Cloth diapers and Dads

ShinyFirefly

Hi all, 

I am thinking I want to use cloth diapers when our baby arrives, but I'm concerned about my husbands acceptance of them. I have plenty of experience with disposable diapers from babysitting in my youth and working in preschools, and also got some introduction to cloth diapers from preschool kids. 
My husband on the other hand.. I'm not sure has ever changed a diaper in his life. Although perhaps it would be a great time to use cloth since he doesn't know much difference at the time. I know there are the all in one cloth ones that might help him get more comfortable before switching to pre-folds of some sort.
I know this is something to talk to him about and get his input on, I haven't yet because I'm very early in my pregnancy, we haven't even told family yet, and he's still adjusting to the fact that he's going to be a dad. I've got all these thoughts on the birth, diapers and feeding that I haven't mentioned to him just because I know it'll overwhelm him. Don't worry, I will be talking to him to him about what he would like on this topic in the next few months, but do you have any suggestions, thoughts or experience that I could use or reference that might make convincing him easier and provide more confidence to him when he thinks of his ability to change cloth diapers?

CLLDLL

The biggest thing, I think, is what you already mentioned.  He has no experience, so cloth will be just as easy as disposables for him.  Honestly, there's just as much learning curve on disposables.

Other selling points from my husband's point of view:

 

-Less chemicals on our son's bum = healthier baby, maybe improved fertility for him when he wants to have kids of his own

-Way less rashes - our son was allergic to pretty much every disposable brand we tried

-Much cheaper - even with buying some of the pricier CD's and using all new we've only spent around $800 -900.  We spent closer to $2000 to diaper DS1 in disposables. And we'll be able to reuse most of our CDs on any future children for more savings.

- Way less leaks.  Seriously.  Then only leaks we've had with cloth is when we've had user errors or poor fit.  Otherwise the poo & pee stays in the diaper.  With disposables I was having two or more leaks most days.

-Cuteness factor - Who can resist a fluffy bum?  Especially if you leave it uncovered with a pair of baby legs.  OMG.

-  Enviornmental impact is much less with CDs, even with the increased water & detergent use.

CLLDLL

Oh and as far as what types to use to "ease" him into it...while I do think the easiest CD to use is an aplix (velcro) pocket or AIO, there are other types that are almost as easy such as an AI2 system like Best Bottoms or just laying a tri-folded prefold into a cover.  

The problem you'll find with some of those easier types at first is that NB poo is crazy runny and happens a lot.  If you don't have a good fit around those scrawny NB legs poo will leak. Then the diapers you bought to help YH like CDs may make both of you hate CDs. The most customizable fit is a prefold with a jellyroll or angel wing with jellyroll fold.  Yes, there is a learning curve, but when you're changing 12-15 times a day, you'll both get the hang of it quickly. 

Once baby gets to around 10-12 pounds their legs usually chunk up enough to use one-size (OS) diapers and then I really do love having a variety, including some pockets or AIOs that are just as easy to use as disposables.  

csspencer

I really thought DH would be very resistant to the idea of cloth, but I was shocked at how on board he has been. He preferred pockets at first, just because they are so much live disposables, but we also use best bottoms (snap in inserts) and he has said he likes them more. We are going to attempt prefolds soon. But just talk to him, you may be surprised.

littleredfish

Since he's never really diapered a kid either way you're probably thinking too much into it. I'd also give him a little credit; just because he's a man who'd never diapered a kid doesn't mean he needs AIOs. If you want to get some that's fine, but I bought pockets and prefolds and DH (who also never diapered a child before) can fold a mean angel wing. 

amaseya

Chickypoo2468 said:

This is how I got DH to agree to it

Me: Hey I want to use cloth diapers!

DH: uh, ok. Whatever. 

That's exactly what my husband said, lol, and he's really on board with it now.

emmylou78

Bf had never changed a diaper and didn't bat an eyelash at pockets. Now he's never changed a disposible!

I'd either go with just saying you want to. Or maybe just buy one to show him what they are really like and nonchalantly say "Hey these are neat! Let's use these."

shan417

Chickypoo2468 said:

This is how I got DH to agree to it

Me: Hey I want to use cloth diapers!

DH: uh, ok. Whatever. 

This was us too.  He doesn't change that many diapers and I think prefolds intimidate him a little bit, but I think he likes that we use cloth.  Now that DS fits in OS pockets/AIOs he's not so scared to change him, but I think he would really be fine with the prefolds if he tried them a couple more times.  As others have said, Best Bottoms are really simple too.  And trifolding has been working well for us most of the time, too.

cwhitloc

I think it depends on your husband.  Mine was so against it until someone explained the costs savings for it, then he was gun ho.  I never really babysat, so I wasn't too familiar with changing diapers, so I know that helped.  It's just what we did from the beginning, so it wasn't anything crazy. 

cwhitloc

My parents are immigrants, so I always get colloquialisms wrong. Thanks!

cwhitloc

No problem. I didn't take it that way.

LittleLady77

Neither DH or I have ever changed a diaper. I just figured I might as well learn on cloth, I really don't see any good selling points on disposables. I just told DH what the plan was and he was half way on board. He came home one day saying his co workers didn't think cloth would work for us. I asked if any of them had used or even tried cloth before, when the answer was no I basically said their experience is not valid at all. Then I just started buying diapers. Now he's willing to give it a shot.

Mandmeesh

Chickypoo2468 said:

This is how I got DH to agree to it

Me: Hey I want to use cloth diapers!

DH: uh, ok. Whatever. 

I think we have the same husband. Lol

TJ1979

Chickypoo2468 said:

Haha DH and I got in a fight one time and he was saying how I said he was uncompetent and I'm all no I didn't and he's like yeah you did and I'm like no, I didn't, bc uncompetent isn't even a word. Then I realized that there is a time and a place for correcting grammar, and that was neither.

Wrong. It is always the time and place to correct grammar.

Mandmeesh

I stepped over a nasty, dirty disposable diaper while walking near Target. Gross! Point to that next time to show YH how disgusting they are. No one trashes the world with cute fluff!

emmylou78

TJ1979 said:

Chickypoo2468 said:

Haha DH and I got in a fight one time and he was saying how I said he was uncompetent and I'm all no I didn't and he's like yeah you did and I'm like no, I didn't, bc uncompetent isn't even a word. Then I realized that there is a time and a place for correcting grammar, and that was neither.

Wrong. It is always the time and place to correct grammar.

Bf and I got in a fight 2 days ago. And he kept texting me and saying some about "his conscious". I let it slide the first time before I corrected him.

And I kinda like gun ho

sparks4stp

I decided to cd and dh went along without any protesting. Now I catch him bragging to friends and family about it all the time. I love it!

Edit: cause my fingers are too fat and fast.

megpeg

My DH is better with them than I am now. He decided on Black Friday that we needed to do covers and prefolds with our pockets. He also does all the laundry for them. We had basically the same conversation as chickypoo also.

LittleLady77

Chickypoo2468 said:

Neither DH or I have ever changed a diaper. I just figured I might as well learn on cloth, I really don't see any good selling points on disposables. I just told DH what the plan was and he was half way on board. He came home one day saying his co workers didn't think cloth would work for us. I asked if any of them had used or even tried cloth before, when the answer was no I basically said their experience is not valid at all. Then I just started buying diapers. Now he's willing to give it a shot.

DH did come home and say that one day. Apparently EVERYone he worked with had tried it and failed. Um, ok.

Ha! (Ya right) 8-|

ShinyFirefly

Thanks for the replies everyone, I appreciate it! It boosts my confidence about bringing it up to him a bit. 

I particularly like the concept of getting a few before hand and giving him a chance to check them out (and me, I only have experience with one type). We've got a couple friends who use cloth so perhaps I can get them so send me a couple they don't use any more for the baby shower. And I can get those Dads to cheer him on if needed. 

Kelly11235

We started with disposables when our little guy was a newborn (lots of reasons why).

Starting with the 'sposies may have helped convince my husband that cloth was the way to go.  It seemed like we were constantly taking out big bags of stinky dirty diapers, and always buying more new ones.

He loves the Aplix diapers, but he's also snappied on a (prefolded) flat.

He doesn't even mind helping with the diaper laundry lol.

shan417

bookitup said:

Chickypoo2468 said:

Ooh! I knew this guy who would say "supposably". Every time he said it I never had any idea what he said after bc I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Ooh can I play? I used to have a principal who said "fustrating." It got to the point that I would avoid talking to him about my *frustrating* problems because it would drive me so batty when he said it wrong. I seriously think I jolted the first time he said it...I didn't realize anyone outside of 3rd grade could mispronounce it.

I love it when someone posts an honest CD related question and MK turns the whole thread totally off topic.  It keeps life interesting.

OMGTree

My h was on board when I told him we can just throw them in the washer in our apartment instead of him having to take the garbage bag to the compactor on the other side of the complex everyday.
We started with prefolds because that's all that would fit her. My h had no baby experience and did fine with them. We used only prefolds for the first few weeks before I introduced other styles. It was less overwhelming because he felt confident about folding and snapping. I helped him with the first two changes. After that he had it down.

Danie007

My DH doesn't necessarily like cloth. He likes saving money, but doesn't care about any other pros or cons. He just does it, because, it is what I decided I wanted to use.

He started out snappi'ng with J, and now we mostly use pockets. He likes them better, and most likely will use the NB AIOs over the prefolds/fitteds/covers with A. Simply, because, I have them this time anticipating A to be on the small side like his siblings.