NWMR: Vent About School Parties

FemShep

Ugh.  DD1's class is having a party on Thursday.  The teacher told us in our weekly update email on Friday that the kids voted on what they'd like and our class parent reps will be giving us information so we can figure out what to bring in.  

Silence from the class reps.

We got the list of stuff the kids wanted yesterday, two days before the party. I replied to the organizer immediately saying that I'd bring in potato chips, she said that would be great, and I made a special trip to the grocery store to pick up the chips (which we don't keep at home because we focus on healthy snacks to help DD1's weight).  

This morning, I got an email from the organizer explaining that other people will be bringing in chips and asking if I could pick something else to bring in.

No, no I can't pick up something else.  I can't leave work early to squeeze in a trip to the grocery store.  I literally do not have an extra 20 minutes in my evening, not with a full-time job and two kids.  Sorry, lady, your poor organization is not my fault.  

ccam

Oops, you never got her e-mail!  I wouldn't even reply.

82Sonia

Heck no. I wouldn't even respond to the second email.

jasminelorraine20

That's ridiculous that they would even email you again asking that question. I don't blame you!

rubber_chicken

RVASC811 said:

Ugh. As a parent of a kid with food allergies, these things are my nightmare anyway. Can we move past class parties with parent provided food?!?

THIS.  Between food allergies and the obesity epidemic, its time we stopped centering celebrations around food.

djm31012

absolutely would not be changing. you bought the chips. there is your contribution. let someone else change what they are doing.

jlaOK

Agree. I hate last minute sign up for food. There was a list out out this week of what parents will bring on Friday for "polar express" day. I'm so thankful that DS won't be going in that day so that I don't have to make a special trip to the store.

mommymegan831

I totally agree that was an obnoxious email and I would still be bringing in the chips, but some of you sound really uptight.  What's so wrong with letting kids have a special party once in a while with some treats.  DD is allergic to peanuts and I trust her and her treats to make sure she doesn't come in contact with any.  I like baking special treats so I'm a little disappointed that parents are never asked to bring anything in.  At our school when they do a party we pay $5 for the food and whatever activity.  It does make life alot easier, but not really as much fun. 

groovygrl

Celebrations and holidays have centered around food for as long as humans have been around as far as I'm concerned so I think there are bigger fish to fry when it comes to obesity & other nutrition related health problems. Center them around healthier food, smaller portions, etc. if you need to but there is no escaping food/holidays being connected and if done in moderation it shouldn't be an issue, it is the everyday eating that is the issue.  Allergies are a different issue, our school doesn't allow parent provided food unless it is specific brands, etc that have been vetted by the school to be nut free and never anything homemade. My kids don't have allergies but it doesn't bother me at all b/c I'd want it that way if I had a child w/ them. So they still get to have celebrations and treats but no allergy worries.

Regarding the OP totally bring the chips, you offered, she said great, they gave you no notice & you bought something. Done.  I personally am not one to ignore the email & pretend I didn't see it so I would probably write back and say that you went out and got them when she told you that was all good in the previous email and you won't be able to get anything else before the party, so sorry.

LoCarb

JellyBellyStar said:

I'd apologize and say wish I had seen this e-mail earlier but I've already purchased the food products.   Thanks for arranging the party insert your kids name here can't wait.  

This. Don't budge and bring the chips.

Adding my own party vent. On Tuesday, DD1's class posted they are having a party Friday with a book gift exchange. I'm working late and through my lunches this week. I have to make a special trip to the store to purchase a book. I don't want my child to be crushed bc she cannot participate. A monthly calendar is sent out and this was not on it. More notice for WM's please.

FemShep

So I wrote back to the organizing mom saying that I had already bought chips for the party and wouldn't be able to make a trip to purchase something else.  I got an, "Oh, OK, thanks." response.  And DD went in with chips today.

I will likely be "that unhelpful mom" in the class gossip, and Organizer Mom can go take a leap as far as I'm concerned.  

And with all the PPs, I totally agree, WHY is it so hard to give even a week's notice about stuff like this so we can pick whatever we need up on the weekend?  It's not like the holidays are sneaking up on us.  Every year, the class has a party on the second to last day of school before the holiday break.  Every year the school is closed at the same time.  WTF is it so hard to plan this?  /smh

MirandaHobbes

FemShep said:

And with all the PPs, I totally agree, WHY is it so hard to give even a week's notice about stuff like this so we can pick whatever we need up on the weekend?  It's not like the holidays are sneaking up on us.  Every year, the class has a party on the second to last day of school before the holiday break.  Every year the school is closed at the same time.  WTF is it so hard to plan this?  /smh

It's not hard to plan, seriously. I'm the classroom rep of our kindy and the teacher sent out the list 2 weeks in advance. I emailed her asking if anyone forgot to bring their item (they are making gingerbread houses), thinking I'd make a run to Target and get anything she still needed, but she said that every single person brought their item on time. A little planning goes a long way!

ss+el

Ugh. That's frustrating. My sister's son got a notice from his teacher for today sent on Tuesday (which went to her ex) and the reminder (with horrible spelling and punctuation to boot!) the next day. Thanks all around for that heads up.

You might try making this suggestion - My son's teacher keeps a shutterfly page for all the parents in his grade. There are tabs for news, photos, a message board and.... a volunteer page! She put all of the volunteer opportunities (classroom readers, field trip chaperones, etc) on it at the beginning of the year and adds the class parties about a month in advance. The homeroom moms come up with a list of what is needed and we all sign up for what we'll send. It worked well for Halloween and I imagine will for Christmas (party is tomorrow).

plus12012

When I was working for a public school. We stopped having parents send in food for parties and instead asked them (far in advance) to send a $1. This way as teachers we were able to go out, purchase healthy snacks that met the guidelines for any children in the room with allergies and we often would do something fun like choose snacks that could also be a fun project or fit a fun theme. I'd highly recommend you make that suggestion to the class representative or organizer of the classroom special events.

dglvrk2

I'm a teacher.  I too dislike (ok - HATE) the smorgusboard (sp?) of food that often shows up at classroom parties.  I post a sign up for specific treats a week or so in advance. This year it's fruit pies -  one SMALL piece per student and 100% juice or water.  Anything extra - eg the candy sent to school by some non-letter/email reading parent - is  politely sent back home.  Occassionally I get the raised eyebrow and the "What, no jumbo cookies??" comment.  However most parents thank me for keeping it simple.

OP: I wouldn't worry about the email.  The kids won't notice extra/fewer of something :-)

SebsMum

haha I have sort of the opposite vent after doing my party today.  I sent out a letter 2 weeks ago, mentioned it in the school newsletter, put up a sign and spoke to my non-letter reading parents about the party today.  I still had 3 parents turn up without food to contribute who said they had no idea there was a party today because I had never told them.  Le sigh...

dglvrk2

SebsMum said:

haha I have sort of the opposite vent after doing my party today.  I sent out a letter 2 weeks ago, mentioned it in the school newsletter, put up a sign and spoke to my non-letter reading parents about the party today.  I still had 3 parents turn up without food to contribute who said they had no idea there was a party today because I had never told them.  Le sigh...

I hear ya!  My party is tomorrow and I'm sure I'll get the "no idea" comment too. 

KL777

You did right! Good for you. A two day notice is terrible. We had a four day notice so I asked DH if he could pick up the item, since I'm always doing school related stuff.

skibunny59

SebsMum said:

haha I have sort of the opposite vent after doing my party today.  I sent out a letter 2 weeks ago, mentioned it in the school newsletter, put up a sign and spoke to my non-letter reading parents about the party today.  I still had 3 parents turn up without food to contribute who said they had no idea there was a party today because I had never told them.  Le sigh...

Ha!  This is funny!  I'm a teacher too and I also get super frustrated when I send home information with plenty of time and parents have no idea because they didn't read the notice.

Shelly038

dglvrk2 said:

I'm a teacher.  I too dislike (ok - HATE) the smorgusboard (sp?) of food that often shows up at classroom parties.  I post a sign up for specific treats a week or so in advance. This year it's fruit pies -  one SMALL piece per student and 100% juice or water.  Anything extra - eg the candy sent to school by some non-letter/email reading parent - is  politely sent back home.  Occassionally I get the raised eyebrow and the "What, no jumbo cookies??" comment.  However most parents thank me for keeping it simple.

OP: I wouldn't worry about the email.  The kids won't notice extra/fewer of something :-)

I'm a teacher as well.  I hate food at parties.  I do not have parent volunteers come into my classroom and I do not have an aide.  With 28 second graders, food at parties becomes a headache.  It takes forever to hand out and clean up afterwards.  I never ask for food.  Occasionally, I will provide popcorn and juice...something simple.  However, I can tell you that every year, I will get at least one parent who sends in food without even mentioning it to me. 

Sarafar4

I'm a teacher and we rely on room parents to organize our class parties. I have seen some great ones and some very, putting it nicely, disorganized ones. It is hard for the teacher to shoulder all of the responsibilities if the room parents fall short, especially this year when reports cards and conferences are also in December. . I agree that she should not have emailed you after you already offered your snack. I doubt any child would be upset with too many chips at a party! Try to remember, though, that these parents are volunteering their time to organize fun events for your child too. All mothers are busy by definition and have our children's best interests at heart. If you are very unhappy with the way things are run at your child's school you can always take control and offer to help organize the next party.