Meltdown (long)

ForevAAROSE

First I really wanna thank every single one of you ladies on here. From the point of our ttc journey, all the way til today you all have helped me so much. God willing, a few more days and I'll be able to share gods precious gift with you all.

Now, back to the meltdown.
I guess I'll start with saying that since I've been in the hospital, DH's support hasn't been the best. Idk if its because he doesn't deal with this kinda thing too well - hes an only child and the relationship btwn him and his mom is so weird, like totally awkward. Or maybe bc he just doesn't care that much (I truly doubt this one, but at ththis point I can believe anything). Yes, he's stayed with me 5 nights and I've been here 11 days. I dont really hold it against him bc we have a dog that needs to be walked, in addition, this recliner for a man as tall as him is not comfy at all. But its truly the way he goes about things. He has been complaining about work since ive been in here, complaining about how tired he is, etc. I've been just supportive, making him feel better, being his pick me up - when in reality I'm the one in the jacked up situation.

I've been having high blood pressure readings for the past three days. So now the nurses/docs/hospital staff have had me up ALL night regarding pre-preeclampsia. Between blood work, pressure readings, doctor talks, and other vital readings I haven't slept. I have a headache from hell which apparently is from the blood pressure issue. I have been taking tylenol which I'm not thrilled about because I've tried this whole pg to stay away from any unneeded pills. So the verdict is I have pre-preeclampsia. My bloodwork showed no sign of it, but my pressure and apparently my "expression" shows otherwise. They will continue to monitor it, if it stays high LO may come sooner than thursday.

Now back to DH. I think I've mentioned ona few Ibother posts that his friends planned a trip to atlantic city this weekend I'm honor of him becomming a dad. With all that's been going on he cancelled, but once we found out LO will come thursday,he decided to go again. Of course I was totally sour about this, but I told him as long as he stays alert to his phone, I don't mind. Atlantic city is about 1 1/2 hrs away so in case of emergency, he can be here soon. So he promised, & left last night around 8ish. I expected a txt/ call wen he arrived which didn't happen. Normally I wouldn't care, its a guys weekend, when I'm with my girls I often leave my phone in the car or hotel room. But this situation is different. I needed that call to let him know what had been goin on with my BP. No call. I called, no answer, no reply to text either. Now, knowing that he had been working since 430 & knowing the crowd he's with, I figured he probably went to sleep - but that isn't excusable. So I texted him flipping out, and really letting him know how disappointed I am in him since I've been here.

He texted me this morning saying he was sorry he fell asleep. Whatever, I'm so annoyed with him. Right now for all I care,he can sstay his ass in atlantic city. Grrrr.

I'm stuck dealing with this alone and I don't want to alarm my mom. She doesn't know he went to a.c. and if I tell her, that'sa whole other drama.


Blahhh, rant over.

lizrn1975

How annoying; you have every right to be annoyed!! You are a strong woman; hang in there. Keep us posted. xo

Roeni

I'm sorry you are going through this. I think his behavior is pretty selfish.

twistsandturnsto2

I'm with @ThoseThreeWords.... MH would totally think I was just napping and resting all day and come to me and vent about how hard/long his day was. That does not excuse your H in the least, I just know that's how he would react to the situation.
Maybe when he gets back from AC you can sit him down and let him know just how bad you are feeling? I honestly hate having "arguments" or vent sessions with my H over text message(he always reads into the words the wrong way). And maybe not even bring up anything he hasn't done, just say that YOU really need some support and love right now? I don't think you should excuse his behavior, but I'm not sure getting into a big argument with him right now over it is the best thing for either one of you.

Hang in there mamma! You are in the home stretch. You get to finally meet your LO in a matter of days!

ForevAAROSE

Totally think he is under the impression I'm sleeping all day. I let him know that I'm seriously sleep deprived and its so stressful. He's apologetic now but I'm angry that he's in a.c while I'm going thru all this. I'm furious.

I am hoping I can chill out, I don't want this to mess with LO. She's been a good girl these past few days.

Thanks for your feedback ladies. I really appreciate it.

imoverit

Im sorry. I honestly feel like he just has no clue. My DH was this way and now that DS is 2 1/2 he has finally started to realize how to be more responsible in his decisions. Not sure if its a guy thing. . You still have every right to be upset btw!!

sunflowermama42212

I'm sorry but I guess I'm selfish but if I was in the hospital and my husband wanted to go to Atlantic city then id tell him he can have his funeral there. I know your probably a more understanding person then me but I would not tolerate those priorities. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

oO Angie Oo

I am so sorry this is adding to your already stressful situation. I can't believe you let him go though!! If I was in your shoes and going back and forth with when the baby is coming there is NO WAY I would have let him go anywhere!! You are sooooo nice and good to him. I absolutely agree with you that he needs to be on alert with that phone in case there is an emergency and you need him. I'm not sure when he's coming back but if I was you I wouldn't bicker about it because that's only going to add more stress to your body and baby. Wait until after she's born then let him have it!!! Haha. Hang in there!! Can't wait to see you LO!!

amb2013

Ugh....so sorry! You don't need any added aggravation. Sounds like he is going through something, like freaked out about his life changing. But either way, you and the baby come first. I really hope you guys can get through this so you can focus on taking care of you and your baby girl.

PhillyJ33

Yikes- you are going through a lot so a meltdown is warranted! You were very nice to let DH go on his trip while you are stuck in the hospital. I would be very angry too at him not answering texts or calls in your situation. Sorry you are going through this. Is he coming home tonight or tomorrow?

ForevAAROSE

He's totally freakin out that his life is about to change. I guess its different for me, hello I went thru two ivf cycles to get here, and now ur realizing our lives are gunna change, duh thats why we're 13k in deep now dork. Ugh he drives me bonkers. But has checked on me twice today. He'll be back early tomorrow morning. I let hI'm go for a few reasons: One - I dont have the energy to go thru why I don't want him to go. Two: not feeling resentment, if he didn't go, I woulda never got the last of that one. He's stubborn as ever. I could fight him all day long about it but if the baby doesn't come, he would be useless to me. So whatever. Just talking about it pisses me off.

Tomorrow when he's back I have a list of things for him to handle at the house. And I swear If I hear a freakin peep I will go bonkers on him!

Thanks ladies.

krdesi

Oh my! I would want to hurt my husband! He's already driving me bonkers, so we will see if he makes it this whole pregnancy without injury. They just dont get it! He thinks because I'm home all day, I should be doing everything even though I have felt like poo allll week and there's no sign of that improving anytime soon. But he sees all these perky pregnant women on the street in the city and thinks I should be like that because every pregnant woman is the same obviously! I was loudly dry heaving last night (because I can't help it!) And he actually said "God! Would you stop making that noise!?"....Yeah, I'll get right on that dh (dumb husband)!

amwenz

I'm sorry dh had to add to the stress. They don't deal with stress the same as us and often our way drives them crazy! Find another supportive person and rub that belly and talk to lo. One day at a time.

whoberry

Ugh!  The no text/call thing would have pissed me off big time too.  It really sounds like he doesn't understand that being in the hospital is not a vacation for you.  At the same time, it sounds like he is pretty stressed and maybe just isn't dealing with it very well.  I'm sure he is worried about you and the baby.

I hope you can get some sleep soon and that your BP and headache improve!

tryingyetagain

Ugh, no wonder you are pissed! I would be fuming mad. Going to a.c. is one thing, and I understand he probably wants one last hurrah, and it's bad enough but somewhat understandable (although I would have said hell no to DH if he suggested it!), but not answering his phone is inexcusable. I know everyone is different, but I would probably fester too much to not deal with it before LO arrives. I would probably need to get it all out or my BP would be worse. But that's just me, I do better to deal with stuff head on. I'd rather have dealt with it and made up by the time LO arrives. You do whatever you need to do to get your bp down, whether it's waiting or hashing it out! Hugs, you'll be home soon with that sweet baby girl!

BlueEyedDreamer

Wow, I would be extremely pissed. I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you need to have a serious talk with him.

auntjessy

So sorry!!!  I would be fuming mad - and I can't even imagine my DH mentioning such a thing!!  However, he's not a 1st time dad, although I'm a ftm - and he's now 46, so has had lots of time to mature.  I hope when he gets back you guys can kiss and make up and put all this nastiness behind you while you stare at your gorgeous LO.  Everyone makes mistakes, some are just stupider than others.  :P