Late Term and Child Loss

What is appropriate??

I have a friend who lost triplets near the end of her second trimester last summer. When I visited her (and some other work friends) at lunch yesterday, she asked me whether DH and I have plans to have any more children. I answered, but then I was completely unsure of whether it would be appropriate to ask her how her own plans were going. I kind of feel like maybe she was inviting me to ask, but then again maybe she was just being courteous and asking b/c that's what everyone asks. Ack! I am so confused. I want to be supportive and a good friend, but I am so afraid of bringing up something sensitive. Do you have any advice?



Re: What is appropriate??

  • I assume if she asked you, she is comfortable talking about it

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    I agree - I think if she had asked, she would be comfortable talking about her own plans. I don't think she would have asked if she didn't want to talk about babies at all. When friends started asking me if I planned on having more kids, they would open with "I don't want you to be hurt by this question, so please don't answer if it makes you uncomfortable." Maybe you could open with something like that? I think she would appreciate the support if you did talk to her about her future baby plans.

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