Introduction

AlbertaGrayGirl · December 2013

Hey all!

I am brand new to this forum and super excited to get to know you. I guess I will start by sharing our story thus far.

DH and I were married in June 2009. In October 2010, we started "trying". No luck. I have always had irregular periods, but we weren't worried right away. We waited the typical year and then went in for medical exams. DH was diagnosed with very low sperm motility, and I was diagnosed with PCOS. A double whammy. Our doctors sent us to the closest fertility clinic, 2 hours away. We waited for our appointment and then went up for the initial tests and meetings. The specialist talked us through our options, and told us frankly that our chances were very low for success. We decided to go through one round of IUI anyway. It's not too invasive or expensive for us. We didn't even make it all the way through the procedure because I had a reaction to some of the medication. After a lot of careful consideration, we decided to switch our focus to adoption, rather than spend all of our energy, time, and money pursuing medical procedures that likely wouldn't even be effective.

In November/December 2012 we took the required courses for Foster Care/Adoption through our local government. We had all of our necessary paperwork submitted in February 2013, and are on the waiting list for a home study. We are on the very bottom of their priority list, however. When filling out the paperwork, we were selective about what we would be willing to accept as far as conditions in the child. It's not that we believe we couldn't love any child, but we have to be very honest with ourselves about what we are capable of handling. My husband was raised with a mentally handicapped brother, and he is concerned that he would not be able to go through all of the extra heartache that he watched his mother go through. It wouldn't be fair to those children for us to find out too late that we couldn't handle it. People like us who are looking to adopt healthy (at least to some degree) children are a dime a dozen, and are very low on the government priority list for home studies. If anyone completes the course who is more open in who they will accept, they are bumped above us. It could be a very long time, if ever, before our turn comes up.

This past month, we started looking into private through our church. It is considerably more expensive than government adoption, but that added cost ensures that we get a home study. We are planning to submit that paperwork in the new year and see where our paths take us. So far, it feels like we are hitting brick walls each direction that we turn. I know that it's just the anxiety and stress of the whole situation making things appear more miserable than they already are, but it's still hard to keep perspective in the midst of it all.

Sorry for the long post. I am so excited to get to know you all and to share our adventures on the road to parenthood together.

pleasebeonsale · December 2013

Good luck!

Dr.Loretta · December 2013

Welcome

irismorning · December 2013

Welcome! I would definitely check out your other options. You never know what might present itself!

justjinny · December 2013

Welcome and good luck!

Sometimes in the adoption process it feels like there are brick walls every which way you turn, but really it just takes some of a few tries to get on the right path.

When MH & I were ready to start the process, we had a huge let down that the wait list was full at our first agency of choice. After calling them to check in for 6 weeks straight (which feels like a lifetime when you're ready to get things rolling) we switched to a different agency and from there things went very quickly. Now that we have a little baby at home with us, I just think back to how sad and frustrating it was at first, but how lucky we were for it all. We never would have been matched with his BM or ever known this little guy if things had gone smoothly for us right off the bat.

Keep your chin up & your options open