Did you get a baby shower (2+ kids) when it was your 1st boy or girl?

christsgurl

I know some people who have gotten another shower with a new gender and I know a few who haven't. I think most days most families just give 1 shower for the 1st baby & maybe a 2nd if they haven't had a baby in years or sometimes to celebrate the 1st boy or girl. But sometimes not. Wanted to know what other experiences were with this.

VanessaNC09

For our first we got all gender neutral for the large items. We had a boy. If the next one is a girl, I've already had a friend want to throw a "sprinkle" to so I can get girl clothes. I wouldn't register or anything. I don't see anything wrong with something like that, but everyone is different.

Helenahhandbasket

One shower.

MJM3108

MandJS said:

You won't know the gender of the baby until well after delivery. Generally around 4 or 5 at the earliest. And there is nothing wrong with girls in blue or boys in pink.

So no. Baby showers are for first time moms. The sex of the baby is not a justification to get around the rules of etiquette. And if precious Jack can't ride in a a pink car seat, well, that's on the parents for poor planning when buying/registering for the first car seat in the first place.

I absolutely love this response, especially the bolded! And, ditto PP,  no new shower. 

Meery82

I have a boy and plan to have another child. All the big stuff we have (strollers, car seats, etc) are gender neutral. But I have saved all my son's baby stuff to use for the next child, gender neutral or not. So if my next baby is a girl, she's going to have to be okay with wearing pajamas that are blue or have fire trucks on them. I doubt she will mind. Therefore, you don't get a second shower just because your next baby is a different sex. There's no need.

jacobandnikki12

IMO a second shower is totally fine if it's been a long time since your first child or even if it's a different sex! It's up to you and your support team...just do what feels right for you!

And on that note my child will be 10 years old when my new baby is born. This was an unplanned pregnancy and I am 35...I have nothing for a baby and am planning on having a 2nd shower...

Meery82

IMO a second shower is totally fine if it's been a long time since your first child or even if it's a different sex! It's up to you and your support team...just do what feels right for you! And on that note my child will be 10 years old when my new baby is born. This was an unplanned pregnancy and I am 35...I have nothing for a baby and am planning on having a 2nd shower...

No. Buy it yourself. It is your responsibility and yours alone to provide for YOUR baby. You can't demand gifts just because you are unprepared. So rude.

jacobandnikki12

I agree! It's def not up to our friends and family to provide for a child we are having BUT if you have friends and family who are thrilled to do so then do then allow them to...

Meery82

jacobandnikki12 said:

I agree! It's def not up to our friends and family to provide for a child we are having BUT if you have friends and family who are thrilled to do so then do then allow them to...

If people want to give you gifts, they will. You don't have to have a shower for that.

VanessaNC09

I planned ahead and got all neutral big items and I'm more than able to provide for my kids, but if all of my friends are already talking about having a little something if this one is a girl (since I have a boy), I see nothing wrong with it. Just like I see nothing wrong with a friend who already has a boy and is having another boy, and all of us friends are getting together to have a little something for her. Who cares. If your friends and family want to do something for you, I see nothing wrong with it. Everyone has their own opinion.

VanessaNC09

I see nothing wrong with throwing my friend a shower when she will have her second boy...I guess I'm benefiting from that too.

Twiggymommy

No. In certain circumstances I would be OK with a second shower, but a different set is NOT one of them.

My mom had a second shower for my baby brother who is 18 years younger then me. While that alone is not a reason for a second shower she was also told she would never have children again and it was a miracle she even conceived me. I think it was acceptable for her to have another shower.

But like I said 99 percent of the time no you don't get another shower.

dufferoo

Are you ready for it? I had 2 showers for my second child, who was my first boy. Shocking, I know! It definitely had less to do with the fact that it was my first boy and more to do with the fact that it had been 10 years since my daughter was born, I had an entirely different social set, and the fact that it was my husband's first baby. (I was a young single mom with my first.) We did not register nor did we expect any necessities to be provided for us. I was superstoked for every last toy, blanket and outfit we received, and my husband and I happily bought everything else we wanted for the baby.

Nicolewinsbingo

To answer the original question, my family and friends only throw a shower for the first baby.  But my church throws a small shower for every single baby.  So I will have a shower for this baby after he/she is born, thrown by the church ladies, just church ladies and my mom in attendance.  

laurakaz13

One shower.  That's it.  People will buy you gifts for your new baby anyway if they want to. 

daisy662

jacobandnikki12 said:

IMO a second shower is totally fine if it's been a long time since your first child or even if it's a different sex! It's up to you and your support team...just do what feels right for you! And on that note my child will be 10 years old when my new baby is born. This was an unplanned pregnancy and I am 35...I have nothing for a baby and am planning on having a 2nd shower...

This is terrible advice. OP, no, there should not be a second shower. It is not anyone else's job to provide for your child. People need to get over this sense of entitlement and provide for their own children. Not the government, not the families and friends. Enough is enough.

MMason12

Darbie914 said:

Joy2611 said:

I don't understand why anyone would need a whole second shower if the next child has different genitalia.  Boys.. Girls..  they all use the same stuff.

If someone really blanches at putting a boy in a pink carseat, they should think about how many kids they want and register for gender neutral stuff.  Having a second shower to gather all new stuff in a new color is just ridiculous.  And wasteful.

All of this.  Children of the opposite sex can still use the same baby gear.  Parents need to plan ahead when purchasing things if they plan to have more than one child.  

This!!  All of this!!  We will be registering for and buying all gender neutral stuff since we know we are going to want 2 kids. 

graciesmurf

I give a gift for every baby regardless of birth order.  However, I feel that showers are for first time mothers.  I will decline a shower if I have another child, and I rarely go to second showers.

PrimRoseMama

Generally sex of the baby does not mean another shower. I have yet to get a good answer about why that is ok.

Cranang

One shower. If people want to give you gifts they can. I just don't get the different genitalia excuse...so if the second baby had the same anatomy it wouldn't warrant a party?

normandyn7

No. No. No. We just had our first...a boy. The next baby I plan on being team green. I will not have another shower and if someone offers to throw me one I will tell them no. I'm keeping all my son's clothes just in case it's a boy. If it's a girl I figure a newborn doesn't need that many clothes so we will just buy some stuff after she is born. My sons car seat is blue and we will use that for either a boy or girl. If people want to give me gifts....great. I figure since we won't know the gender until after people will bring gifts after he/she is born. I don't need a bunch of new stuff just because it's a girl.

MGP

Cranang said:

One shower. If people want to give you gifts they can. I just don't get the different genitalia excuse...so if the second baby had the same anatomy it wouldn't warrant a party?

Exactly! This is the worst excuse EVER. I have a family friend who got pregnant with her 2nd when her son was about 2. Her friends offered to throw her a shower and she accepted. When she found out she was having another boy they withdrew the offer, saying "well we just really wanted to throw a frilly pink girl shower. Since you are having another boy we don't want to do it now". Which is INCREDIBLY rude. This is why I am of the "one shower only" opinion. The gender excuse is lame and it's basically saying that someone who conceives the opposite sex is deserving of a shower than someone that didn't. There is no logic there. You get welcomed to motherhood once. Once you deliver that ship has sailed. And yes any parent should family plan accordingly to solely provide for their children ans not shake down their family and friends every time they get knocked up. (Sorry no paragraphs will fix)

DogfishHead

I only have one child, but I would decline a second shower if offered. I know they are becoming more and more common, but I am not into it.

*sparky*

I am PG with my 2nd child now, which is a girl.  I have an 8-yr-old son, so a lot of the car seats, etc. had to be tossed because they were expired.  My dad said my SIL (brother's wife) wanted to throw me a shower for this LO but I turned them down, even with the huge age gap and different sex of the 2nd baby.  I just would feel weird having another shower thrown for me when my shower for my first baby was huge and people were extremely generous.

My dad pushed a little saying they really wanted to do this for me, and I just said I appreciate that you are all excited and it is nice if you want to buy things for the baby, but that doesn't mean everyone is on board with that.  As others have said, if people want to buy baby gifts they will, whether there is a shower or not.  That doesn't mean that everyone of your family/friends feels the same way though. 

DH and I are just slowly buying what we need for this LO.

meganbfrogs

i say celebrate every child!! personally if someone offered to do a second shower for me i would insist on adding "no gifts" and maybe call it a fun themed name. I think its old fashion to think we can not celebrate every pregnancy and child.

DogfishHead

I only have one child. But, I would refuse a second shower, if offered.

I don't get the whole second shower thing.

meganbfrogs

why call is baby shower at all then, but a mother to be shower? if you call it a theme of some sort or just have a cook out, no official invites, celebrating a baby seems pretty normal to me. but just like you have your opinion I have mine

lcje97

I'm pregnant with my 3rd baby and having a shower. I also never had a baby shower before. I think if your having one great if not great! I don't expect people to buy stuff for the baby! I think it's great I have a wonderful set of friends who WANT to do it.

Meery82

SmileyGirl18 said:

Waving to @cranang!

I was offered a second shower before my MMC with my second pregnancy and I declined.  I will do the same with this LO.  

Even if LO is a girl, all of our big items are gender neutral, so they will be re-used.  We will buy anything else we need.  This kid is our responsibility.

But...we are going to do several registries for ourselves for completion coupons.  Go ahead flame away! 

Saving money is most definitely not flameable!

HBirdie

This question is asked so much on here that one of these threads should just be pinned. )

classc1

This thread is absolutely hysterical!! So many people- so very opinionated and so sure of their views of absolutely no second shower. I call BS. Not to mention the ridiculous judgmental tone. Personally, Im a FTM and had a large shower and would never want my friends to throw me a second one as at my age, it would be close in time. That being said, I see nothing wrong with a sprinkle for a different sex baby just for clothes and gender specific items or a shower when several years separate the children. The only thing I think is uncalled for are two huge showers close in time but guess what... that's MY opinion and you know what they say about opinions. Quit the self-rightious crap and realize that just because YOU have an opinion does not make it right. Girls, do whatever you like and if your friends and family want to throw you a shower for each kiddo and that's ok with you... so be it!! If someone doesn't agree, they can stay home.

Cranang

@SmileyGirl18, waving back! I'm mobile...how far along are you with this new little one??

MsMissa

Please share the title of the book that covers both manners and grammar. Or did you mean to say she should pick up books to cover each topic?

ordinary1

I will not have a shower for any subsequent children. I was lucky enough to be thrown two showers with my first. I have been welcomed to motherhood and am now a mom. It wouldn't make sense for me to be welcomed again.

veetveet

We were one and done... and I gave away everything last year. Then I got pregnant again unexpectedly. I do not want another shower. I've been picking up practically brand new second hand items here and there. I hate showers to begin with (including my own) - I would not want to inconvenience anyone.

A friend of mine had a diaper shower for her sister's second. It was a nice gesture and simple. But a full blown shower is tacky in my opinion.

pigtails1031777

Well I guess in a bad person baby #3 is having a kick ass shower.
Dd1&2 now ds#3

cchild101010

My sister-in-law had a shower with all three of her kids. The first two were boys and the third was a girl. I remember thinking how tacky it was and kind of saying something about the second one, but my MIL shut me down FAST! In my SIL's defense, she had moved across country when the second was born and had a whole new set of friends that wanted to throw a shower. The shower for her daughter was thrown by family and ok because "this one was a surprise, she got rid of most of her stuff and is a different gender". My take: she and her husband can't afford any of their children but....

I do know people that have had a sprinkle and it seems cute if you keep it small, don't register and baby is a different gender. But I know people on here are very anti second shower for any reason.