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November 2013 Moms
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SIL vent

chelsdeutschchelsdeutsch member
edited December 2013 in November 2013 Moms
So my sister in law is due the end of Feb with her second baby. Her and my brother are throwing themselves a shower. I'm super annoyed with it. I just had my own second baby and we bought everything we needed, as it should be. I believe a babyshower is to celebrate a new mother. I am really excited to have a niece! I just don't feel like I should have to be buying their stuff. All they registered for were big items. I know my brother will be a jerk if I show up with just some outfits. I KNOW they have the money to buy the items they need, they're just being greedy. I really don't want to go but I also don't want to cause any family drama. Thanks for listening to my vent. I know I haven't been on for a while since having Benny. I hope you and your LOs are doing great! :)
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Re: SIL vent

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  • inlove0509inlove0509 member
    What in the world are these "big ticket" items they registered for and need? They should have all that from the first baby. I'm not appalled at anyone having a second shower (I tend to think the shower is a celebration of the baby) but I would not have a registry and certainly no big items. Sorry you are frustrated by it! Just get them anything. :)
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  • AshleyfurilloAshleyfurillo member
    Littlemama01 said:

    That is annoying!! Did your Sil get you any baby gift for this baby?? If so I would get a gift of the exact same value for them and leave it at that


    This! I would match how much you spend vs how much they spent. You are both having your 2nd child and to throw yourself a shower is very tacky but I wouldn't feel obligated to get them anything major unless they did for you
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  • chelsdeutschchelsdeutsch member
    Littlemama01 said:

    That is annoying!! Did your Sil get you any baby gift for this baby?? If so I would get a gift of the exact same value for them and leave it at that

    No, they didn't get a gift for this LO! I didn't expect them to because he's my second and we just bought what he needed.
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  • AshleyfurilloAshleyfurillo member
    chelsdeutsch said:

    Littlemama01 said:

    That is annoying!! Did your Sil get you any baby gift for this baby?? If so I would get a gift of the exact same value for them and leave it at that

    No, they didn't get a gift for this LO! I didn't expect them to because he's my second and we just bought what he needed.
    I would get a few outfits only because your going to the shower! They can't expect you to get them a large gift when they didn't even get you anything!!
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  • lafsalotlafsalot member
    They didn't bring the baby a gift at all? That's rather absurd to expect you to go to a shower and buy an expensive gift for the baby if they didn't do anything for your baby... I would say do what you want, if you want to buy an outfit go for it... Not that there is a gift giving score sheet but it takes nerve to throw ones own shower let alone a second shower... And registries are suggestions on what someone would like, but not mandatory to follow.
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  • Krystian1990Krystian1990 member
    I'm confused on why a second baby shower is a no no. 

    Why is it a no no? 

    How far apart are the children from each other? 

    IF the children are three/four years apart, they may not have all the stuff from the first baby. 

    Just don't show up. 
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  • Krystian1990Krystian1990 member
    I don't have anything from my oldest. 

    They are five years apart, why would I have kept anything from 5 years ago, when I knew I wasn't going to be having children in the next year or so.
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  • Krystian1990Krystian1990 member
    Then don't buy a second crib, buy something else. 

    I don't feel ashamed for having a second baby shower. 

    But I also didn't plan it, nor did I get any big items, most of the stuff we got was hand me downs. 

    But it wasn't poor planning on my part, it was actually SMART planning to wait five years to have more children. 

    And you have to think, that crib from five years ago, is most likely recalled by now. 
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  • Krystian1990Krystian1990 member
    In rich snotty clicks it's considered poor. 

    No one is expecting to have more children at a young age. I Was dead set against having more children.. So I gave stuff away. 

    Why hoard it, just like I will be giving the twins stuff away to people who will need it because we aren't having more children for another five/six years. 
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  • LittleNanLittleNan member
    OP, if you wanted to go the passive aggressive route, you could always innocently say that you didn't think you were doing gifts for the second babies, since that's what your brother and SIL established.
    But I'm with @mrsnikkimitchell, if you give a gift (which I would want to do), give something that only benefits the baby.
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  • AshleyfurilloAshleyfurillo member
    Having a shower for baby #2 if someone else throws it for you is fine in my opinion, throwing yourself a shower for baby #2 (or #1) is where the no no comes in
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  • ranaverderanaverde member
    Krystian1990 said:

    Why hoard it, just like I will be giving the twins stuff away to people who will need it
    ...while complaining that Toys for Tots is "cheap" for giving your kids stuffed animals.

    ::shaking my head::


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