Need to vent... — The Bump
Special Needs

Need to vent...

DS has been acting out every day, and usually its over simple things like getting ready in the morning (tooth brushing, face washing). A conversation goes something like this:

The morning is smooth & happy. As early as 530a he gets up, and wants me to engage in active play with him or he starts seeking attention for something etc. When I start getting him ready, "DS could you come brush your teeth & wash your face please?" He will sulk away pretending he doesn't hear me, or gives me a rasberry in response.

I am exhausted, I know its because of the new changes - one, his sister coming home and him being a "big brother" now is major. I have tried to give him at least 30min a day of my individual attention - in play, etc. But even with that, he still is seeking attention (positive and negative).

Sometimes I wonder if daddy spent more time with him too, he wouldn't act out as much. Daddy enjoys TV/gaming time with DS, they both enjoy it, but what gets out DS's energy is time at the playground, or heavy work on a bike, etc. Daddy doesn't do those activities with him, and if he does...its rare. I keep telling DH, but he seems to have checked out of parenting/household duties. For example, if I don't dress DS for the day, DS will be in his PJs all through the day.

While DH has been sick this week (with a fever), I've noticed this change in DH since we came home from the hospital. I have brought this up to him out of concern and well...exhaustion, and while he is receptive for the most part, no changes have been made. Its like he's here, but he isn't. He seems to be on auto-pilot.
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Re: Need to vent...

  • I agree with auntie.  My son is 3.5 and I started doing the first/then thing and it's working. He understands if he doesn't do xxx then he won't get to xxx. Look into some sort of preschool, they are wonderful to get energy out and socialize with peers, even if just part time. I would sit down and have a heart to heart with DH about all of this. Maybe he doesn't even know he is doing this. Have your hubby come up with some activities to do with your son. Get your son involved. Have dad sit down and ask him things he would like to do with daddy but then daddy has to follow thru with them. It doesn't have to take a ton of time, 30 minutes maybe.
  • Princess_LilyPrincess_Lily
    Sixth Anniversary 250 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2013
    I did the "first/then" this morning, and it worked wonders!  Ya know, I used to do that with him, and then forgot about it!

    I had a heart-to-heart with DH about 2 weeks ago, but I notice he's comfortable doing playtime with DS in ways he is comfortable with (ie. legos, gaming).  I wish there was more outdoor play. But I feel like I'll just nag him if I keep telling him to go outside with him. I want to avoid micro-managing, which I tend to do when stressed.

    I'm also keeping an eye on PPD in both DH and I.  I seem to be okay\, but DH he seems to have bouts of it, but its not everyday occurrence though.  He is usually "glass half full" guy, and lately he is looking at it half empty. 
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