preschool....

saraandles

My son started attending pre-k 3 in September. He transitioned from a daycare and overall his teacher said he was adjusting fine. The teacher only sends notes home if the child is struggling with something or has an issue. She told us that if we do not see notes then we should just assume our child is doing okay.  Well recently my baby boy has been getting notes. The notes started out simple "has trouble sharing", "didn't participate in clean up". Now they have escalated ton "swinging lunch box", "running around the room", "screaming", "laughing at teachers and telling them no". I called the teacher previously and had a meeting with her. Both times she told me that she was not concerned about his behaviors and kept telling me "he is 3", "he isn't the only one doing these things". The last note I received ended with saying please contact her so we could discuss options. I contacted her. I suggested maybe using a sticker chart or an appropriate behavior modification system. She said she doesn't believe in using such things. I asked if she felt he was not ready for this or if he appears over stimulated. She said no. My son was evaluated for speech concerns a year ago and qualified for therapy. They did a full comprehensive evaluation and he barley made the cut for speech (his delays were mild). Anyways his speech has improved greatly and his therapist said she could recommend dismissal, but she wasn't going to. She said the teacher has told her about the concerns and they would both like him to continue therapy (as do I). I am struggling because what is normal and what is abnormal???? Is something wrong? At home he plays great. He is able to have play dates with friends and does fine. I am wondering if this is a maturity issue? Anyone out there with advice, words of encouragement??? The negative notes really take a tole on all of us. 

saraandles

I suggested a sticker chart or some sort of motivation chart to target specific behaviors. She just stated "I don't like to use those. I don't think he will respond." 

ladylisalt

I don't have any specific advice but can understand your frustration. I too agree she should offer some suggestions. As a teacher of older students it is often a tough call. If you write home too often parents get discouraged by the negativity yet if you don't write often they get upset they weren't informed or "wished they knew earlier. It is a tough balance. I think with younger children communication frequently is important even if its not the news you want to hear. As long as you know you are doing your best as a parent and show involvement then don't be so hard on yourself. Alot of behaviors are probably things he will soon outgrow or learn to follow consistently.

saraandles

Thanks everyone! I am going to meet with the teacher and his speech therapist after the holiday. I am a special education teacher (5/6). There are plenty of things I do differently as far as informing parents. I work with ebd kids that frequently act out. I always feel it is important to highlight some positives as well!!! I need to learn to control my emotions. I forget everythig I know and worry so much!!!