. I mean, who knows if I will or not, but I'd like to make it to 12 months. She also announced to me that I shouldn't be drinking my (half-caff) coffee when I walked in, and rolled her eyes at the idea of exercising while pregnant. So... whatevs, bitch.

Miggg

That was difficult to read so I can't begin to imagine how difficult it was to experience. I'm so sorry you and Asher had to go through that. Thank you so much for sharing.

Esbi25

I probably would have curled up in a ball and had a panic attack, so I totally respect your strength and ability to act fast!

I don't judge women for formula feeding either. If someone seems to be struggling in those first few weeks, I try to offer support because I know we had a lot of issues at first and, fortunately, worked them all out. So I think it's definitely important for FTMs to know it isn't always natural at first, even for those of us who are successful. But, it's also important for them to know that it may not work or it may cause too much anxiety to be worth it. I was grateful my mom pushed me to keep at it or, truthfully, I would have moved to formula myself because my kid truly seemed like he was being tortured every time I tried to feed him. I'm very proud we made it through, but completely realize how different the results would have been without the support I had.

Rocknroll64

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  All of those judgey bitches can seriously suck a dick. Makes me mad just thinking about it.

ABColeslaw

SNOakes said:

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. We, as mothers, are way to quick to judge each other when we should be supporting each other. I think women in general do this also, not just mothers, which is so sad to me. I will admit to be ignorant about most of the issues you discuss. Can I ask a few questions? When did Asher get diagnosed with autism? Does autism have a higher prevalence of food allergies associated with it, or is that pure coincidence? Why didn't his doctors fight harder to figure out why he had blood in his stool and vomit? (I'm sure you don't know the answer to this, it just frustrates me that it happens so often) Thank heavens little Asher made it through all that. And good for you for having more children...who do these people think they are, telling you not to have more kids because they may have similar obstacles. YOU are the best thing for your kids and YOU are exactly the type of person who should be given the chance to raise these kids. I have a close friend with a child with Down's syndrome, and I tell her all the time that God knew what he was doing when he gave him to her, because she is exactly what he needs.

There are a lot of details that I left out of those first few weeks, mainly that I was hospitalized for two of them with liver failure and that my poor H was lost amongst doctors trying to help me, trying to help Asher, it was a nightmare.  But the doctors weren't looking for PID, it is a pretty rare thing to show up in a new born and there are only 40 cases of PID: Acute Multiple Protein Allergy Syndrome in children in our whole country.  So they told me it was a dairy allergy and pit him on Alimentum and a crap ton of reflux meds.  To be fair to the specialists, because we work with some of the best, dairy allergies in infants often do cause bloody vomit and stools.  It was so hard to know.  When Asher was at TUFTS two of the on call specialists were specialists that travel from state to state to see patients.  This was on their rotation and just happened to be when we needed them there.  They came in and introduced themselves and said "This is rare, but could we test your son for this immuno problem, he probably doesn't have it"  and you know....we're so lucky because he did and I don't know how long it would have taken to figure it out you know?  Beyond that I know for sure that Asher would have been put on a feeding tube if we didn't know his actual diagnosis.  PID/EE.  It's complicated. 

To answer your other question, children with Autism often have allergies, issues with feeding and digestion early on, and asthma.  They actually call it the 4 A's, Autism, Allergies, Asthma, and ADHD. 

Asher was diagnosed with Autism at age 2.  Someday if it is relevant I will type out that story for you, but to be honest I'm still even after a year and a half, it is still quite raw for me.  I can't do it without crying.  But I do have a blog that I talk about Asher's journey quite a bit in.  And all of you are more than welcome to check it out. 

www.allthingscoleslaw.blogspot.com 

Mittens14

Amen sister!  I'm so sorry for what you went through and for what your beautiful Asher has been through, but thankfully for him, he's got a smart mommy who knew what to do!  And I agree, who cares what anyone else feeds their kid as long as they are feeding them!

Hedgessm

Thank you so much for sharing!  Your strength is incredible.  We as women are so much stronger than we often give ourselves credit for.  And you're right at the end of the day mamas love their kids and generally do what's best for them without question so no judgment here!! 

Also, as a FTM is comforting to know no matter how bad it can be you get through and you love your kid and that's enough

MrsCaddyshack

Amen, sister! If your baby is fed and happy that is ALL that matters!

Bootsie327

Thank you for sharing this! I know it was probably hard to relive but I think it had important for people.