I can't be the only one...

Sugaree5335

Am I seriously the only person who doesn't want her kid's picture/information posted on Facebook? 

I never even announced being pregnant on FB.  I had planned on saying something once we had the anatomy scan, but both of my parents beat me to the punch and announced both his gender and his name before I had even announced that I was pregnant.  After that I just kind of quit caring about it.  But the closer we got to our due date, DH and I started really talking about what kind of information we wanted out there about LO.  We both asked our parents to refrain from posting anything (in writing even) and if I ever posted anything then they were free to share it.  His parents listened.  Mine did not.  Within two hours, my dad had made not one, but two posts about LO's birth.  He removed them when I called him out on it, but even still every time I text/email them a cute picture the first reaction is stil "you should put that on facebook."  Grrrr...

Emerald27

I'm that annoying girl who I'm sure most of my friends have removed from their newsfeed, because I pretty much only post things about DS. :P I'm also constantly posting photos of him. I have asked that grandparents run photos by me before posting, but pretty much it's NBD to me. That's more of a concern because I don't know who their friends all are, and I've carefully managed my FB friends list so that I know I'm comfortable sharing information with anyone on it.

My SIL and another good friend both don't want any photos of their kids on FB. I understand where they're coming from, and I totally respect that. You have to do what you're comfortable with.

Now what I do find super strange is that an acquaintance of mine created a FB account for her DD, who is only 5 months old now, and posts all sorts of photos and milestone updates and other stuff. I find that a bit extreme...IMHO. Kid needs to decide for herself if she wants a FB account. My DS won't have one until he's 40 (or something like that. Rules under construction. Lol).

Sugaree5335

Emerald27 said:

I'm that annoying girl who I'm sure most of my friends have removed from their newsfeed, because I pretty much only post things about DS. :P I'm also constantly posting photos of him. I have asked that grandparents run photos by me before posting, but pretty much it's NBD to me. That's more of a concern because I don't know who their friends all are, and I've carefully managed my FB friends list so that I know I'm comfortable sharing information with anyone on it. My SIL and another good friend both don't want any photos of their kids on FB. I understand where they're coming from, and I totally respect that. You have to do what you're comfortable with. Now what I do find super strange is that an acquaintance of mine created a FB account for her DD, who is only 5 months old now, and posts all sorts of photos and milestone updates and other stuff. I find that a bit extreme...IMHO. Kid needs to decide for herself if she wants a FB account. My DS won't have one until he's 40 (or something like that. Rules under construction. Lol).

This is a big issue with me.  My mom has 300+ "friends," but may only see 50 of them in a year.  I've also had to have several talks with her about posting inappropriate things.  For example, It's one thing if you want to tell people that you're going to be out of town and your house is going to be empty, but please don't post that I'm going to be out of the country for 10 days starting on X day. 

My biggest issue with FB is that I haven't made up my mind about how I feel about creating LO's digital footprint before he can even walk.  I can't imagine being in elementary school and my friends being able to see pictures of me going all the way back to the ultrasound with the arrow point at my nether regions saying "it's a girl."  Ya know?

The final reason is that I don't like the idea of FB owning the rights to use my photos without my permission.  I don't want to open up FB one day to see my son's picture on a Similac ad.  FB is a publically traded company right now, and failing.  They have to have some sort of new revenue stream and I believe that they will leverage the only thing they really have and that is information about people.  I would rather shield my son from that for as long as possible.

ReeceFamily

I ended my "relationship" with FB about 6 months ago for a variety of reasons.  The more I have learned about FB and their ever-changing privacy policies, the more I just didn't want to be on FB anymore. I also don't like Mark Zuckerberg's politics - and he uses his vast wealth to promote his personal politics. It's kind of isolating being one of the only people I know who isn't on FB, but I can deal.  I just e-mail photos to family and friends occasionally.

=Lee=B

We use facebook.  I wasn't all into it for quite some time then I realized how important a tool it was for me to stay in touch with my family that now lives 20 hours away from us.  I have over 30 close family members back in my home town.  I see them twice a year.  Facebook allows me to see what is going on in their lives and it allows them to see my daughter grow.

While I don't fully trust the "security settings" I do have it set so friends can see my stuff but not friends of friends.  Of course, my family and friends can post my pics on their walls if they choose, but most really don't and I wouldn't much care if they did.

I don't use the weird features that track my every move and tells people where I am shopping and eating etc...that kind of creeps me out.

TiffanyBerry

While I understand your sentiment, and respect your right to not want to post anything about your kid, telling grandma that she can't tell her friends about her granddaughter AT ALL is a bit extreme, I think. Asking for no pictures, I can accept, as you have legal rights to control her image already. But that a relative can't even talk about time they enjoy with their relative (your LO) oversteps, IMHO.

musicalmama5

While I am in the probably-posting-way-too-many-pictures camp, I totally understand and respect when people don't want their kid's picture online. It is very rare though. I own a music school and we have a little box to check on our registration form if parents don't want their kid's picture to end up on our website or facebook page. And I can count on one hand the number of parents who have checked that box. I'm not saying it's wrong, just that it's uncommon, so if your parents have other grandchildren, they might not be accustomed to having to hold back. 

But I would have been pretty upset if someone else had announced my pregnancy online. Uhh, that's for ME to shout from the rooftops! (FB is the new rooftop)

SidraJedi

I have a FB account but I don't like FB and I hardly use it. I've never put any info about DD on there. I share on TB but I don't over share. Plus TB is the Internet but it is not FB.

amandarins

I've never shared on FB. I've shared maybe 4 pics on Instagram that have all been watermarked and are private. There's people that go on Instagram and take photos of other peoples babies and post them for abusive and sexual role play dialog with other users. It's repulsive but not illegal. I'm so turned off at the idea of putting his pics out there.

=Lee=B

amandarins said:

I've never shared on FB. I've shared maybe 4 pics on Instagram that have all been watermarked and are private. There's people that go on Instagram and take photos of other peoples babies and post them for abusive and sexual role play dialog with other users. It's repulsive but not illegal. I'm so turned off at the idea of putting his pics out there.

I get this, it's disgusting and horrible.  But I just think that this is rather rare and the odds of them taking my child's picture are slim.  If they did, we would not know about it..my daughter would suffer no harm and neither would my family.  Therefore, it just seems like the pros of sharing pics with extended family and friends far out weigh the cons of someone actually stealing a picture of my fully clothed, unidentifiable child to use for such a purpose.

kcisthebombdotcom

amandarins said:

I've never shared on FB. I've shared maybe 4 pics on Instagram that have all been watermarked and are private. There's people that go on Instagram and take photos of other peoples babies and post them for abusive and sexual role play dialog with other users. It's repulsive but not illegal. I'm so turned off at the idea of putting his pics out there.

Sexual predators are everywhere. They could just as easily snap a candid of my kid at the playground or in a bathing suit at the pool with their phone or an ipad than they could steal a picture of my kid through fb. Since I don't hide my children in the basement all day everyday I think the risks are pretty identical. I watch what I say, what kinds of pictures I do post, and utilize privacy settings.

aglenn

I don't even do Facebook at all, and we did ask family not to post pictures of our kids on their pages.  Our parents don't do Facebook either so the only family members who would be posting stuff would be our younger siblings and I don't feel bad about telling them no. 

MJM3108

I am definitely in the sharing lots of pics category, but I watch my privacy settings and limit who can see/ share my pics. For me, my family is literally spread out over the globe, and we don't get to talk much, but we all have FB accounts, so this is the easiest way for me to share LO's growth, progress, etc, with the whole family at once. 

I totally agree with what @KC_13 said about the risks involved. 

It's a personal choice we all have to make. 

PhillyRN

My MIL is a FB "over sharer."  She checks in everywhere she goes and posts every detail of her life.  I'm surprised that she doesn't check in every time she uses the bathroom.  That being said, we told her from the beginning that she wasn't allow to post anything about our son or his pictures. She has been pretty good so far.  My family doesn't use FB much so it hasn't been an issue.  I have some pictures posted, but not a lot.  I figure, my kid my rules.  If my MIL doesn't like it, too bad!

neverblushed

I try not to post too much but I will post pictures of my kids in certain contexts.  For instance, I did post a picture of my son after a karate tournament, to share his accomplishment and to let friends and relatives know how he'd done, but I didn't post a picture I took of him later that day with a Santa hat on at the tree farm.  There was no reason to post that other than to say "Look! I'm getting my tree today! Isn't my son cute!"

This becomes more interesting and complicated when your kids get older.  For a while I've avoided posting certain things about my daughter, who is 13, because I knew she would soon be old enough to have her own FB account.  I didn't want to make her uncomfortable with too many family pictures out there when she'd probably prefer to portray herself as her own person and not as "neverblushed's" cute daughter, which is of course how I would like to portray her!

I certainly wasn't going to encourage her to sign up for FB on the day of her 13th birthday, but when I asked her a few months later if friends were on FB at all, she surprised me by saying "Who cares about that, mom!  Only old people are on there!"   Of course, "old people" to her means anyone over legal driving age. 

I suspect, however, that the social media landscape is changing, and that FB may become what my daughter thinks it is -- the "old" social media site that soon becomes more and more irrelevant.

Emerald27

@neverblushed My FB profile pic is DS at the tree farm before we cut down our tree! Lol :P

Shoecrazysarah

I don't do FB or any other online posting of LO's pics. It seems most are missing the real danger of this. Each photo that is taken with a smartphone is embedded with data in the photo they can include time, date and location. Tech savvy folks can not only use this embedded data to find out your address, they can even pinpoint where in your house LO's bedroom is. In addition, they can track patterns. Such as you go to such and such park every Saturday at 9am and which daycare in what days.

If a predator sets his sights on your child it can quickly become an obsession leading to stalking or worse and he can use the data embedded in your digital photos to pursue your child.

musicalmama5

neverblushed said:

I try not to post too much but I will post pictures of my kids in certain contexts.  For instance, I did post a picture of my son after a karate tournament, to share his accomplishment and to let friends and relatives know how he'd done, but I didn't post a picture I took of him later that day with a Santa hat on at the tree farm.  There was no reason to post that other than to say "Look! I'm getting my tree today! Isn't my son cute!"

This becomes more interesting and complicated when your kids get older.  For a while I've avoided posting certain things about my daughter, who is 13, because I knew she would soon be old enough to have her own FB account.  I didn't want to make her uncomfortable with too many family pictures out there when she'd probably prefer to portray herself as her own person and not as "neverblushed's" cute daughter, which is of course how I would like to portray her!

I certainly wasn't going to encourage her to sign up for FB on the day of her 13th birthday, but when I asked her a few months later if friends were on FB at all, she surprised me by saying "Who cares about that, mom!  Only old people are on there!"   Of course, "old people" to her means anyone over legal driving age. 

I suspect, however, that the social media landscape is changing, and that FB may become what my daughter thinks it is -- the "old" social media site that soon becomes more and more irrelevant.

Your daughter is right! I heard a story on NPR about how Snap Chat was offered an insane amount of money by FB to get bought out and they turned it down. Apparently teenagers aren't really using FB. They're using Snap Chat and Instagram. Which are both solely for photo sharing. So, if photos of your kid online scares any of you, might want to have a chat with them about these apps too (if they're old enough obviously).

Runningtostandstill

I don't do FB or any other online posting of LO's pics. It seems most are missing the real danger of this. Each photo that is taken with a smartphone is embedded with data in the photo they can include time, date and location. Tech savvy folks can not only use this embedded data to find out your address, they can even pinpoint where in your house LO's bedroom is. In addition, they can track patterns. Such as you go to such and such park every Saturday at 9am and which daycare in what days. If a predator sets his sights on your child it can quickly become an obsession leading to stalking or worse and he can use the data embedded in your digital photos to pursue your child.

Just visiting this board! I think this is something you can change on your mobile settings right? So that your phone doesn't publicly track the location of your photos. Also, does anyone know if you delete photos on Facebook, if they still own the rights to them? I haven't posted anything too crazy, but when DS1 was born, I was over the moon excited and posted WAY too many photos of him and now regret it and would like to take them down, but I'm hoping if I do, then I won't have to worry about seeing my kid on a billboard somewhere in 10 years.

Shoecrazysarah

Runningtostandstill said:

Shoecrazysarah said:

I don't do FB or any other online posting of LO's pics. It seems most are missing the real danger of this. Each photo that is taken with a smartphone is embedded with data in the photo they can include time, date and location. Tech savvy folks can not only use this embedded data to find out your address, they can even pinpoint where in your house LO's bedroom is. In addition, they can track patterns. Such as you go to such and such park every Saturday at 9am and which daycare in what days.

If a predator sets his sights on your child it can quickly become an obsession leading to stalking or worse and he can use the data embedded in your digital photos to pursue your child.

Just visiting this board! I think this is something you can change on your mobile settings right? So that your phone doesn't publicly track the location of your photos.

Also, does anyone know if you delete photos on Facebook, if they still own the rights to them? I haven't posted anything too crazy, but when DS1 was born, I was over the moon excited and posted WAY too many photos of him and now regret it and would like to take them down, but I'm hoping if I do, then I won't have to worry about seeing my kid on a billboard somewhere in 10 years.

Yep. It would depend on the phone as to how to change your settings. Personally, to be safe I would completely disable GPS function while taking photos you plan to post. If I was going to post a photo, I would also take it somewhere I don't frequent.

That's a good question about FB, I look forward to seeing if anyone knows the answer!

Edit: I know it's old school, but I just have prints done up and sent out to friends and family. I have a cousin who does a calendar every year with the best photos from the past year.

Sugaree5335

TiffanyBerry said:

While I understand your sentiment, and respect your right to not want to post anything about your kid, telling grandma that she can't tell her friends about her granddaughter AT ALL is a bit extreme, I think. Asking for no pictures, I can accept, as you have legal rights to control her image already. But that a relative can't even talk about time they enjoy with their relative (your LO) oversteps, IMHO.

I understand why you think that, but until grandma understands the difference between what is okay to post ("I had a great day with my grandson.") vs. what's not okay to post ("I had a great day with my grandson playing on the playground at XYZ elementary school where he'll be starting Kindergarten in the fall.  He has Ms. ABC as his teacher.") then I have to request that no information be shared at all.  Grandma seriously doesn't see the difference in the two above statements.  She also doesn't use security controls, so the whole world can see her page. 

neverblushed

Emerald27 said:

@neverblushed My FB profile pic is DS at the tree farm before we cut down our tree! Lol :P

It's different if you choose that as your profile pic, though.  That's a way of saying "this is the image I have chosen to represent me through the holiday season."  It's like putting a wreath on your door.

If I put up pics of:  karate tournament at 10 am, getting the tree with Santa hat at 2 pm, kicked back on the couch with a bowl of chex mix at 6 pm, and helping bring down boxes of ornaments at 8 pm, it's excessive and AWish.  

TiffanyBerry

Sugaree5335 said:

TiffanyBerry said:

While I understand your sentiment, and respect your right to not want to post anything about your kid, telling grandma that she can't tell her friends about her granddaughter AT ALL is a bit extreme, I think. Asking for no pictures, I can accept, as you have legal rights to control her image already. But that a relative can't even talk about time they enjoy with their relative (your LO) oversteps, IMHO.

I understand why you think that, but until grandma understands the difference between what is okay to post ("I had a great day with my grandson.") vs. what's not okay to post ("I had a great day with my grandson playing on the playground at XYZ elementary school where he'll be starting Kindergarten in the fall.  He has Ms. ABC as his teacher.") then I have to request that no information be shared at all.  Grandma seriously doesn't see the difference in the two above statements.  She also doesn't use security controls, so the whole world can see her page. 

Yeah, that is reasonable.  But have you TOLD HER that if she can do the former, you'll be happy, but if she does the latter, you will be asking her to not post anything?  She doesn't have to understand why you establish your rule, but if you give her a clear rule (just like with a toddler!), she can likely follow it.  (BTW, "no identifying information" isn't a clear rule.  But, "please do not include her location, age identifying information, or the full names of any people" (or whatever other concrete things you need to add) she could follow.  Because saying "had a great time playing with my grandson at the school playground where he will be attending school and will have a great teacher" is also generic and I would expect would fall into your acceptable category.)

Sugaree5335

TiffanyBerry said:

Sugaree5335 said:

TiffanyBerry said:

While I understand your sentiment, and respect your right to not want to post anything about your kid, telling grandma that she can't tell her friends about her granddaughter AT ALL is a bit extreme, I think. Asking for no pictures, I can accept, as you have legal rights to control her image already. But that a relative can't even talk about time they enjoy with their relative (your LO) oversteps, IMHO.

I understand why you think that, but until grandma understands the difference between what is okay to post ("I had a great day with my grandson.") vs. what's not okay to post ("I had a great day with my grandson playing on the playground at XYZ elementary school where he'll be starting Kindergarten in the fall.  He has Ms. ABC as his teacher.") then I have to request that no information be shared at all.  Grandma seriously doesn't see the difference in the two above statements.  She also doesn't use security controls, so the whole world can see her page. 

Yeah, that is reasonable.  But have you TOLD HER that if she can do the former, you'll be happy, but if she does the latter, you will be asking her to not post anything?  She doesn't have to understand why you establish your rule, but if you give her a clear rule (just like with a toddler!), she can likely follow it.  (BTW, "no identifying information" isn't a clear rule.  But, "please do not include her location, age identifying information, or the full names of any people" (or whatever other concrete things you need to add) she could follow.  Because saying "had a great time playing with my grandson at the school playground where he will be attending school and will have a great teacher" is also generic and I would expect would fall into your acceptable category.)

We've had this conversation a few times, in regards to LO and in regards to other things that she shouldn't be posting.  First, she'll "forget" that I told her not to post anything about X, Y, or Z.  Then, when I put it in writing she'll follow what I say, but thinks that leaves anything else free to discuss with whoever.  Right now the only way I'll reconsider my position is for her to show some common sense in posting things (just today, she posted how she was packing for her trip next week, what day she's leaving, and when she'll be back...if that's not an invitation to get robbed, I don't know what is...and a conversation we've had about how she shouldn't do that) and lock her profile up so that only her "friends" can see it. 

TiffanyBerry

Yeah, if she can't abide by some fairly basic (and commonly recommended) rules, that makes sense. I wouldn't be shocked if she doesn't follow your rules, as she can make her own decisions, but I hope she does.

skibunny59

You're not the only one.  I hate FB.  I have an account but I am hardly ever on.  I go on once every three weeks or so just to look at pictures of my nephews and my cousin's kids.  DH posts most of the pics of DD on his account.  Occasionally I will post some pics of DD.  I never comment or change my status or do any of that.  I just don't have time.  I don't understand how people have time to be on FB 24/7.  I would be annoyed at your parents too.