Babies: 0 - 3 Months
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It does get better right?
These past couple of weeks have been complete hell. He went from being happy sleeping baby who only cried when he was hungry or naked to monster baby who cries all day, won't sleep and needs to be held constantly. I feel like I'm losing it. Yesterday I almost grabbed my keys and left him all alone crying on the couch. I'm super depressed, but I'm calling my dr Friday to see about getting some meds. I just need to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
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Re: It does get better right?
It totally gets better! I am here to tell you, straight up, that those first 6-8 weeks are the hardest part! Hang in there!! Do what you need to do to keep him happy right now. And definitely talk to your doc. Can DH watch him for a few hours so you can get out of the house?
(((((BIG HUMUNGO HUGS))))
Yes sweetie it does get so much better! I swear when he hit 3 months it was a light switch went off in the kid. Like you I had a meltdown at 4 wks and looking back now I dont know how in the hell i did it or what i did those weeks are all a blur to me!
Hang in there, and yes get out and get some alone time. I truly do not feel like a bonded with my child until at least 10 weeks old when he actually showed some interest in me other than eating.
Another Humongo hug from me as well!
Seriously, it's crazy time isn't it? I felt like I was losing my mind for a good few weeks there. Then we hit 6 weeks and it started to get much better for all of us!! I wrote a blog post about it too. Hitting 6 weeks was the turning point for us.
If you need to chat, you know where to find me
)
I know exactly what you mean.....i did not have that immediate connection either.....it really took some time for me to fall in love with him. You ARE not alone in your feelings.
YES!!! oh my gosh, it was the worst time around 3 weeks. my baby had colic and it was hell. take all the help you can get when you can get it. try and stay focused on the small things that are going well - it helps.
the connection is hard when they are having a tough time. best of luck!
I remember one day when DD was a few weeks old and DH left for work in the morning. I cried from the time he left for work until he came home for lunch 4 hours later. Those days sucked.
DD was a very fussy newborn. There were a lot of tears (her and me). She wanted to be held all the time. I had no interest in trying to form a bond with her and enjoy her first few weeks because it was just all about survival at that point. I knew that eventually I would get to know her better and that things would even out but man, I don't have fond memories of that first little while. Now, I'm sitting here watching DH play with DD and it's so freaking awesome. She's such a great little girl and I love her so much.
It will get so much better for you. It's a huge adjustment but you will get used to your new life. You will figure out what to do and you will get really really good at taking care of him. And you'll even start to love it.
In the meantime, let the housework slide, take any help that is offered, forget about showering, don't pressure yourself to have dinner ready and laundry can wait. Get a carrier and put him in it whenever you can and get out whenever you can. It will pass, I swear.
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The first 6 weeks or so suck. Once you both get settled into a routine and can move about your days and nights automatically, it gets easier.
Definitely see your doc though if you know you need additional help. Good luck!
I wish i could say it gets better but our DD is 3 mos and it hasnt gotten better. I was just reading this website about high needs infants. She definitly fits all 12 signs!
https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050400.asp
omg, i totally went through this. weeks 0-7.5 were hell for us (ds is 9.5 wks now). dh woke up many nights to me crying, nursing ds, saying we will never have any more kids, saying ds was going to drive me to an insane asylum, wondering how the heck anyone ever lives through this, saying there's no way other babies were this bad because how did they and their parents survive... it was hell and i was wondering (aloud, to anyone who would listen), why everyone is so flipping excited for you to be pregnant and never tells you of the hell it can be until after you have the baby (nearly everyone told me they really struggled with the first several weeks of their child's life). during these weeks, i was afraid for my marriage and for my relationship with my son. the baby i'd bonded with inside, kicking and moving, what i pictured it to be like with a newborn, was not at all what happened. even though i loved him so much, those first several weeks were purely just about survival. we moved the day ds was born too, so my house was a complete disaster and i really, truly had to just let it and everything else go and just make it through those weeks.
now i look back and remember a vague jumble of unhappiness and lots of ds screaming and dh and i fighting, but things changed right at about 7.5 weeks when ds stopped sleeping on me and started sleeping in the swing (this was very random - i nearly lost my mind one morning after he had nursed nearly every 30 minutes and cried all night long with me holding him; dh took him from me, swaddled him, and put him in the swing with a pacifier...that did the trick and he slept for about 2 hours when it had never worked before!). i finally had some freedom back and he slept better (he never really slept on me, just nibble-nursed all day and night; when he wasn't nursing or "asleep," he was screaming).
one thing that helped was having people come to visit to help break up my day, even if they just sat while i nursed or while ds slept on me. my mom often came and sat and held him or listened to me talk about my misery. my sister came to town and held him for several hours so i could get a nap and do a load of laundry. i also was able to e-mail several coworkers about my misery and they were huge supports. rather than pretending i was soooo happy to be a new mommy (which of course i was, but i was struggling so much), i told people the truth when they asked, that we were happy to have ds here but were really struggling and he was not an easy baby. lots of people came out of the woodwork with support and stories of their struggles, which helped to let me just comiserate. i also started having to get us out of the house, even for a drive around town (or a walk if the weather was good enough), just to break myself from the monotony of the screaming and sitting on my butt on the couch or in bed with a baby on me. i also made a point of getting a shower every day, no matter how short it was, just to feel like a normal person and not smell like spitup. i also had a mei tai carrier that i used a lot...the days just cycled through me trying everything to settle ds, each thing calmed him for 30secs to a few mins (walk, bounce on exercise ball, go outside, walk to mailbox, walk around house, use bouncy seat, use swing, bounce on lap, interact on changing table, dance, play on activity mat, look in mirror, bath, etc.). we did find that static noise and hairdryer worked for him to stop the crying for at least a few mins (he now sleeps every night to static). and yes, in order to keep my sanity, there were some times when i just had to let him cry/scream in a safe place while i left the room for a minute to take a deep breath, pee, or grab something to eat or drink. it always felt like whatever worked before never worked as well again.
hth, sorry it's so long and there's no advice to give except to say it does get better!!! hang in there - you are not alone!
Those first 6-7 weeks were the most difficult of my life. I did not think it would ever get any better. However, when she was 2 months or so, she became a totally new baby, and as time passed, I grew closer and closer to her. Weeks 3-4 were by far the worse for me and I spent those 14 days crying my eyes out. It does get better. Just hang in there!
It gets better!!! I was in the same position, and sometimes I would have to leave the house (with DH watching DD) and walk my dog in the dark (and cry the whole way).
DD was a chill peaceful happy baby until 4 weeks. From 4 weeks to 9 weeks, she was a monster. She ended up having silent reflux (we caught it b/c of the constant back arching, and she was only content if eating or sleeping).
I dreaded getting up every morning b/c everyday was so hard. I didn't know what to do for her.
Around 9-10 weeks, I went into my DD's room b/c I heard some noises (she usually woke up screaming hungry everyday), and she was awake and looking around, and SMILED when she saw me.
Since then, she's smiled a ton and is a much happier baby. God, it's great.
Just remember "this too shall pass". It will.