Self feeding vs spoon feeding

spinsoffresonance

Both my mom and MIL are horrified that we let 12m old DD feed herself with her hands. They both claim that they have never let a child touch food with their hands and have always used silverware. I thought you were suppose to let them self feed? Now I have no intention of changing how we do things, DD is a great eater, but I wonder what seems to be the norm. So most of the time, for most of the foods you...

Aurora_Borealis

We do a little of everything. DD is getting pretty good at using a spoon and fork (she's nearly 2) and does quite well feeding herself soup, yogurt and the like. Other stuff she sometimes uses her hands, sometimes uses her fork. As long as she's not throwing the food or otherwise making a huge mess I'm not bothered how she feeds herself.

My mom made a similar comment that she fed my sister & me and never let us get food everywhere...but she then said it was great that DD ate so nicely and didn't get food everywhere so maybe it didn't matter.

jess9802

DS has wanted to use a fork or spoon by himself for months now (and not just the baby fork, but whatever silverware we're using). Sometimes we have to pre-load, sometimes not, but he almost always gets impatient and starts using his hands about halfway through the meal.

kalette

I always give her silverware, but I let her choose. Sometimes she wants to use it,sometimes she gets impatient and uses her hands.

jnnfrrose6

DS feeds himself, but we always have a spoon or fork available for him to use, so sometimes he uses his hands to eat and sometimes he takes the time to use the silverware.  I depends on what he's eating, how hungry he is, and how interested he is in it.  He really likes to spear things with his fork, though, and feed himself so he will take the time to do that even though just using his hands would be more efficient.  We never "preload" his spoon or spoon feed him.  He can figure it out on his own.

vamomtobe

DS is 20 months and uses forks, spoons, knives, and hands, and as long as food gets in his mouth, I don't care which it is.  I'm wondering if they're horrified because they've just forgotten that that's how toddlers eat.  My mom makes a lot of eyebrow-raising claims (that I similarly ignore)

mb314

Older infants and toddlers need to learn how to feed themselves.  Playing with food (exploring the textures, tastes, etc) is part of them growing developmentally.  Yes, it makes a mess, but your LO is learning how to handle food. 

DS refused to be spoon fed, so we didn't really even do solids until he could feed himself.  At about 12 or 13 months, I gave him a toddler spoon so he can feed himself the apple sauce and yogurt.  It gets everywhere, and he many times ends up dipping his hand in the yogurt and sucking it off of his fingers.  But he's learning.

jennyelf

We give LO the silverware (sometimes he asks us for it if we forget). He's great at using it for stuff like yogurt and applesauce or cereal w/ milk. And sometimes will use the fork for things he can easily stab (tomatoes, cut up fruit, tortellini). Anything else ends up being finger food.
My favorite is where he will hold a spoon or fork in one hand and then eat with the other hand or use that hand to load the spoon or fork, then take it off the spoon or fork with his hand and shove it into his mouth.

tifdaski84

We gave LO a fork or spoon starting around 9 months and he uses them pretty regularly now.  With that said, he still prefers his hands/fingers sometimes and I don't stop him.  

spinsoffresonance

@vamomtobe, not sure if they've forgotten that's how their kids ate too or if they truly didn't let their kids handle food. But then how did they ever learn to eat with silverware baffles me. My MIL clearly stated that there's no way her kids would have ever eaten with silverware if she had given them the option to eat with their hands.
@LalaMama81, I always give DD a spoon/fork and she likes to try to stab her food with it but after about 2 min she goes back to hand feeding.
Looks like the poll confirmed what I thought, my mom and MIL are insane and no one doesn't let their kids touch their food. Every single time I have my mom on the phone she asks if DD still eats off the floor like a little dog. Um, no she doesn't and she never has, but apparently putting food in your mouth with your hands = eating off the floor, in her mind!

ashiscute

lica001 said:

@vamomtobe, not sure if they've forgotten that's how their kids ate too or if they truly didn't let their kids handle food. But then how did they ever learn to eat with silverware baffles me. My MIL clearly stated that there's no way her kids would have ever eaten with silverware if she had given them the option to eat with their hands.
@LalaMama81, I always give DD a spoon/fork and she likes to try to stab her food with it but after about 2 min she goes back to hand feeding.
Looks like the poll confirmed what I thought, my mom and MIL are insane and no one doesn't let their kids touch their food. Every single time I have my mom on the phone she asks if DD still eats off the floor like a little dog. Um, no she doesn't and she never has, but apparently putting food in your mouth with your hands = eating off the floor, in her mind!

I'm baffled.  Didn't she ever give food that you don't need utensils to eat?  My 15 mo uses a spoon and fork periodically but honestly a lot of foods that he eats are finger foods.  The only thing I spoon feed him is soup.

acbfreire

DD mostly uses her hands. She can eat with a spoon and fork, she just is faster with her hands. I do not mind. She will eventually use all silverware.
Like others said, if she is too hungry, she will ignore the spoon/ fork. She also uses the fork and then takes the food off with her hands.
It is part of the learning!
I've had some older folks give me grief for letting her eat with her hands. I do not care...

michelle615

Both hands and fork/spoon.  Similar to what others have said.  DS will use the silverware really well sometimes, other times he dives in with his hands regardless of what the food is.  I agree he will figure it out eventually.  I try to verbally encourage the use silverware more than physically help at this point since he does know how to do it.  I think he's enjoying figuring out how things feel, move, etc. 

plus12012

We give DD a spoon and she likes to try and use it. I still feed her really messy foods but, otherwise she just finger feeds herself.

Karen1024

Just show them this! A new study out of University of Iowa shows toddlers who are allowed to self feed and get messy with non-solid foods have better language skills!  Also, I'm a big believer in having a healthy immune system which they can't have if they never get exposed to germs.  So there's that too.

https://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/toddler/1203/messy-eaters-may-have-a-leg-up-on-learning.aspx

blushingbride_08

I'm a SS. LO eats most foods with one hand while holding a spoon or fork in the other. He eats applesauce and yogurt mostly using a spoon though.

g8trkim

blushingbride_08 said:

I'm a SS. LO eats most foods with one hand while holding a spoon or fork in the other. He eats applesauce and yogurt mostly using a spoon though.

beautiflaw

When we first started DD on solids I fed her from a spoon to give her a taste. I always put some on her tray though so she could play in it and feed herself with her hands as she wanted to. But I also wanted her to get familiar with a spoon.

Once she could do it herself without my help, I let her do her thing. But I kept a spoon or fork on her tray that she could experiment with as she wanted. She actually hated having food on her hands (still does) and realized she didn't have to get food on her hands if she used a spoon.

Now she is almost 2.5 and she still sometimes eats with her hands when she gets tired of using a spoon or fork. We have just now started pushing using silverware and having table manners. Up until now we've been focused heavily on getting her to eat a variety of foods.