separation issues — The Bump
Babies: 9 - 12 Months

separation issues

My 9 month old went to stay with this grandma last night, and I lost it when he was gone! Does anyone else have these issues?

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Re: separation issues

  • For sure.  We haven't had many chances to have a babysitter.  We just left our 9month old with a family from church on Friday evening.  She bawled when we left.  It was hard.  We both just reassured each other that baby would be fine for a few hours.

    When we picked her up she was calm and very happy to see us.  She even slept for 1.5hrs on the moms chest while we were out.  I was shocked.  We were gone about 4.5hrs.  It totally gave me confidence to try again.

    We have no family in town (well a few members but they won't babysit).  So it is especially hard.  If baby is able to stay with grandma for you then by all means do it!  It is really great for EVERYONE.  Baby can bond with grandma and learn that even if mommy goes for a bit she always returns, baby learns that if mommy is gone for a bit someone else will comfort him and meet his needs.  Mommy gets a bit of a the beginning the breaks are heart wrench and nerve wracking but in time these breaks will be very important for your sanity!

    My mom lives 21 hrs away from us but my brother, SIL and nephew live a few minutes from her.  In the early months they would drop my nephew off and do groceries and other short errands.  Over time my nephew would visit my mom at least once a week for short periods and for longer, even over night stays when needed.  It worked for everyone...the mini babysitting helped everyone adjust.

    I find the longer the time between using a babysitter the harder it is for everyone.


  • I know that it would be great for both of us, I just got used to him always being there and when he is there I wouldn't mind having a few hours to myself but when he is gone I am a little lost at first and then me and my husband when to the gym and I was ok until this morning when he was not beside me.

    And I know that he shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed but its really hard to break him, I can't stand to hear him cry!

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  • I can stand about an hour away from DD, maybe two if I push myself.
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